Is this all just a placebo? Am I clinging onto false hopes?

I apologise for the somewhat contentious title. I just turned 18 years old recently and I've basically had no penile sensitivity my entire life. I don't want to cling onto any false hopes about potential recovery, I just want straight up answers.

Currently, I experience no orgasms, urinary problems, sensitivity on my penis is the same as the back of my hand, basically no libido (I'm serious, I look at a naked hot girl and I won't be aroused), no refractory period, no hypersensitivity that comes after an orgasm, some weird as scar on the head of my penis, a weird hard swelling beneath the head of my penis, and a short foreskin which doesn't cover the head of my penis resulting in no sensitivity on the head of my penis either.

Before anyone asks, I have being to doctors who are stumped. This just really kills my hopes because if doctors can't help me, then who can?

I hate getting close to girls or getting into a relationship because I'm afraid of having to have sex. I know, how fucking ridiculous. I remember when I was a kid that just hit puberty and I really wanted to have sex, like it was basically my one goal. Now, I'm afraid of it. Nothing feels good about sex. I last ages, it becomes boring, I feel nothing and I don't even at least have an orgasm.

Please read on from here to hear my theories on how I caused these problems, just in case my theories turn out to be wrong.

When I was a kid, about 5 years old, I discovered prone masturbation/dry humping, it felt good so I did it a lot. Over time, I stopped doing it - I can't remember why I stopped but I think it might be because it became less pleasureable.

Then when I was about 9, I learned about masturbation from my friends and I tried it out. I couldn't feel any pleasure. My theory here is that maybe I damaged my penis from when I was dry jumping. And because I was a fucked up kid, I became obsessed with it in pursuit of trying to find some sort of pleasure. I think this lead to even more lack of sensitivity today.

Eventually when I hit puberty at 13, I only masturbated for the orgasm and I did that super often. I would power through my refractory periods and hypersentivity. Which lead me to now. I noticed that my orgasms are basically non existent as well as my refractory periods and hypersensitivity. If anything, I am numb after ejaculating. I have ejaculated up to 8 times in a row. I think I've ejaculated up to 12 times in one day at most.

I then tried nofap on and off but didn't count the days. I didn't really trust it or take it seriously because all its effects seemed overblown and it looked like pseudoscience. It didn't really seem to help much either. Nofap also put me in a permanent flatline. My libido went from extremely high (as expected for a teenager) to non existent. I can literally look at extremely hot naked girls and I won't even feel a thing. For the record, I still do try nofap. I'm not even interested in masturbating anymore so I rarely masturbate anyways.

I feel like a freak. I'm so fucked up. I've destroyed my sex life before I even hit 18. I hate myself and the last thing I need is more false hopes. I don't want people telling me baseless "feel-good" lies, I want evidence and truth. What can I do to fix these problems? Where can I go? I've kept telling myself that my orgasms would return, my libido would be high again and my sensitivity would be normal but it's being so long. I'm starting to lose hope.

Thanks for taking time to read this.

i dont believe there is permanent flatline. flatlines are good they help you stay off O and MO which speeds up your process.

if doctors dont know what is going on, then PMO is going on. doctors are stupid, old school heads, stuck in old loops. most of them are. they can help you only if there is something physically wrong with your dick, porn addiction is going to take some time to become fully recognized among them.

i suggest you cut off PMO, fantasy and MO. include MOing more than once a month to your definition of relapse. in other words, if you MO more than once in 30 days, count it as relapse. daily masturbation is not healthy and humans are not designed to O every day. out of all mammals humans suffer the most from daily O. if you add overstimulation with PMO, it is obvious how fucked up it can get and why we lose our brains.

im sick of stupidity and misinformation i have been dealt for most of my life. now i have to struggle with something as stupid as porn addiction.

what you mean by "trying" no fap and "long time". if you keep testing yourself (masturbating, PMOing, fantasizing) you are coming back all the time and few months is not long.

First things first: you are in a flatline, you have PIED and need to recover. It can take months. I'm almost rebooting for 14 months now and maybe 80% healed.
Here are my thoughts on everything from your post.

While prone masturbation and mattress humping has a dramatic effect on your penis, it might also be your expectations being too high.
There are guys who find sex rather boring, believe it or not. No matter wether healthy or not your body weight will always cause more pleasure than a vagina. Getting into one night stands is often approval seeking behavor and a quick confidence boost for some men. Or just plain horniness, the sex itself however is what it is. Nothing special.

There might be some severe desensitization going on though. You are indeed dealt a bad hand because of your exposed glans. You could try to minimize friction by putting moisturizer on your glans every day and wear roomy boxer briefs.

An effective way to increase sensitivity is meditation or at least autogenous training if you suck at meditation. Just be sure that a more sensitive penis is what you want, some guys have premature ejaculation and that is worse in my opinion.

Cheers!

Hello Bro,

First thing first, relax. I know you feel that you have damaged you self with your habits n all that. Well everybody on this forums have done the same to themselves it just varies in the quantity and quality.

Based on your post, it seems sever PIED, and can be curable with Extremely Hardmode No PMO. Don't worry about it. It may take time but will get healed. Do you get morning erections of any quality?

The only thing I found bit different is scar on your penis head and the swelling beneath the penis head. Have you developed this change earlier or its been there from birth ? If you have noticed this recently then please consult two or three urologists. Don't just settle on one doctor's diagnosis. See if there is any medication for this scar and swelling, and get it right. Thtas important for now.

And start HARDMODE NO PMO. BE A SAINT.And let me tell you one think, you will fell every single reply to your post as false hope. But dude trust me, people who are replying you know that there is some issue and the can offer some suggestions. They know how it feels, and so they do care and reply. People can only give you suggestions, but you are the only one who can change your own situation. So be responsible, make up your mind and start a mission. Yes Mission, take it as a Mission and plan it properly and execute. I know it will be long journey but the results would be phenomenal.

Just check your scar and swelling, other than that nothing seems weird or unique or noncurable. Hang on Dude, you are too young, once you get your charm back (even if takes one or two years,yes I am not kidding) just imagine how beautiful, promising and inviting life would be for you.

Best of Luck Bro!!!! You can do it!!! (Well, I know I am not much experienced in this NO PMO thing, but you seemed way more depressed and so thought to give you some moral support.)

Hopes@live.