Rewiring experts, I need your help.

Hello, everyone. I am looking for advice on the rewiring stage of the healing process.

1.-I know pornography is extremely bad for my psychology. I got my mind used to a wide and "high quality" variety of women thanks to the high-speed internet. Not only that, but a variety of races, situations, and even compilations of situations. Highly destructive.

2.-I also know that masturbation has gotten my physiology used to certain stimulus, very specific and very, very destructive. The hand is a very poor substitute of a real vagina, the grip, the speed, the humidity, the fact that the hand does all the work while the body remains still, on top of the absence of need to please a real woman, hence, reaching an orgasm for the sake of QUICK pleasure, to relieve stress, pure boredom, etcetera.

3.-The combination of both, masturbation and pornography, are a lethal recipe for a nightmare, a very real one.

4.-At this point, assuming we have realised this and started our healing process, many questions come to our mind. I know the answer to some of those questions, but I have a lot of doubts regarding the rewiring stage.

I know about the flatline and withdrawal. Both will come and go, and will come and go again a few times even after months, I expect that. I have been doing mindful meditation and exercise as often as I can.

Now, about the rewiring stage, I have the following questions.

Is it possible and/or recommended to start the rewiring from day one? Or is there a particular time frame to start doing it?

I know some people who attempt the rewiring with prostitutes, and while I think that is better than nothing, I also think that, psychologically, the performance anxiety is nonexistent, so, technically is an overly "safe" or unrealistic scenario, not to mention the fact that prostitutes offer a great variety of body shapes and facial features (very much like porn) compared to a monogamous relationship with someone you have strong feelings for. Has anyone done this and confirmed that the transition to a formal mutually exclusive relationship is feasible?

I have read that ejaculating/orgasming can be a tricky thing to deal with during the rewiring process. The reason is, I believe, that as soon as we achieve an erection, we want to go at it and do our thing as soon as possible due to the fear of losing it. So, my theory is that I should focus on the sensations and enjoy the moment, fighting the urge to speed my way through the whole thing. It is not about my penis or reaching an orgasm, but about being "mindful" of every moment.

My next question is that if it is counterproductive going a long time without starting the rewiring process? And when I say "a long time" I am thinking... probably six months.

Would I suffer a permanent damage or something like that if I delayed my rewiring process for a long time?

My theory here is that, once I leave porn and masturbation permanently, and of course any other softcore content like Facebook females and stuff, if I don't start my rewiring process, my body will get "stuck" in this unkown stage and not be able to make the transition to normal sex anymore. I guess that's my fear.

This is just an extra questions, probably not related to this topic but, still, I would like to know if the famous "morning wood" ever came back? I don't really mind if it doesn't come back, as long as I be able to have normal sex once again, but I am curious.

If you have anything else about the rewiring process that I didn't mention but you would like to share, please do, I would love to know more.

I thank in advance to any person who can shed some light in this topic.

I haven't masturbated and/or watched porn for about a month, but I am really curious about the rewiring part which, in my opinion, is the most difficult and crucial aspect of the recovery, once you have left porn and masturbation for good.

Hi winter.

Congrats on getting so far. Keep it up.

I can't necessarily answer any of your questions but can give some input on the basis of my personal experiences and feelings regarding rewiring.

I have been 're-wiring' with real partners since like day five of my reboot - however, please note that this is contrary to most of the advice I have seen and abstaining for a longer period my accelerate the recovery process. I have been P free and pretty much M free for two months but have been having sex. I have experienced considerable (but nowhere near total) improvement in terms of ED. Although my erections are still inconsistent, they are much better than they were, as is the sense of intimacy and the general pleasure I get from sex.

I think a big part of having satisfying sex again is finding a partner who you feel comfortable enough talking about your situation with - for me, a big improvement came from simply removing the sense of shame around not being able to stay hard. You are dealing with it: taking positive steps to better yourself and address an issue that you may not have been able to face head on for a long time. Take pride in that.

Your suggestion about enjoying the moment and not rushing through things is a good one - it also complements your mindfulness meditation well. What has worked for me re: orgasm, is simply not making it the goal, if you O with a partner don't worry about it, but try to enjoy the pleasure you get from contact and touching, and pleasuring your partner without pushing for it.

Or course to rewire like this you need a partner and that might be difficult if you're not in a relationship. But it's not THAT difficult. If you live in a big city, you might try OKCupid (although, again, be careful with this - a lot of people would advise against it and it could lead to relapse if it becomes a soft-porn type browsing experience) and just being totally honest about what you're looking for. For me, finding a partner like this, or meeting someone IRL who might be open to a casual relationship, would be much better than hiring a prostitute. I think the variety of facial features, race etc is a misnomer; the issue is that with a prostitute, you are essentially paying somebody to service you, and in this way it is somewhat akin to porn. Also, the unreality aspect you mentioned.

Hiring a prostitute is fraught with issues. I'm not saying it's right or it's wrong, just that it is complex and on the basis of your message it seems that you think about things deeply. I think it's important for our brains to start equating positive feelings with sex, and if there is a possibility of you feeling any sense of guilt or remorse about sleeping with a prostitute (e.g. did she chose this profession or was she coerced etc.) then it might do more harm than good. Also, you probably have a time limit, which runs counter to the exploratory, not rushing it thing we discussed earlier. Also, it's quite possible that you will still feel pressure to perform with a prostitute - you paying her doesn't transform her from a real person to an inanimate object - and this could make you feel much worse. Again, I'm not making any kind of statement on the morality of prostitution - just saying that it's complex.

Your question about whether not rewiring for a long period would cause permanent damage is not one I'm really equipped to help with, but I highly doubt it.

And your morning wood, will come back. It's going to be great!

Keep up the good work, man. You're doing fine.