[I've decided to post on this forum. I have a journal on YBR, but the site seems to have crashed.]
I'm a 46 year old former porn addict, happily married with 4 children. My porn addiction almost ended my marriage 10 years ago. At the time, I made a promise to my wife that I would quit. That promise lasted about a month, and I had been living that lie until 4 months ago when I dropped porn for good. As a result, I've chosen to keep my effort to reboot "private". My wife is unaware. This has created challenges of its own, but I saw it as my only option.
As I mentioned, I quit porn cold turkey and began my reboot 120+ days ago. I stumbled into YBOP back in April in a desperate search for the cause of my sexual malfunction. The information was stunning to me. I had been blaming my problems on everything except my porn addiction.
In the early days of my reboot, I went through some wicked withdrawal - including crushing anxiety and depression. I still struggle a bit with anxiety, but for the most part, I feel I'm well on my way to recovery. I choose now not to get bogged down in the ED, PE, DE, etc... terminology, as I feel it reinforces some mental barriers that I'm trying to overcome. I'm trying to focus more on the bigger picture of my recovery, instead of the next potential failure in the bedroom. Yes, I'm still having issues with hypersensitivity (premature ejaculation). I struggle also with low libido and a weak mind/penis connection, but I've come to understand just how nonlinear this process is, and that the overall trend is upward - IF YOU STAY CLEAN. That's the key. You MUST stay away from ALL 2D stimulation.
I also believe there is a spiritual/moral component to all of this as well. I won't get into that here, but I know if it had not been for my relationship with Jesus Christ, I would have relapsed long ago.
This process works, and the journey has been life-changing for me in many ways. The brain can, and will heal itself, but it takes time. Most of all, we must make porn a thing of the past.
I'm a 46 year old former porn addict, happily married with 4 children. My porn addiction almost ended my marriage 10 years ago. At the time, I made a promise to my wife that I would quit. That promise lasted about a month, and I had been living that lie until 4 months ago when I dropped porn for good. As a result, I've chosen to keep my effort to reboot "private". My wife is unaware. This has created challenges of its own, but I saw it as my only option.
As I mentioned, I quit porn cold turkey and began my reboot 120+ days ago. I stumbled into YBOP back in April in a desperate search for the cause of my sexual malfunction. The information was stunning to me. I had been blaming my problems on everything except my porn addiction.
In the early days of my reboot, I went through some wicked withdrawal - including crushing anxiety and depression. I still struggle a bit with anxiety, but for the most part, I feel I'm well on my way to recovery. I choose now not to get bogged down in the ED, PE, DE, etc... terminology, as I feel it reinforces some mental barriers that I'm trying to overcome. I'm trying to focus more on the bigger picture of my recovery, instead of the next potential failure in the bedroom. Yes, I'm still having issues with hypersensitivity (premature ejaculation). I struggle also with low libido and a weak mind/penis connection, but I've come to understand just how nonlinear this process is, and that the overall trend is upward - IF YOU STAY CLEAN. That's the key. You MUST stay away from ALL 2D stimulation.
I also believe there is a spiritual/moral component to all of this as well. I won't get into that here, but I know if it had not been for my relationship with Jesus Christ, I would have relapsed long ago.
This process works, and the journey has been life-changing for me in many ways. The brain can, and will heal itself, but it takes time. Most of all, we must make porn a thing of the past.
