TJRL
Member
I am 30 minutes porn free. Fell asleep several times in logging on here despite a good night sleep. Sunday morning, 9:30 AM. Beat off twice this morning. Three times yesterday. My norm is 3 times per day, or maybe even more. I am gifted that way. Porn is nice, but don't need it. My imagination is good for the first one, maybe two. Then need the visual stimulation.
My life would be perfect if it weren't such a mess. The perfect part of my life is in my imagination and between the sheets. I pride myself on getting up at 5 AM. Then I beat off for an hour, maybe more. Takes a while at my age. Now, 4 and a half hours later I am here. Over four hours today wasted. My finances are a mess. I am overweight. My head aches. I am depressed. Yet I found time to beat off twice.
In the last month have gone 1 week 3 times, but eventually started wanking again. Actually, porn is not necessary for me right away. After a couple of days, I am horny as hell and can get off quickly without it. One of the reasons I fail after a week is that I start playing with myself right away, just stop before I cum. Of course I keep pushing the envelope and eventually release happens..
Porn is not necessary for me for the first one or two, I need it to get off the second third or fourth. Still, hours are wasted doing it and hours more are wasted from the after effects. Then drink coffee with little effect. If I get 5 productive hours a day from myself, that is a good day. Often start working and fall asleep in the middle.
I am here because I am tired of my life. I am tired of setting goals and accomplishing 10-15%. I am tired of disappointing myself, my family and my friends. I am tired of my hand being the most desirable thing in my life. Mmmm, would it look good in a string bikini? Should I put lipstick on it? Or mini stockings on my fingers? FUBAR.
When I read about sex addiction being like cocaine, I believe it. I am every bit an addict as any substance abuser. I hate my life. I needed somewhere to say this, and here is the place.
Thank you for being here. I need to start hanging with the winners to get beyond this.
My life would be perfect if it weren't such a mess. The perfect part of my life is in my imagination and between the sheets. I pride myself on getting up at 5 AM. Then I beat off for an hour, maybe more. Takes a while at my age. Now, 4 and a half hours later I am here. Over four hours today wasted. My finances are a mess. I am overweight. My head aches. I am depressed. Yet I found time to beat off twice.
In the last month have gone 1 week 3 times, but eventually started wanking again. Actually, porn is not necessary for me right away. After a couple of days, I am horny as hell and can get off quickly without it. One of the reasons I fail after a week is that I start playing with myself right away, just stop before I cum. Of course I keep pushing the envelope and eventually release happens..
Porn is not necessary for me for the first one or two, I need it to get off the second third or fourth. Still, hours are wasted doing it and hours more are wasted from the after effects. Then drink coffee with little effect. If I get 5 productive hours a day from myself, that is a good day. Often start working and fall asleep in the middle.
I am here because I am tired of my life. I am tired of setting goals and accomplishing 10-15%. I am tired of disappointing myself, my family and my friends. I am tired of my hand being the most desirable thing in my life. Mmmm, would it look good in a string bikini? Should I put lipstick on it? Or mini stockings on my fingers? FUBAR.
When I read about sex addiction being like cocaine, I believe it. I am every bit an addict as any substance abuser. I hate my life. I needed somewhere to say this, and here is the place.
Thank you for being here. I need to start hanging with the winners to get beyond this.