Author Topic: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation  (Read 594 times)

Bat_man92

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Hello Everyone,

I am 26 years old.I discovered Porn at the age of 16 and started masturbating when i was in 8th standard.I was masturbating compulsively which leads to very poor grades and social anxiety.It was a downfall from here on.I took admission in a not so well known college which was away from my parent's house and got myself an apartment.It leads to aggressively watching Porn and masturbation to the point that i felt numb.After coming back to town after finishing college in 2013 ,i discovered about the side effects of porn and from that point of time i decided to overcome it but relapsed again and again.In the end of 2015,i got into college for 1 year professional course and met a girl.She rejected me harshly and it effected me badly.I fell into the deep depression.Plus i was watching hardcore porn.I completely lost control over myself.Soon after i visited a red light area and had protected sex with 2 prostitutes.This further drove me in the deep depression and made me scared that i might have caught some STD.Reports came out that i am STD free.It was a big relief but extremely painful and scary time that i have gone through.Now,I am on this journey to reboot myself and want to give all my efforts to eradicate these addictions.I Will really need your support in kicking this addiction.
Thank you.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2018, 06:25:29 AM by Bat_man92 »

TheRealProof

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2018, 09:24:41 AM »
Hi bro.. ive read through your post and we are kinda similar . what with age (am about to turn 25) and the prostitute thing. Welcome to this forum. We will surely do this. if you need someone to push through with, am available. just pm
Goodluck
Remind me of who i was and why i will not go back

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2018, 03:29:46 AM »
Thank you!

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2018, 10:31:24 AM »
I have made some changes in last 4 days.I have started going to the gym(feeling great) and cooking at home.Past week,i got busy with work and got together with a friend.I got no time to think about porn.My mind is tricking me that i am completely recovered just because i am feeling good.This thing has happened many times in the past which leads to getting involved in slipary behaviors and then relapse all of a sudden.All progress gone.I also did not felt like writing the journal as my mind is making me believe that i am recovered.I had also installed brainbuddy app tho did not completed all the exercises with full dedication and even skipped few days.Some slippary behaviours i was involved in the past few days:-Telling a comic porn story to a friend  that i watched before i started this journey.I believe that these kind of things trigger the same receptors in the brain as the porn does. 2.Watched Californication season 1 episode 1 (lot of nudes scenes) but love this show.I am learning alot from his character in the show. 3.Stopped visiting sites like yourbrainonporn or these journals because my mind was tricking that i am recovered and i don't need all of that anymore.Changes I am going to make this week:Stop telling porn stories to friend. 2.Visiting this forum on regular basis. 3.Complete all the exercises in brainbuddy app with complete dedication.Any suggestions will be welcome.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2018, 10:48:25 AM by Bat_man92 »

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2018, 10:46:05 AM »
I have also started taking fish oil capsules and multivitamin to help me with recovery.The another addiction that is ruining my life is internet addiction.I am using it till my brain fries out.Please guide if you have overcome this addiction as well.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2018, 08:52:51 PM »
i woke up 2 hours ago while i am writing this.Read 2 posts on yourbrainporn submitted by Users sharing their experiences.Took shower and had a sexual fantasy.after 55 seconds of indulging in fantasy,i quickly distracted my mind.I just got one more fantasy while writing this.Now planning on going out for a walk.It is Sunday today and i am gonna read a book called "Bored and Brilliant" which is about internet and smartphone addiction which is another addiction that is effecting my life in big ways.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2018, 10:17:43 PM by Bat_man92 »

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2018, 05:55:08 AM »
So went to a small park in the morning for walking .After coming home,i started reading the bored and brilliant book but i fall asleep in 5-6 minutes.I guess that's the price you pay when when your brain is addicted to internet and porn.Have hardly read any book completely in past 2 years.Woke up and started to search for a book but then the surfing continued upto 2 hours which made me really stressed out and easy prey to porn addiction.But went outside for lunch and ate food really quickly(while eating food i got a feeling that i have done nothing in my life while my friends are in such a nice place .I am stuck in a small town.This made me anxious and started galloping food instead of eating in a relax manner and chewing the food.).Still bit stressed but i hope it will go away. 
« Last Edit: June 10, 2018, 05:56:48 AM by Bat_man92 »

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2018, 09:27:10 AM »
woke up in the morning and was really stressed about my internet addiction.Went to the gym and had breakfast of egg white.Left for the office and had great time there.Planning on cooking food and reading some book.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2018, 01:01:43 PM »
Had dinner and was planning to have a long walk with my buddy.I called him but he did not picked up the call and he also posted some pictures which was showing he was  hanging out with other friends which really hurt me as he did not invited me to go out with them yesterday.So i got sad deep inside and instead of going for walk,went to meet other set of friends.I also ate 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream(i think i was trying to cope with this situation by eating).At the shop,i saw one married woman and  i was checking  her out like a sexual object which really aroused me and also saw one chick and she really aroused me too.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2018, 01:03:24 PM by Bat_man92 »

