Will I ever get hard again?

Hi let me introduce myself, i have also posted this in the over 40 section but feel it is also of relevance in here.

I am a 46 year old guy living in the UK. I was married for 20 years until a few years ago. I have two kids who are mid teens now.

I think I might have all the symptoms of PIED but not sure what is wrong with me. I cannot even get a hard-on these days with porn, well not most of the time. I was prescribed Viagra by the doc and initially it was great but even that is now not giving me an erection.

So this is how it all happened...
Sex with my wife was not exciting enough, we did it out of habit and probably with the kids being really young and she was not interested, so I turned to porn. This was probably 15 years ago - I used to have the odd mag before then but probably around 15 years ago with the internet and all this free porn available I became a regular user.

It started off with the regular stuff, anything would get me hard and I would masturbate to orgasm any opportunity I had when I was alone in the house. This became almost daily, always at least once a day sometimes 2-3 depending on the amount of time I had to be alone.

This continued, I watching harder and harder stuff as I needed to be more excited  - nothing dodgy or anything like that but just harder...

Anyway now I find unless I watch something new or different I am no longer being excited or stimulated. I think this is also how the Viagra does not work - if I am not being stimulated by anything, then the Viagra or any other form of these drugs will not work.

I would find myself masturbating to porn with a limp dick for 1-2 hours just to get an orgasm. Most times this would be with a limp dick, unless I used Viagra and then the orgasm would be more intense and my hard-on would only reach an acceptable level for penetration(if I was to be penetrating) on orgasm.

I have now realised this is now the time to stop, my marriage broke down and I am now living alone. I have met a woman I really really like online and we have exchanged messages, photos and videos and we both really like each other.

We both want to meet and I want to give her a full relationship which obviously will mean intercourse. l know that at the moment it is a lottery if I meet her that I will be able to perform, maybe I could pop a Viagra and hope that the excitement of this new sex will allow me to become stimulated enough, for the Viagra to work and achieve a boner hard enough for penetration... Who knows?

I've been to the doc over and over again. The last time was a few days ago and had more bloods etc taken.

I am feeling like a lost cause, I want my boner to function again, to be excited by the touch, to get morning wood again, to have a wet dream...

I last watched porn 7 days ago, I am determined never to watch another video again. My new girl sends me sexy messages and we do talk on the phone and masturbate (which I can become hard to initially but then the feeling is not good and I go limp) - does this also come under the 'porn'

I feel myself becoming excited when we talk and when I think of being with her but my dick just will not get hard...

So I am hoping that if I cut out all porn and masturbation, then in time I will recover...

If not I don't know what to do as the docs can't help and at 46 the thought of never being with another woman again is absolutely heartbreaking...

Im on my road to recovery and and have relapsed many times. Ive had several of the same experiences you describe. I tried viagra and it worked sometimes but would always give me a headache after sex. I believe my body built tolerance to it because it stopped working for me and I didnt want to keep taking it because of the side effects. Ive gone with a more natural approach recently. Im only in my 1st week and Ive been very tempted to resort to p because of withdrawls but Ive defo seen immediate results. Im waking up with boners, something I didnt get from before sleep sessions, Ive also been taking supplemants with asian ginseng root, sarsaparilla root, maca root and cardamom pod for system restoration. Regular stretching and exercise to help the blood flow. Im more than 10 years younger but I believe we will be able to restore our sex life back by the no fap and no pmo method. Stay strong buddy.

Thanks for your reply. I too have noticed the last couple of nights I have woken in the night with a hard-on and morning wood. I hope this is not a coincidence and a sign that things are improving. I know it will not happen overnight but hope that I continue to notice improvements. I am determined never to look at P again and will not M for the duration. I am absolutely determined to conquer this addiction.

I'm 36, I have no neural pathways to real women or sex (never had any intimacy or close relationship with anybody basically!) and I feel pretty much like you. I very much doubt I would ever be able to regain 100% consistent erections - too much damage has been done.

At least for you, I fully expect that you will heal as you have had previous experience (and therefore neural pathway exists) with women.

Good luck.

DepressedAndOut said:

I'm 36, I have no neural pathways to real women or sex (never had any intimacy or close relationship with anybody basically!) and I feel pretty much like you. I very much doubt I would ever be able to regain 100% consistent erections - too much damage has been done.

At least for you, I fully expect that you will heal as you have had previous experience (and therefore neural pathway exists) with women.

Good luck.

Click to expand...

What damage? What are you talking about? Neuroplasticity can be reversed.

scorpion1386 said:

DepressedAndOut said:

I'm 36, I have no neural pathways to real women or sex (never had any intimacy or close relationship with anybody basically!) and I feel pretty much like you. I very much doubt I would ever be able to regain 100% consistent erections - too much damage has been done.

At least for you, I fully expect that you will heal as you have had previous experience (and therefore neural pathway exists) with women.

Good luck.

Click to expand...

What damage? What are you talking about? Neuroplasticity can be reversed.

Click to expand...

Don't pin your hopes too much on that! It gets harder as you age. Probably from 26 onward. I'm 36 this year!

DepressedAndOut said:

scorpion1386 said:

DepressedAndOut said:

I'm 36, I have no neural pathways to real women or sex (never had any intimacy or close relationship with anybody basically!) and I feel pretty much like you. I very much doubt I would ever be able to regain 100% consistent erections - too much damage has been done.

At least for you, I fully expect that you will heal as you have had previous experience (and therefore neural pathway exists) with women.

Good luck.

Click to expand...

What damage? What are you talking about? Neuroplasticity can be reversed.

Click to expand...

Don't pin your hopes too much on that! It gets harder as you age. Probably from 26 onward. I'm 36 this year!

Click to expand...

There is hope, lol. I don?t know where you got your age limitations from.

I know there is hope. But realistically this could take years of rewiring to a girl. The odds that she won't hang around for too long. Couple that with the lowish chances of being with someone that you really like (as opposed to settling with someone), this is a recipe for disaster in terms of experiencing a satisfactory sexual life with a person you really like.