Low dopamine depression lasting too much

Guys, i have stopped porn for one entire year in the past.  After that, i just peak once in a while, rarelly actyally. Recently, I even worked for 4 months in a farm where i couldn't get any kind of stimulation be it on or offline. Very peaceful life. After that I have been avoiding excessive internet use for 4-5 months now.

Yet, pretty all symptons of a low dopamine depression are still here. I don't know what to do.

To be honest, the biggest problem is not even the quality of erections but rather energy and motivation for life. MY self-steem is extremely low and this is hurting me like nothing before. I never was the most hard working person out there, but i never been the laziest either, never stayed more than 8 hours in the bed before, yet nowadays going to/being in the bed is a good thing instead of facing the world.

I'm in my mid to late thirties. Can age affect recovery this much? I know that there are external factors that are affecting me, but then no motivation to fix them.

I'm avoiding going to doctors because i don't believe in them. They probably will give me some addicting pills that i want to avoid. Plus, i don't if they ever will understand someone is this situation, because most good (veteran) doctors came from a time where this kind of depression (low dopamine from too internet/stimulation) just didn't exist. Excluding drug addicts i mean. Oh,  and i actually fear sounding like a  total life loser to someone.


If someone is experiencing the same, i would be more than happy to ear your case. Any tips or ideas about this, would be very much appreciated.



(my apologies if i'm using the wrong forum to post this)

This is just my opinion, I am not a doctor, but I believe that we should not attribute all our problems to porn addiction/Internet addiction. There are others reasons for having low self-esteem, depression etc. Maybe you should try to look into what makes you feel like that and not think that your porn and internet sobriety doesn't work because it works. If you don't have a problem with porn and internet, this is great. I wish they were out of my life as well. What I want to add is: Don't go back to porn as a cope.

changemylife said:

This is just my opinion, I am not a doctor, but I believe that we should not attribute all our problems to porn addiction/Internet addiction. There are others reasons for having low self-esteem, depression etc. Maybe you should try to look into what makes you feel like that and not think that your porn and internet sobriety doesn't work because it works. If you don't have a problem with porn and internet, this is great. I wish they were out of my life as well. What I want to add is: Don't go back to porn as a cope.

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I agree with this. When we get obsessed with the Reboot process as being the solution to all our problems, we are missing the point. It's easy to miss the fact that a lot of people who are addicted to porn became addicted because they were attempting to medicate themselves with the dopamine rush from PMO. So it's not that being a porn addict will necessary cause depression, but it can mask depression to an extent. When stopping porn, the same problems exist that you had before, and you have the struggle of withdrawal symptoms and emotional anguish at being confronted with your real life situation. Being addicted to anything reduces your awareness of your problems, so it's predictable that somebody giving up an addiction will face some serious challenges.

To NovoElevation:  You need to have a good look at everything in your life independently of porn addiction. It sounds like you've done an excellent job at giving up porn, now comes the real challenge of sorting out your life.

Yeah, my addiction desensitized me to the point where I was almost completely numb to all kinds of positive emotions, and I had hypofrontality so bad I couldn't fuction - I could barely complete a thought and couldn't focus on anything if my life depended on it.

Aside from quitting porn, there are two things I would recommend:
-Limiting internet, videogames, and smartphone use, as these things can aggravate desensitization and hypofrontality. You say you've been doing this already, which is good.

Focus meditation, which will rebuild any fragmented attention you might have.

but rather energy and motivation for life

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Some people may scoff at this as a result of addiction, but it's actually the foremost symptom. One thing you can do is travel. Traveling has actually been shown to increase d2 receptors, because the healthy novelty stimulates the brain in a certain way.

Some relevant YBOP articles:
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybop-articles-on-porn-addiction-porn-induced-problems/effects-of-porn-on-the-user/quitting-porn-prepare-for-more-vibrant-emotions-2013/
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/is-porn-making-my-social-anxiety-confidence-depression-anxiety-ocd-bipolar-worse/

Research on dopamine and depression:
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/dopamine-depression/
"Many individuals who reboot report more motivation, increased energy, better moods, and occasionally remission of clinical depression. Recent research reveals that the reward circuit dopamine is a major player in mood disorders."

I'm in my mid to late thirties. Can age affect recovery this much? I know that there are external factors that are affecting me, but then no motivation to fix them.

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I believe how young you started high speed internet porn has more of an effect than how old you currently are. Depending on how old you are specifically you probably didn't have access to high speed internet before you were 20, in which case recovery should actually be fairly fast because the neural circuits associated with addiction are not as ingrained as someone who started from a very young age (like me, I watched from age 11 to 22, so my entire period of sexual development was wired deeply to porn, and it took a lot of time and effort to recondition these changes.) But if you started later it might be easier.

