I really need help urgently, my life is on the line

Hello guys am 19 year old.i started watching porn at the age of 13 by accident..I was going through my brother phone when I first saw porn, and instantly I became excited that every night I will wait for my brother to fall asleep so I can go back to my favorite porn and watch 30 min to 1 hr through that night..and this happened throughout, to early 17 that it became my daily routine. At age 17 I started using my personal phone and I became hooked and addicted to porn that I started watching 5 to 7 porn daily..and after some months masturbation came along...and this have really messed up my life...I came across Gabe deems video that was when I knew pmo was really a problem for me...I tried masturbating without porn even using fantasy but of no use..that was when I decided to start my nofab journey..my longest streak is 2 weeks and everytime I go back to my bad habit I really feel sad and wanting to end my life..and sometimes swear to GOD that I won't pmo again that if I did he  should end my life, but still d urge increase everyday...I have lots of motivational video just to keep my mind straight, but after a week or two, I will fall back again...I feel ashamed that when I pmo I can't face my family it's as if am betraying them...and now age 19 still pmoing, I really need help guys, even after knowing how bad it is and how it has ruined lots of peoples life and relationship, I just can't bring myself to stop.
Yesterday I was really horny and it was as if the devil was beside me , pushing me to watch porn and I lost control of myself and relapse, I really feel useless and have no future..m starting another streak today, and I pray and hope today will be d last day..

Hey buddy,
      First of all, stop feeling disgusted about yourself. You are wonderful. You getting the porn addiction was not your mistake, it was the curiosity of a child's mind that landed you in this. But now that you have realised that it is harming you, getting rid of this is also your responsibility, and we are always with you in this. You are NOT alone. My story is Exactly the same as yours. I was also making attempts since years to get rid of this addiction but I would always fall back. But this time I decided to defeat this evil and now I am on 44th day of my reboot and I can see that complete recovery is very near.

The first thing that you need to do is educate yourself on the harms of porn. I would recommend the site ' fight the new drug' from where I learnt about the harms. There are many articles and documentaries which will help you. Also download the app 'Fortify'. It will guide you how exactly you can recover step by step.It has given me great help in my recovery. Don't try to fight this alone. Connect with others in Fortify and Reboot nation. It would be best if you share this with a family member or friend too. We are always with you!

Most importantly, you should have a concrete reason in your mind why you need to stop this habit. Because porn addiction is exactly the same as any other addiction. Stopping it causes severe withdrawal symptoms which are very unpleasant. So you should have something in your mind for which you need to fight, for which you are willing to bear these ugly withdrawal symptoms, bear all pains, for which you are willing to give WHATEVER IT TAKES. For instance, I am fighting for my family.This fight IS gonna be difficult, but together we can do it!!! Because what we are fight for is worth all this struggle.

I want you to keep posting your progress here on a daily basis. Whenever you get an urge, share with us, share with anyone and read an article or watch an expert interview on the harms of porn. You will get motivated to fight. First few days will be difficult but then withdrawals will go away and it will be easier. So be patient.
ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR RECOVERY.

Thanks bro for your advice, today marks the 3rd day of my nofab journey and am really looking forward to a free porn life

Day 8 on nofab journey, which is also the beginning of week 2, I must say week 1 was very hard  and no matter how worst week 2 maybe ,I will push through the withdrawal

Good going buddy! Keep it up!

Day 15, beginning of my week 3 on nofab/no pmo journey, week 2 was like hell.. when I was going through Facebook I mistakenly saw porn picture, at first I paused still looking at the porn picture ,I couldn't think straight and this made me feel uncomfortable, and I was having heavy urge to watch porn..to cut long story short I didn't cause I Know what I am fighting for, which is freedom from pmo...so guys wish me luck on week 3

Good luck bro! Stay strong and fight!!!

I had wet dream today, where I ejaculated during sleep. But am still fighting and looking forward for a porn free life

Help relapsed, after 18 days streak I can't believe I pmo today.."what's the use of fighting a war u can't win"

Keep it up man, it's worth it.

Think of who you want to be and where you want to be in five years. Write it down. Pin it to the wall near your bed. Set it as the desktop background.

I really really recommend installing some porn-blocking software on your computer and disabling your phone's internet browser.

What's the use in fighting a war you cannot win right now? Winning a little bit in the future with the lessons you learn!

18 days is a really good streak man. DONOT GIVE UP! Get up again and fight! We need to learn from every relapse and not repeat that mistake again. I want you to write in your next post the mistake that you think you did that caused this relapse, so that we can overcome it. We can win every war if we observe and correct our mistakes. And for that we need to get up and fight! All the Best!!!

I was triggered by Facebook when I saw nude picture and short porn clip..my mistake was logging in on Facebook at the wrong time, infact am thinking of deleting all social media on my phone

Ezenro said:

I was triggered by Facebook when I saw nude picture and short porn clip..my mistake was logging in on Facebook at the wrong time, infact am thinking of deleting all social media on my phone

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That would be an excellent idea. Using the computer and phone only when needed saves you from a lot of triggers.

Ezenro said:

infact am thinking of deleting all social media on my phone

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This is the first thing that you should do. I have noticed that I haven't relapsed since I deleted all my social media from my phone. Please delete all social media. It is the greatest trigger.

Just completed week 1 of nofab...And this time it's do or die, sink or swim...I don't care where the withdraws are coming from, am gonna face and fight them

That's the spirit! Keep going! We are far stronger than these withdrawals. Lets fight!