GoonerGone
Member
After several half hearted attempts at rebooting in recent years I'm resolving to now do this for good. I have a great boyfriend who deserves better.
So, my story... **WARNING TRIGGERS*
Hello all. I'm a newbie to this big, wide world of No-Fapping and thought I'd share my situation of experiencing all of this as a gay man. I know there are other gay rebooters out there from other posts I?ve read but there are a few things - from my experience at least - that makes approaching all of this from a gay perspective slightly unique.
I hope everyone whether gay or straight finds my story/thoughts interesting and if not please have sympathy - creating this post is giving me something to do in my early moments of NoFap! For similar reasons I apologise if the post is too long.
My Story
OK. So I?ve known I probably knew I was gay since puberty struck and started fapping aged 12 onwards. Sometimes I made myself think of girls but predominantly it was men. Because I?m now 41, my initial material was whatever gentle stuff my imagination could come up with and whatever crude porn I could find. Onwards went the masturbation in a generally regular, healthy way. I had a very active imagination but I think everything was on a fairly tame level.
I was aged 22-ish when OK access to the Internet arrived in my rural community and again all was fairly normal and routine - I remember scrolling through galleries showing ?The Beauty of Men?, some naked, but all under the pretence of being art. Because I was gay but not out and not living around other gay men I hadn?t had any real life sexual experiences. I was gay, lacking in confidence and experience and introverted - go me!
It probably wasn?t until I was 25, had came out, and was living alone in a city that I fully blossomed for good and for bad. I had the time, the space and the high-speed internet to let it all go full throttle. I moved to a different city, but this situation continued for the next 10 years. Constantly exploring my sexuality and ramping up my porn use and what porn I was into. Real life dating and sexual encounters started happening a lot more too. It is here where I want to mention /question the nuance that I think being gay and having this problem can bring to the party?
Can gay men easily make fantasy a reality?
This may be controversial and I might be completely off the mark as I can say I?m not familiar with the experiences of straight guys, but it seems that for a gay man fantasy and reality are blurred. Grindr, Scruff and whatever apps you like (there seems to be one for every fetish imaginable) offer a smorgasbord of men to meet up with and experiment with.
So the situation can go like this - Get bored with watching one particular kind of porn, think of another. Watch videos and tumblrs about the new porn/fetish. Chat to real guys on the myriad of apps and chat rooms who engage actively with talking about that topic. Arrange to meet guys with the same interests. Have one round your house within minutes. So you end up with real life experiences mimicking the readiness and accessibility of porn. Whether that be real life/real time chat or actually meeting guys in real life. Gay men are the same as all men with high sex drives but they don?t put up barriers. It?s all there and instantly available. In London there is probably a club in Vauxhall for whatever you?re into too.
Because it was still porn that ultimately fuelled me, Edging was a big fetish of mine. And there are whole online communities into edging - talking about the art of the bate together, showing off together, ?Gooning? together. And all of that is available instantly in real life too. Want a lad to sit next to you jerking off? No problem, he?ll be around in a few minutes.
My point is that i don?t think the same is true for straight guys. I know there are equivalent apps etc, but my impression is that it just isn?t ?on tap? as much.
Anyway, this whole porn/real life fantasy fulfilment addiction has become too much for me. As well as ED, it?s triggered other problems for me such as anxiety and a massive agitation of OCD symptoms (which I?ve known deep down I?ve had for years). So this past couple of weeks the penny dropped and I decided that here is where I start. NoFapping begins now and hopefully helps me to become a better man.
I will still be O-ing with bf when I can but no PM.
So, my story... **WARNING TRIGGERS*
Hello all. I'm a newbie to this big, wide world of No-Fapping and thought I'd share my situation of experiencing all of this as a gay man. I know there are other gay rebooters out there from other posts I?ve read but there are a few things - from my experience at least - that makes approaching all of this from a gay perspective slightly unique.
I hope everyone whether gay or straight finds my story/thoughts interesting and if not please have sympathy - creating this post is giving me something to do in my early moments of NoFap! For similar reasons I apologise if the post is too long.
My Story
OK. So I?ve known I probably knew I was gay since puberty struck and started fapping aged 12 onwards. Sometimes I made myself think of girls but predominantly it was men. Because I?m now 41, my initial material was whatever gentle stuff my imagination could come up with and whatever crude porn I could find. Onwards went the masturbation in a generally regular, healthy way. I had a very active imagination but I think everything was on a fairly tame level.
I was aged 22-ish when OK access to the Internet arrived in my rural community and again all was fairly normal and routine - I remember scrolling through galleries showing ?The Beauty of Men?, some naked, but all under the pretence of being art. Because I was gay but not out and not living around other gay men I hadn?t had any real life sexual experiences. I was gay, lacking in confidence and experience and introverted - go me!
It probably wasn?t until I was 25, had came out, and was living alone in a city that I fully blossomed for good and for bad. I had the time, the space and the high-speed internet to let it all go full throttle. I moved to a different city, but this situation continued for the next 10 years. Constantly exploring my sexuality and ramping up my porn use and what porn I was into. Real life dating and sexual encounters started happening a lot more too. It is here where I want to mention /question the nuance that I think being gay and having this problem can bring to the party?
Can gay men easily make fantasy a reality?
This may be controversial and I might be completely off the mark as I can say I?m not familiar with the experiences of straight guys, but it seems that for a gay man fantasy and reality are blurred. Grindr, Scruff and whatever apps you like (there seems to be one for every fetish imaginable) offer a smorgasbord of men to meet up with and experiment with.
So the situation can go like this - Get bored with watching one particular kind of porn, think of another. Watch videos and tumblrs about the new porn/fetish. Chat to real guys on the myriad of apps and chat rooms who engage actively with talking about that topic. Arrange to meet guys with the same interests. Have one round your house within minutes. So you end up with real life experiences mimicking the readiness and accessibility of porn. Whether that be real life/real time chat or actually meeting guys in real life. Gay men are the same as all men with high sex drives but they don?t put up barriers. It?s all there and instantly available. In London there is probably a club in Vauxhall for whatever you?re into too.
Because it was still porn that ultimately fuelled me, Edging was a big fetish of mine. And there are whole online communities into edging - talking about the art of the bate together, showing off together, ?Gooning? together. And all of that is available instantly in real life too. Want a lad to sit next to you jerking off? No problem, he?ll be around in a few minutes.
My point is that i don?t think the same is true for straight guys. I know there are equivalent apps etc, but my impression is that it just isn?t ?on tap? as much.
Anyway, this whole porn/real life fantasy fulfilment addiction has become too much for me. As well as ED, it?s triggered other problems for me such as anxiety and a massive agitation of OCD symptoms (which I?ve known deep down I?ve had for years). So this past couple of weeks the penny dropped and I decided that here is where I start. NoFapping begins now and hopefully helps me to become a better man.
I will still be O-ing with bf when I can but no PM.