You guys are right, i do have underlying life  issues. After giving it some thought, i really can't blame the internet for all problems i have.

And i am also visiting porn sites more often these days.... Thing is i don't even jerk off, just watch for the novelty thing.

malando said:

To NovoElevation:  You need to have a good look at everything in your life independently of porn addiction. It sounds like you've done an excellent job at giving up porn, now comes the real challenge of sorting out your life.

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The funny thing was that, porn was actually trivial to quit. YBOP made such an impact on me, that was pretty easy. I had the peak month experience, where everything gets better, but then i returned to same state even tough  i wasn't watching porn at all.

Finw? said:

Focus meditation, which will rebuild any fragmented attention you might have.

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Can meditation help with desensitization? Making us more sensitive to  (good) external stimulation instead of being numb? As meditation is supposed to us feel more alive due to increase in perceived life moments. Shinzen Young says, while a normal person is just half alive, a meditator is either full alive or full dead. Can this aliveness brought by meditation, also bring more excitement?

Finw?, yes i felt better after quitting porn for one month,  i had most of the experiences detailed on those links. But like i said above, i returned to the same state. I think the reason is actually "other stuff" going on indeed.

I was addicted to porn before high speed internet. Pics still loaded more or less quickly on dialup, the problem is that, the pics triggered fantasies which IMHO, can be worse than porn itself. Fantasies are always available. Always ready to make our heart beat fast.

Do you still MO, M in any way or watch imagery that are not porn exactly porn but still arousing/sexy? Because that will keep the brain pathways strong. We have to cut everything.

First of all, congratulations on a porn-free year. I hope to achieve this goal someday. Second, depending on how long you were a user, your brain could take a considerable amount of time to realign itself to its natural state. It could be years before you fully recover. It could possibly be your brain missing the high of dopamine, but it also sounds to me like this could be depression-related. Porn addiction can make mental illnesses worse. My anxiety and OCD have gone through the roof since I started using. I actually suffered breakdowns a few times. The fact that you've begun using again might have something to do with it, or you could just be suffering from unrelated depression. My advice would be to go to a doctor or psychologist and see what's up. Don't be afraid of medication. It helps rebalance the chemicals in your head to help fix what ails you. And above all else, stop using porn. Don't look at it, don't think about it, and certainly don't masturbate to it. Remember: Nothing good ever comes of porn use.

yesyes1234 said:

Do you still MO, M in any way or watch imagery that are not porn exactly porn but still arousing/sexy? Because that will keep the brain pathways strong. We have to cut everything.

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Unfortunately yes, not that much, but stilll.. But mostly from fantasies or pics. No machine gun clicking in porn sites for many years now.

However, i do think fantasies *might* be worse than porn in some way. And doing it with pics or real women that you might later be with, can be a reality shock because they never are the way you imagined to be. Not that they are better or worse in real life, but just different and  that can cause problems i think. A expectations VS reality thing.

But yes, gotta stay away from whatever is causing me this. Better visit some pros when the desire arises. Sure, it's horrible because no true feelings, but well, at least they are real, yeah?... I can have "normal" girls, but i'm afraid of the embarrassment.

I guess i'm stuck on excitement from the mind instead of senses.

WoundedSparrow said:

First of all, congratulations on a porn-free year. I hope to achieve this goal someday. Second, depending on how long you were a user, your brain could take a considerable amount of time to realign itself to its natural state. It could be years before you fully recover. It could possibly be your brain missing the high of dopamine, but it also sounds to me like this could be depression-related. Porn addiction can make mental illnesses worse. My anxiety and OCD have gone through the roof since I started using. I actually suffered breakdowns a few times. The fact that you've begun using again might have something to do with it, or you could just be suffering from unrelated depression. My advice would be to go to a doctor or psychologist and see what's up. Don't be afraid of medication. It helps rebalance the chemicals in your head to help fix what ails you. And above all else, stop using porn. Don't look at it, don't think about it, and certainly don't masturbate to it. Remember: Nothing good ever comes of porn use.

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Well, i do fear the medications. No doubt they can fix stuff, but what about after? They will be difficult to quit using and then, one can regress in effect. So what's the point? Temporarily happiness?

Unfortunately yes, not that much, but stilll.. But mostly from fantasies or pics.

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Yeah, this is definitely the problem. Especially looking at pics, I would say. When we intentionally look up or consume arousing material our p-addiction pathways get activivated right away. It is almost like a relapse, unfortunately.

Hope you move past it