Becoming my true, satisfied self

About a week ago I experienced the same wake-up scare anyone dealing with the problem has had. Yet I am still in doubt about what my situation is right now and I thought it might be helpful to ask for the experience of others to be able to judge my own situation and to know what to expect. The question is: how much weight does either anxiety or porn have in the combo that makes up my ED. I have to say I only experienced it for the first time last week, since I met a girl and it was the first time in a couple of years I was having real sex.

I am a nervous type, especially when it comes to new relationships. With my previous girlfriend I was really nervous the first time and had some difficulties the first couple of minutes, but even the first time sex went okay... Porn usage was more or less the same as now (minus 3 years).

This time around I got a full erection when cuddling and kissing/touching. But once we were about to have sex, the boner disappeared. I freaked out. She asked if it had something to do with her... but was sweet about it, luckily. I really want to hit it off with this amazing girl, so I'm really frustrated and want it to 'heal' asap.

As of my porn usage: I have been using Porn Hub for about 7 years. Although I got tired and kept looking for 'better porn' it never got to the point where I got into really disturbing shit or feeling 'nasty' after finishing. I would say it was like 5 times/week that I took the time for... well. Sessions would be around half an hour.

Symptoms are what I described earlier. Right after my experience, I wasn't able to get it up, even with porn! The day after I did get morning wood and was able to finish without (fantasizing about) porn. Did it once more a few days later to test it out. It doesn't feel as good and doesn't take as long, strangely. So morning wood is still present, but somewhat weaker.

After heaving read about the benefits of quitting porn, I really do want to quit. But as short as I am into abstaining from PMO, I couldn't help myself a few times, but I try to build op courage.  I'm hoping I might be lucky and only have mild PIED... thus being able to reboot my libido faster. I'm just hoping to 'make it up to her' soon.

I have yet to make a streak of quitting porn. It scares me that I have never realised how addicted I was. I was always: 'hell, why not?' But as I read more, I keep feeling guilty, as I realise it was pathetic. Building up a starting no PMO streak is so darn difficult. Couldn't resist the urge to click to my porn favorites yesterday. Had a quick fap... Probably is less damaging then 'taking the time for it', but still very bad.

Resisting the urge at this very moment and trying to find motivation in great sex with this awesome girl. That and relief of social anxiety at work.

Focus on your girlfriend! This might help you to set some smaller goals like not watching sexy pictures or profiles in social media etc.
Be mindful it will suck hardcore because your brain will not get the same dopamine rushes anymore so you'll feel terrible. But do not be alarmed, it is a normal process and you have to bear with it for a time until it sorts itself out.

Stay strong man and get out more!

Thanks a lot. Focusing on the sucky feeling afterwards is the best motivation for me right now.

I guess a big difficulty is that I'm not in a relationship with my sex partner. Right now it has been 1,5 week since I was intimate with her. I think more time connecting with her would be so beneficial. But I don't want to push her into seeing me more often, as we both have busy schedules, often working late hours.

I'd really like to find out how much the ED has to do with anxiety. If it's half the problem, it's kind of a relief since full blown PIED would be worse to recover from. But the combination of too much porn and fear of disappointing her again the next time is so hard. And being away from her is kind of pulling me into PMO to comfort myself.

I try to stay strong. Time to get a no-PMO streak going. Starting. Now.

So it has been a while... I'm afraid I had a second horrible experience yesterday with my 'thing on the side'. Although I have been cutting down on porn seriously, I thought quitting completely wouldn't be necessary and that nervousness was a big part of the cause.

I went limp again when I was about to penetrate. She felt insulted and I don't know if she believes it when I say I'm the problem. I kind of explained it to her, but she doesn't understand (her ex used to watch porn too...)

So I'm going to stop making excuses and quit it for good. I'm deleting my accounts, because my favorite videos are just a few key strokes away. Really, really hoping to make it up to her. Any tips on trying to explain the problem to her? Or should I avoid that entirely?

Anyway, I now have all the movitation I'll ever need to ban it once and for all...

It seems like an obvious thing to do, but deleting my porn accounts was a necessary first step. So happy I did that.

I now feel a lot more empowered to stop. And I now realised it's a mind set. It can't just be about getting streaks going. I feel I should naturally cut down on porn and not focus too much on it. Giving it negative thoughts also makes you think of it more, which may lead to PMO. So I try not to.

