Resetting the counter again. Trying not to be discouraged and that's a hard one. Part of me feels like at least I can make it 4-5 days and then again, I have been struggling to make it past 7 w/o PMO which feels like no progress and internally I feel stuck.
I mentioned in a previous post that I have been ignoring my issues and they have been getting worse it seems over the last year. I am trying to re-commit to 1. Awareness and 2. Disciplined action.
These cycles seem to repeat. My partner has been on the edge once again of giving up on our relationship due to the way I am engaging/not engaging. I can see how much my addictions play out and effect the rest of my life and cause pain to those around me as well as myself. I am making the commitment to try to stop. I am making the commitment to re engaging in therapy. I am making the commitment to engage in my meditation practice and to meet with my teachers around this. Feels like I need anything and everything to step toward a more lasting recovery.
I am feeling exhausted with this and tired of the repeat cycles and hearing myself say the same shit over and over again. What is it going to take to act in a way that will feel like consistent action?
To starting over again.
I mentioned in a previous post that I have been ignoring my issues and they have been getting worse it seems over the last year. I am trying to re-commit to 1. Awareness and 2. Disciplined action.
These cycles seem to repeat. My partner has been on the edge once again of giving up on our relationship due to the way I am engaging/not engaging. I can see how much my addictions play out and effect the rest of my life and cause pain to those around me as well as myself. I am making the commitment to try to stop. I am making the commitment to re engaging in therapy. I am making the commitment to engage in my meditation practice and to meet with my teachers around this. Feels like I need anything and everything to step toward a more lasting recovery.
I am feeling exhausted with this and tired of the repeat cycles and hearing myself say the same shit over and over again. What is it going to take to act in a way that will feel like consistent action?
To starting over again.