Ad altiora natus sum

Hello, gentlemen.

It's been 1 day since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

I joined this forum today and I would just like to give a brief introdution of myself and how I got here. I started PMOing in 2010, back when I was 15 years old. I can't really tell what are the specific reasons why I embraced such frustrating and energy-draining habit that in my country -- Brazil -- is as widespread as it is in the whole world and we sadly have no Portuguese information about. However, I tend to think I found it was a way of "enhancing" my masturbation experience or simply because of a lack of shit else to get done in my life in the midst of a pletora of doubts about the future and other confusing feelings both common to the youth. In that same year, after attending a religious gathering in a big city, I decided to quit PMO for good and for God. I was still totally ignorant about the real negative effects PMO has on people though. In fact, masturbation and pornography were even a signal of masculinity and virility to me, as if wishing "godly-shaped" and "inaccessible" girls were normal to the male sex -- probably just because all other peers of mine always showed the same fantasies. 2 years of porn fighting followed without success. I could stay 2 months without PMOing in 2011, but eventually ended up relapsing.

In 2012, I fell in love with and started dating an absolutely sweet girl, to whom I plan on getting married soon. I chose her not because I desperately wanted to fuck her in the same way porn actors did, but precisely because she didn't remind me of all that garbage I wired in my pornography routine. It was different, it was special. As we religiously believe in chastity, it's been 5 years we have been dating and never had sex -- yes, we have already edged. We're both virgin. Nevertheless, I'm 22 now, still struggling against this crap and it feels like things got worse lately -- just not for so long. Recently, thanks to YBOP and Gabe Deem, I figured out that PMO is not just about morals, but it is indeed a public health issue and an addiction that is sucking down the precious energies I need to keep my life going and achieve my dreams -- one of them is getting married in the next 2 years.

In the beginning of this year, unhappy with my current work and trusting a job promise it was done to me, I asked for the sack. But the promise wasn't kept. Result: the past 6 months were the most useless time I've ever had. Excepting my relationships, my work was the only stable thing I had in my life, and the stability had just crashed. Anyway, this time is gone. No way back. The good news is that I am now bound to getting a job better than the one I had and with this forum I'm really excited to track the path to freedom. My girlfriend is perfectly aware of my situation and willing to support me during my reboot. The only thing I'd like to ask you guys is your support as well and any advice you may have for me, chiefly coming from successful rebooters. As a philosophy lover, I am a completely open-minded person and passionate with the sovereignty of experience. Let's get our shit done, boys. We'll soon be laughing at how much time we wasted and how many goals we didn't accomplish on account of this shenanigan.

Bye for now!
 
It's been 2 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

I reckon it's not the best way to begin a streak, but I had a slightly below average day today. I woke up later than I intended to and in the afternoon I tried to prepare some classes for my future English teaching job, without so much success. I needed to have had a certain support from the school I'm applying for but I couldn't get it. In fact, I was feeling somehow sad while doing it, which is very likely due to my PMO addiction. I didn't have urges at all, just some suggestions to look at some girl's body parts on the street, but nothing I wasn't able to overcome. But this day was compensated by a long board game playing time with my girlfriend, my cousin, his girlfriend and another mate. We've had some hot dogs for dinner and played a bunch. It was funny.  ;D
 
It's been 3 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

I had a much better day today, although I got up fucking late again. If it weren't because of this, I would easily be at mood level 9,0. Today I finally started training for my English teaching job in the city I live in. I was doing it in a city 80km away, but at some point my prospective boss told me to wait for it to start here and I got very lazy and taskless for some days because of that. No critical things but some quick staring in the afternoon, excepting some weird things that started to take over 2 hours ago, but I could handle it without so much difficulty though. Also, I got rid of a very serious thing, what drove me into being in great peace now. I'm thankful.
 
It's been 4 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

Ordinary day with not so much achievements. No heavy urges at all, at least nothing that would annoy me that much. I just had some fantasies with random women during the day but nothing to worry about -- yet. I invited a friend over and we played videogames a lot on my computer.
 

mattboire

Member
Hey Spiritseeker! I just saw your post on my thread! Thanks for the encouragement!
4 days for you! Keep going, man!
And keep fighting for your girl! (i.e. by quitting porn)

Good Luck!
 