Thinking about satisfying a woman is the best motivation. I really feel like I can do this and get out of this sad nightmare of disappointing real women in bed. I'm trying to stay patient, hoping to see results after a few weeks and not panic if it takes longer.

Relapsed yesterday. My brain played the curiosity trick on me. Not gonna let that happen again. I feel especially regretful 'cause I feel like I have the ability to resist. Time to stick to it now.

I'm seeing a girl in a non-relationship way (F-buddy), but I'm really fond of her and I feel like something is changing and that eventually we'll become a couple. She is as much of a huge motivation as a stress factor, because she has a high libido and has expectations. Last time I got like 70% hard, but it dropped to about 50% when we tried to engage in sex. She still says she understands my porn problem, but keeps adding the 'but every guy watches porn...'-line.

I do get erections while kissing and from her touching me (although no full ones), but it's when the act comes up, that I feel emasculated, every time again... So the problem is I'm getting impatient to satisfy her (and  myself) to 'prove' that she IS very attractive to me (which she is of course). But it would seem rediculous for me to explain those PIED-related details to her.

I guess there's only one thing do to: try not to be rushed into trying to have sex and DO get a streak going. I really hope I'm a quick recoverer. Patience, patience, patience...

yeah this is another ,
lets try last time
lets check out whats there.

Thanks for pointing another lie , which our brain plays , I am gonna post in my thread of lies.

Get a counter, its a mental trip thing that helps keep you accountable. Youre already ahead of the game, people like me who took it too far cant get hard even if a girl is stroking my D. Cut out the porn, get physical even if it isnt sex - it speeds recovery. Seems like you know what you need to do its just a matter of doing it. Good luck and Vae victis!

-NeverSurrender

Never is right.
get a counter.

Give up the porn my friend.  U have to,  we all have to.  It's ruined our lives.  Kill it hury it.  Trust me it'll get easier and easier the longer u go.  The brain slowly will get used to notbeing constantly flooded with dopamine for days  months years on end.  Ull get withdrawals ull feel depressed and anxiety will kick in but u have to let go man. And I beg u dont relapse once u reach a milestone.  it ruins alot.  I would suggest completely avoiding all forms of sexual thoughts orgasm ejaculation even with ur gf. At least for about 120 days.  The slowly after start rewiring.

Keep going porn is no longer an option.  Get the mindset into ur head. No More Porn forever. 

55 days great progress.
keep it up

Saw my gf again yesterday and luckily she was on her period, so no stress. She did give me a hand and b-job, but I did not O. BUT it felt completely different. No longer painful or awkward, but much, much nicer. Finally enjoyable. Definitely an improvement. My erection was really hard with her for the first time. This is such a motivation.

It has been 8 days since I PMO'd and that is my longest streak. Been doing 4-7 days without a few times before, but I don't feel the need for it anymore. So glad. Trying to stick to it. But I don't want to ruin the healing process by having sex to early.

Sounds like you're doing great! I'm on my 6th day of hard mode right now, so I'm struggling along with you.

Wish you luck!

Hold onto that feeling as motivation, good work!

-Never Quit, Never Surrender

It has been a while again. Had some turbulent weeks and somewhat of a crisis. I stopped seeing the girl because she didn't want a relationship. Sadly, I had developed feelings fo her, but I decided to cut it off, since she didn't feel the same.

Unfortunately this led me back to porn and I was only able to have no-PMO streaks of 2-3 days. I'm currently fighting mood swings and trying to pull myself together again. Pick myself up. Telling myself it will get better. Losing the girl kind of destroyed my motivation, but I want to reboot for when I meet someone new.

And to do that, I want a clearer head and be at peace with myself. So, this is the way.

I added a counter and blocked porn sites in my router.

you need a break.
if that's possible, get out.
stay away from computer for at least 3 days.

first 3 days will be tough.
after that reboot will come in your control to some little extent.
then it will be on your brain , how to deal with life.
you may choose escape and bear the consequences.
you may choose reality and love your life.

Stupid mood swings had me down last weekend. I feel better today. And I feel more serious about not PMO'ing. Like it makes a lot of sense not to. Feeling strong. Good.

good.

I'm experiencing a flatline again, like when I first quit porn. It's good though. I don't feel the need to PMO.