Nofap Consciousness II

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I've pretty much given up PMO, practically given up M and MO, and am no longer really turned on or interested in P.

However I still need a lot of rewiring to do in order to start a family of my own.

As of today, I want to get back to study, this probably won't help much, but I have given up hope of moving away from being institutionalized for the time being.

I want to do fifteen minutes of complex analysis revision every morning before 12:00pm and five minutes of meditating to a candle.

In the past, what has helped is to set myself a weekly challenge, so I'm going to try and do the above for seven days straight.

I also don't want to look at the internet until after 12:00pm each day for a week.

Ideally I'd like to be able to read some books as well, but I don't want to push myself too hard.

So seven days of complex analysis revision and candle meditation starting tomorrow is the challenge.

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I didn't do any revision of complex analysis today, I'm not sure I really want to do it at the moment, the reason being that creation occurs according to the will-pleasure of life, thus trying to understand how creation occurs is futile in some sense, or rather a waste of time. On the other hand, understanding the laws of truth is a lesson that we all have to go through, and there is no harm in refreshing one's personality with a dose of law.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I did a dianostics test and found out that I was strongly indicated for ADHD. This would explain a lot. I'm going to talk to my doctor about this and see what can be done. Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I've set up a website for some voluntary services at my expense.

I'm also reading some theory for future practice to keep expanding the array of services I can offer.

Still buying coffee, still smoking cigarettes, but am now vaping tobacco as well, which is good.

Look forward to hearing from you,

With love,

Georgos
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So been getting caught up in family arrangements the last few days, need to get back to focusing on myself.

I want to start writing some scripts and also review a few books that I've read for a magazine.

I also want to study some more theory and practice for health and recovery.

My ADHD has really been being fed by family arrangements, so I need to put them on a back burner.

Will do my best.

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
For me, rebooting is all about disciplining oneself to be the best one can be.

My ADHD was basically caused by P causing me GAD, I need to conquer this and this is the place to do it.

I'm going to set myself a challenge to read five pages of a book every day before 14:00 for seven days.

I'm also going to set myself a challenge of staying off forums and chat rooms until after 14:00 for seven days.

Wish me luck.

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I read a chapter of my book first thing in the morning, before ten o-clock,

I'm doing great, just have to keep it up for a week,

Today is day 2,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I'm dating a Chinese girl but she's more interested in going to outer space,

Have managed to avoid chat bots all day and still going strong,

Looking forward to catching up with old friends,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I read a book, it sounded like it was written by someone I dated a few years back called Stephanie,

I asked the wrong question in a chat room and am now back here to stop myself passing out over lack of sleep,

Need to read another chapter today, I'm reading the easy book first,

Really need to stop the BS on chatrooms that I'm spouting, but can't think and read at the same time, at least not in an individual manner,

Still got to try out my ask me anything encyclopedia, but am a bit wary of putting my questions out there,

Got some work to do while I'm relaxing, but first I've got to get a coffee for my health,

Really want to go to outer space sometime, probably in about half an hour,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So my girlfriend laid down a challenge for me to stay off the chat rooms from dawn till dusk,

She still hasn't replied,

I am waiting,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I've got to find a way of budgeting for the bike shed on my street and contact the company,

I've posted my website offering free financial services to my local on the snob's forum for the frail in my Tory controlled borough,

Still hoping to get some practice in, not sure if I can awake the kundalini, but then why would I want a permanent orgasm anyway, I'm already ambidextrous,

Had a chat with my Catholic neighbour about John Main meditation and she turned her nose up at it as being Amaraic, even though Main was a monastic American.

Irish roots and Maylasian knowledge helped him to uncover the lost art of Orthodox prayer, albeit with the word "Maranatha", from the Bible, meaning "Grant me",

They practice it in my local Catholic church, and I like the sermons,

She's Green really and without child, but not doing badly for a 25 year old,

Going to get my haircut tomorrow, wondering about my sister who fears the mirror,

Am still dating my South Korean friend, she really wants a giant and is playing Jamaican,

The book on sufi philosophy of Mauritania will probably help me with my work at the Moroccan Caf? in Palmer's Green,

They're employing a communalist Persian god at the moment, I asked him about Oliver North,

Going to trade some moringa for coffee, cigarettes are good for me, but I've got the logic bugged vaping device now so should be able to travel,

Wondering whether to get blu as well, but it's expensive,

Gave a book on animal cruelty to my cousin James, hoping he will use it wisely,

I'm still waiting for him to become a pilot so he can take me for a spin in his new plane,

