We will achieve freedom, be sure! (journal)

I just achieved my record of days without PMO yesterday. 13 days exactly. Relapse is one of the most terrible things in the sense that I find myself lost when it happens to me. I masturbated 3 times on the day of the relapse and 3 times today ... Horrible feeling and what a bad night was yesterday!

To briefly tell my story, I am French, I am 17 years old and I have been PA since the age of 12-13 years. I really got involved in my fight against PMO a little before I turned 16. Today and during these last 13 days without PMO before the relapse, I had a motivation which accompanied me. I plan to get married in 2 to 4 months with a woman already chosen and who chose me. So, getting rid of PMO becomes an absolute necessity to be able to live a fulfilling relationship with my beloved as well on the sexual level as on the emotional level.

After having denied, at the beginning, the need to begin a journal, I resolved to create one to be able to be assisted in my struggle. The motivation for rebooting is present, the rewiring will be done because I plan to meet her soon for a nice little outing. My decision to start a reboot is made. My partner is just missing.

DAY 1 :

Today, I am very happy in the sense that I have never taken the path of restarting after a relapse so quickly. This reassures me to the fullest since I move away from the PMO more and more. Tomorrow, I plan to start my rewiring by going out with my girlfriend.

From a psychological point of view, I am far from the sadness experienced yesterday, the day of my relapse. Very happy and motivated for the future.

DAY 2 :

The human relation between opposite sexes is really something pleasant. Anyway, that's how I felt when I went out today with my girlfriend. Shared laughter and good times spent are far better than the concern and anxiety brought on by pornography. This relationship made me completely forget about porn and prevent any urge to appear suddenly. A good time spent that just made me happy.

DAY 4:

From a personal point of view, I sincerely believe that one of the best ways if not the best is social relations. In my case, it really allows me to forget about pornography very effectively. Hope it lasts over time ...

I'm glad you're working on this now that you're so young brother! trust me you want to get rid of this asap, I'm 27 now and I wish I would have started at your age. I can't even imagine how my quality of life would have been. I'm rooting for you man, you can do it!

DAY 5:

I relapsed but I do not persist in this failure. So I start again with the same motivation. Thanks for your support @shostamin93

DAY 1:

Day 1 successful. As long as I can stay the course and be motivated enough. A small question that I find relevant: How remember your partner motivate you in your reboot?

DAY 3:

Satisfied with myself. I managed to control very strong cravings today and yesterday. I absolutely have to stay motivated and be on my guard at all times.

DAY 6:

Nothing particular to report except a slight drop in self-confidence which did not last. On the road to freedom!

DAY 11:

I was sick for a few days and it is no worse for forgetting my addiction and PMO. My rewiring is done very well with the one I can now call my fianc?e.

But I am starting to enter a critical period of each reboot because it is in these days that I tend to fall for PMO. Advice and support would be welcome.

It's great to know you have a fianc?e. She will support you for sure I wish I had someone by my side.

Anyway, it's very unusual to plan getting married for your age. Very rare these days, but it probably means you are really in love with that person. Good luck

DAY 14:

NEW RECORD ! In short, just for me a way to convince myself that I can overcome this addiction and end up rebooting as it should.

DAY 16:

I am still sick and on the other hand so much the better because it helps me to forget PMO. But I feel some desires that I would have to dismiss to continue my restart without incident. Avoid at all costs to think of erotic images so as not to stimulate again the neurons involved in my relapses. Courage for the future.

DAY 1:

I relapsed yesterday but I keep in my mind that I reached my record. Following the way of reboot is my goal and I will succed!

Hey,

What a great way to deal with your relapse! I hope you'll manage to continue beating your previous record, you certainly have the right mindset. Do you know what's lead up to the point of your relapse? I hope by understanding what caused it you can prevent it from happening again in the future.

Best of luck on beating your record again Ever day without porn helps you in getting rid of it!

I think it's because of my obsession with fantasizing out of thin air. At the beginning it starts from a fantasy with a girl in a cafe, a nice little discussion and then comes to a daring sexual fantasy. I get excited, I think about porn, I hesitate then I relapse.

I know the issue all too well - I write about it near daily in my journal.

The best advice I can give is be sure to be focused on something in your life outside this project. An idle mind is dull mind and a dull mind is a poisoned mind.

Stimulate yourself with challenges and projects - especially ones that get your blood pumping but also ones that really test your brain.

For me I'm a med student and that takes up the bulk of my time - but i'm also daily into fitness and I'm learning German. No Fap/No PMO becomes some minor thing i'm doing by comparison, even though it's a major undertaking and beneficial project in reality!

Since I am on this forum, I learned that two things were extremely effective against the urge to relapse during the restart: rewiring and the fact of exercising a high level sport to spend energy without it not used for anything else ... So, I plan to start doing weight training in the gym to gain more self-confidence and optimize my muscles and testosterone. Especially since I have been thinking about doing this for a while because it is a goal that I have set myself since several weeks.

And to stimulate the brain, I usually learn a lot on youtube most of the time and in books. Meditation is also part of the group because I am a believer.

I think it will be a good start.

I recommend Stronglifts 5x5 for weight training if you're a beginner - give it a few months and you'll be squatting 100kg which is better than the vast majority of people.

Youtube I'm cautious about personally because you might catch the odd clickbait thumbnail that might provoke you into relapsing if the timing is just right (or wrong in this case!)

Meditation is good for sure - it can help when the urges start to boil over.

Good luck brother!

DAY 2:

This chase effect caught me in a trap for a few days. To be honest, I expected this. Here, the rewiring played a big role in getting me out of this impasse and getting to resume a good reboot. To continue.