Rewire alone?

gummianka

Active Member
Hi all.

reading up on all of this now with a frenzy that I wish i had back in school ;)

I get the whole reboot thing, and I am struggling with that now, but all talk about rewire confuses and scares me. Do all porn addicts have some sort of super-women that devolte their life to help them back to sex life? Do men with PIED go out and pick up women asking them to help them recover by having some sort of training sex with them? These stories make no sense at all to me.

So how to rewire alone? I sure as hell will not have some loving, understanding woman to help me, I need to do this on my own. So, is it enough to abstain from it all, and time will heal, or what is the story here?
 

Tomte

Active Member
Well, rewiring does not necessarily mean having sex. All kinds of real human intimacy are helpful; cuddling, hugging, kissing, just being close to someone you desire - it's all good!
You don't need to go out and pick up girls for training sex, but I truly believe you need another human being in order to rewire to human intimacy. In the end, that's why we are doing this reboot, right?
I sure as hell will not have some loving, understanding woman to help me -  why is that? I'm sure it is possible for you to find someone who is interested in you as a person, not just a ONS. Someone who would be willing to take things slow with you.
 

Ken

Member
I agree with him. I can't imagine anyone wanting to stick around with a guy that can't have sex. They just become bitter, resentful, and disillusioned with you. There's no such thing as loyalty anymore.
 

gummianka

Active Member
I can understand if you already have bonded with a partner, fine. But getting a new GF like this seems just silly. And apart from the massive difficulty of finding a girl that I actually want, and that want to be with me, what cruelty to invite her into my life now! It would be like using her simply to get over this addiction.

No, I will be doing this alone, and my question remains, is that even possible without a woman ro rewire with?
 

Tomte

Active Member
Fine, if you are dead set on this, I won't bother arguing.

Another way might be to rewire to physical sensation on your own, for example by giving yourself massages, strictly without fantasizing. In my language there are interesting books which focus on how to give yourself a spiritual lingam-massage for example.
I also read of some guys touching themselves, for example in the shower - not "touching yourself" like jerking of, but seriously touching, with focus on the sensation and without sexual fantasy or intention.

You might wanna look into that, but in the end I have no idea how you want to be sure your rewiring is successful without actually being with someone. You might still have everything working just fine when you are by yourself, and be dead meat when you are with somebody else.
 

gummianka

Active Member
Thanks for the comments.

No, I agree that eventually, the way to check if the goods work is of course to be with a woman. I am not expecting to reboot for a day, turn into a sex god and then have a raging hardon for 16 hours with the girl I pick up  ;)

But at least I should be somewhat normal, so I at least can have something resembling sex. And for me, now, the road there seems endless. I truly understand, that if I had a loving woman with me, this ride would be a lot easier, and i suppose I would also rewire TO HER in a much more efficient way, but now that that isn't the case, I am looking at all options to do this without female company.
 

Tomte

Active Member
Yeah, I get what you mean. ;)
I suppose even socialising and being around women or people in general might be beneficial. Withouth intentions and fantasies.

"Rewiring" is to break/weaken the connection to artificial stimulation and recondition yourself to real stimulation, physical sensation. And there is only to possibilities for physical sensation, either you touch yourself, or somebody else does. ;)
 

gummianka

Active Member
Thanks!

Hmm, I am waaaay to soon into this to start playing around with that, but perhaps it is something to look at later. I also think that the one month off seems to be a bit too short for me. But I would like to  see some other and more experiences rebooters then me comment on this
 
From what i can make out i fall into that category didnt you start your journey april 4th???
Your problem is that you're worried about re-wiring on your own and have more than likely been reading alot of posts made out by men in relationships/married etc right?
Well how about you put some time in first without thinking too far ahead?
You will have noticed browsing the site that after a while so many rebooters seem to find their confidence and become far more sociable and find themselves having conversations with complete strangers, women included!
I personally believe that you should see your current status as a blessing to help you along the way with your reboot, there are guys here going through hell trying to save marriages etc.
When you've got a few months under your belt see how you feel about things then.
The site i linked was just some food for thought, it's your journey you decide at the end of the day how you're going to nail it. 8)
 
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