Berens

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2018, 01:28:49 PM »
Maybe resisting the temptation to look at women will help you in your rebooting. I used to look at women a lot on the street and it was a great change for me to stop doing that and just focus on something else around.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2018, 08:37:35 AM »
Last night i had heavy dinner and ice cream too which resulted in nightfall/wet dreams.I have noticed that whenever i would eat heavy in dinner,there are 95% chances that nightfall will occur.Woke up and went to the gym.After office hours,ate small amount of junk food.Leaving for hindu temple for prayer.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2018, 11:57:37 AM »
Went to the temple and after that visited the nearby park for walking.I really enjoyed the experience  as cool air was blowing.From tomorrow,I will recite the Gayatri Mantra twice every morning.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2018, 10:27:25 AM »
Went to the gym in morning. After that took shower and went to the office.30 minutes ago,Saw this hot woman at grocery shop and looked deep into her eyes.I was sexually aroused but trying to divert my mind toward other things.Right now my cook is preparing dinner for me.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2018, 09:48:59 PM »
After dinner ,i pushed myself to walk last night.It was amazing .Came back home and slept.During sleep i had nightfall which i am guessing has happened because my stomach was not clear and ate dinner bit late.Woke up at 4:45 a.m. and did some reading of the book "slight edge" and then fall asleep again.woke up bit late and had to skip going to gym today.I am feeling like i am cured of porn addiction but i know it is my mind which is playing tricks on me as it has happened many times in the past that i would feel like i am cured of porn and then succumb to porn again.Reading the slight edge has changed my thinking that instead of doing whole big task in one day,break it down into small parts and do it everyday.You will feel less pressure and less likely to procrastinate.

TheRealProof

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2018, 10:34:24 PM »
Hey bat_man. New habits are the key. You going to the gym/for walks, reciting prayers is a pretty good start towards recovery
Remind me of who i was and why i will not go back

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2018, 10:06:23 AM »
After office ,Went to a school for disabled children and distributed candies,juices and fruits among kids.Took shower and right now playing spiritual music while my cook is preparing dinner for me.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2018, 09:59:27 PM »
Past 2 days have been terrible for me.Missed the gym and used internet compulsively,slept for few hours which made my mind go crazy.I was at the verge of relapse and was consciously thinking sexual thoughts.did not watch porn but got really stimulated.Got a wet dream last night.I did not even go out for walking.I am in a downward spiral right now.

Berens

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2018, 07:18:25 AM »
Oh man, can you get out of that spiral? You know what to do and you don't have to force yourself that much, just have some fun in a healthy way.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2018, 08:21:25 AM »
Oh man, can you get out of that spiral? You know what to do and you don't have to force yourself that much, just have some fun in a healthy way.
Yeah.It mostly happens during weekends.My routine gets disturbed and i get lazy.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2018, 08:24:42 AM »
Had a nice and deep sleep last night.Woke up and went to the gym.Felt amazing after gym.Drank protein shake , had 6 egg whites in breakfast and left for the office.I just returned from the office and playing some instrumental music while writing this journal.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #20 on: June 18, 2018, 11:50:32 AM »
Had a nice evening.Cleaned my house,attended the meeting ,ate home cooked dinner ,drank sweet lime juice then went for a 5 minute walk in the park.Feeling happy and grateful.

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #21 on: June 19, 2018, 10:17:26 AM »
Went to gym in the morning and did workout for 10 minutes as my trainer was absent today so after that i walked out of the gym and went to park and walked there for 5 minutes.Need to push myself more in this area i.e. walk more and workout hard on my own even if the trainer is not there.Took shower,brushed my teeth and went to office.Came back from work and attended recovery meeting .Ate some food outside which i am not proud of and feeling bit guilty about that.I forgot i also did gratitude journal in the morning before going to gym.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2018, 10:20:50 AM by Bat_man92 »

malando

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2018, 03:42:30 PM »
You have a cook? Why?

Bat_man92

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2018, 06:57:15 AM »
You have a cook? Why?
for making fresh food.i dont know cooking.

TheRealProof

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Re: Reboot:Will Never indulge in watching Porn and Masturbation
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2018, 07:42:28 AM »
You have a cook? Why?
for making fresh food.i dont know cooking.
I wish i didnot know how to cook, but then i'd probably starve to death. Haha
Congrats on your progress tho.
Remind me of who i was and why i will not go back