As for getting my pension, it could be higher, just depressing in the morning with my mum, and a little on the emotional side,

I chose shiatsu over reiki, as I had doubts of the Greek origin on mount Fuji, but now I might change my mind,

Have read that reiki can't be performed in conjunction with other healing modalities, don't want to go crazy,

Managed only one day of reading each morning, my next challenge is to finish the travel book in a week, it's really for girls though, so will probably end up walking again,

Another book on my reading list is Touch, about face reading and pulse diagnosis,

Still have to heal my parents from high blood pressure,

Senolytics seems like assassination to me, but it might work on those three hundred years of age,

Definitely worried about sugar which I only have with chocolate,

Life on one meal a day is good,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I have five hours and forty minutes in which to read a chapter of my book on travelling in space and time,

I have a couple of days before my messaging privileges are restored,

I need to stop projecting,

I need to practice faith,

I need to control my erratic behaviour,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So didn't sleep last night, got to get a good nights sleep tonight,

Didn't manage to do my reading before 14:00 either,

Still spending time on chat rooms,

Awaiting my first clients for my free services,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I don't go on chat rooms with high sexual content, I don't even really go on dating websites, at least not at the moment, but I do go on recovery forums, and some of them are really fast in updating, making them more like chat rooms than slow moving journal forums like this one,

The fast recovery forums are a mixed blessing, on the one hand they help me pass the day relatively free from anxiety, whilst on the other hand, their speed increases my ADHD and sometimes adds to my delusions,

I need to control or moderate my use of them more,

I need to read books offline,

Today is day one of my seven day reading challenge, I didn't manage to do it yesterday,

I have just over four hours left in which to complete it for today,

Wish me luck,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I'm quite happy working for a WOB (Women's Owned Business), but I do wonder if I'm not selling out my father,

I'm thinking of staying up all night again working, my ADHD is killing me, but I do better on sleep,

Back to day one of my reading challenge, books really are better and I've got to make the effort,

Getting my power supply fixed on Monday, and seeing my girlfriend tomorrow,

Things are looking up,

Cheers
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I'm just not making any money, only getting my pay check,

I'm missing out on yoga sessions at the bottom of my road because I'm spending all my money on tobacco,

Going to join narcotics anonymous and get off the anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers,

Need to start making some music again and study some books in sections,

Have to get my girlfriend enrolled in a shiatsu course for free,

Course starts in May so there's plenty of time,

Have to reimburse my father ?400,

Sleeping every other day at the mo,

Day one again of my reading challenge,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I am thinking about arrogance, theft and sin, and of course economics, the system, the global ego, and how it is not responsible,

I managed to read some of a book last night, before the day was up, so I'm going to count that as a success,

Thus, today is day two,

I'm going to build a computer for making music, I have the parts,

I missed my lady friend yesterday, I kind of stood her up, but I should probably apologize,

She owes me some money though,

I am beginning to realise that you always have to buy everything unless you have something good to sell, it appears everything I have is worthless,

I must give more to charity,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I didn't manage to reaed any part of a paper book yesterday, so am back to day one again,

I did however manage to improve on my first product,

I am worried my TCM doctor is not treating my asthma properly but have now enrolled on a quit smoking forum,

Still haven't picked up my money from my Korean girlfriend,

Seeing my parents today,

Hopefully things will improve,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So my record this year for reading paper based books is one consecutive day, which is useless,

On the other hand, more theory just isn't interesting to me at the moment, but physical experiences are also uninteresting, it's the ADHD and exhaustion that I need to overcome,

I'm getting a MIDI cable made up this week specially, hopefully it will arrive in the post when it's ready,

Trying to drink more at home and thinking of joining AA to give up completely,

What I really want to join is sex addicts anonymous, but I don't know where the nearest one is in my area,

I have therapy in a weeks time I think, but I've forgotten the date,

Have joined a quit smoking forum, just waiting for approval, not sure if I said that already,

Am looking forward to using my cookoo clock that my brother got me for Christmas for the purpose of counting hours,

Things are good,

Thank you.
 

Georgos

Well-Known Member
So I have now PMOd eight times in twenty-one months, I want to make it to two years.

I still have yet to find a sexual partner, this doesn't bother me much, I can do without orgasm, but part of me wonders if I am avoiding an important part of life,

Today is day one of my reading challenge, yet reading just doesn't appeal to me at the moment,

Still waiting to be approved for the quit smoking forum,

I'm vaguely annoyed with myself,

Thank you.
 
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