Severe ED, Someone talk to me please.

I have been on this journey since God knows. Trying to recover. I stopped PMO for about 5 years now. shocked right? i haven't recovered!!! Here's my story, i started masturbating since i was 14, porn by 17 and by 21 i noticed ED. I started using Viagra from age 27, i stopped at age 34. i will be 40 next week, sad right? But i came across this platform 5 years ago, i stopped PMO immediately, but i live with my girlfriend so we always try to have sex to no avail. last year, i didnt have sex at all, no orgasm except wet dreams that happened like 3 times.
Here is the problem, whenever i abstain from touching my girl or i am away from her for about 2 months, i notice some improvements, like more energy, focus, better memory, lack of depression etc. but the instance i get home and we kiss and have some good smooching even without orgasm or penetration, all symptoms swing back into full force. that is against what this platform teaches, correct me please! i havent gone any closer to her in 2 months now but last night, she kissed me for a while and i noticed some pre-cum while semi erect.  My girl now thinks there probably something else wrong with me, but i believe its PIED because of the other symptoms involved. some guys are prescribing some medications made of herbal concoctions...damn.
I need any advice i can get. why is this taking so freaking long, anyone else experienced these?Do i have to go on Monk mode? is there any hope at all?

Hey, man. So sorry that you're having such a hard time with this. Just wondering, have you talked to a doctor about your ED troubles? Might be good to just make sure there isn't either something physiological or a medication you're taking that could be compounding your problems. I know that quitting porn/fapping is a critical part of solving my own troubles, but I'm also prone to some ED because of the antidepressant and ADHD meds that I take, for instance. 

I commend you for giving a pornography because that is now a proven impediment towards healthy erections.  But you really have to look at all sorts of potential contributing causes. Have you gotten your hormones checked? Have you gotten your female estrogen Hormones checked, you need to run the ultra sensitive version of those tests for men. And you need to have all of your dopaminergic functions tested.There are also tests for DHT, dude there are literally dozens of blood tests do you need to run to rule out all sorts of issues. If that doesn?t work you might need to talk to a psychologist about suppressed psychological issues. I really think you need to take a holistic approach to this. But whatever you do I would not go back to pornography. That is not going to help the matter at all.