I think I am addicted to porn and masturbation. The reason why is I use it as a tension and stress relief. Sex with my wife has become none existing (I cannot get an erection anymore). I feel truly guilty about it. I started buying porn magazine when I was in my teen-ages. At that time it seemed quit innocent. Although it was quit explicit sex for a young boy I remember. My fascination for sex at that time was quit normal for a young boy. But gradually it became a tension and stress reliever for me. When I felt stressed I masturbated to become relax again (for a short time . Also because I was very uncertain about myself (had been bullied quit a lot, had a lot of acne, was extremely shy towards women/girls) this was my way to have sex.
When I met my current wife we had great sex for about two years. But still I started looking at porn again during the night while my wife was sleeping more and more since than. I kept using it as a stress reliever too. I never saw it as a great problem. I only felt very guilty when I had done it. But I had created a 'cleansing' ritual. Afterwards I always took a shower to wash away the guilt so to say.
Recently (two years ago) I got depressed very seriously. During that time I was very occupied with myself. I looked at my flaws all the time. During that time I also started to realize that my masturbation and porn habits were not normal either. I still use it to escape my depressed moments and to counter my stress and anxiety. But through that sex has lost all its meaning to me. The intimate moment you have with your partner. The excitement of having sex with each other. All gone. Now when I watch porn I can get an erection quit easily. When I have sex with my wife I cannot get an erection at all. This frustrates me a lot. Somehow sex has lost all its meaning to me. So I want to stop this behavior starting today.
I already started a few weeks ago but I still fall back every few days. Also today. That's why I joined this forum to give me some kind of support to hang in.
When I met my current wife we had great sex for about two years. But still I started looking at porn again during the night while my wife was sleeping more and more since than. I kept using it as a stress reliever too. I never saw it as a great problem. I only felt very guilty when I had done it. But I had created a 'cleansing' ritual. Afterwards I always took a shower to wash away the guilt so to say.
Recently (two years ago) I got depressed very seriously. During that time I was very occupied with myself. I looked at my flaws all the time. During that time I also started to realize that my masturbation and porn habits were not normal either. I still use it to escape my depressed moments and to counter my stress and anxiety. But through that sex has lost all its meaning to me. The intimate moment you have with your partner. The excitement of having sex with each other. All gone. Now when I watch porn I can get an erection quit easily. When I have sex with my wife I cannot get an erection at all. This frustrates me a lot. Somehow sex has lost all its meaning to me. So I want to stop this behavior starting today.
I already started a few weeks ago but I still fall back every few days. Also today. That's why I joined this forum to give me some kind of support to hang in.