It's been 6 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

Thank you so much, mattboire. Yeah, let's all keep fighting against the new drug so that we can be free and become great achievers.

I missed writing on my journal yesterday, but I think this is not big deal. I find it is a sign that I'm caring about something else and not porn-related things. No big urges. As I'm not working yet, I feel I haven't been doing useful things, but I got the impression that I must change it because it can lead to idleness and this one is a hell of a trigger. The good thing is that I'm seeing people more often, what is quite healthy in this sort of treatment. I'll set up a meta for the next week:

* Enjoy this period I'm not working to study as much philosophy lessons I can;
* Get back to the books I was reading;
* Finish some chores I've been neglecting;
* Have a consistent schedule for some other things I consider fundamental in my life.

If I do these, I'll not get so bored and I'll have things to be proud of.  :)
 
It's been 7 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 6,0.

I didn't have a very productive day today. I let myself be lead by that random and useless online surfing in the afternoon. I'm sure it's due to my brain looking for dopamine peeks. The good thing is that I saw a friend today who is going to travel next wednesday. There is a slight chance he'll be moving to the US after that and we won't be seeing each other again for a long time, maybe no more. I hope tomorrow I start doing the tasks I set up as a week meta yesterday. Gotta sleep.

 

vigilantwarrior

Active Member
Hey Spiritseeker! Thanks for sharing your intro and the rest of your journey with us! I too am religious and also interested in philosophical exploration but not well-versed on any of it so I'd be curious to know what you come across as you attempt to have healthy habits while fighting for a better life for you and your girlfriend. Since you mentioned a desire to do your tasks, what if you also try just finishing one or two of your chores while listening to music? Either way, hope to hear from you tonight possibly :)
 
Hello Spiritseeker,

Looks like you're building a good foundation for your life! Wife in 2 years, a job, do you have any hobby's?
I also had the habit to surf the internet, which is dangerous, so I started to learn the piano.
Looking forward seeing how this day went for you!

All the best,
Grandson_of_Thatcher
 
siphus said:
Hey Spiritseeker! Thanks for sharing your intro and the rest of your journey with us! I too am religious and also interested in philosophical exploration but not well-versed on any of it so I'd be curious to know what you come across as you attempt to have healthy habits while fighting for a better life for you and your girlfriend. Since you mentioned a desire to do your tasks, what if you also try just finishing one or two of your chores while listening to music? Either way, hope to hear from you tonight possibly :)

Thank you very much for your feedback and suggestion, siphus. Good to know we have religious rebooters around. Actually, I was a little apprehensive before starting posting here because of it. As I'm struggling against PMO not only for health issues but for religious matters as well, I should watch the words I use on feedbacks I give and focus more on experience. Yes, I discovered philosophy in 2014 due to a friend who introduced me to the Brazilian philosopher Olavo de Carvalho -- he currently lives in the US. I'm not well-versed on the subject either, because in the course I attend we learn that philosophy is not necessarily a science nor a study, but an activity that involves way more your spirit than your brain. Then, there are a lot of prior affairs we must care about before attempting rough philosophy itself. As for my habits, I have a big problem at the moment: I'm unemployed. If you mean my daily schedule, I absolutely don't have any obligations and this is undoubtedly not the best scenario to fight porn addiction. I'm planning my duties on my own. But, if you mean what are the habits I'm making use of to fight PMO, nothing beyond we can ordinarily find on YBOP and YouTube. Curiously, I have been listening to music in order to keep far from urges and boredom situations, especially slow tempo ones like Gregorian Chant, Arias, and general Classical Music. As a matter of fact, I think music listening is a great habit to get rid of addictions. It's like it diminishes your "inner rythm", decreasing anxiety and stuff. I haven't had the opportunity yet but I'll recommend it to the other rebooting guys. Good results with that so far. I'm also used to listening to environmental music while keeping up with my chores, but I think my current problem is that I'm facing a withdrawal effect which gets me bored when I consider finishing the chores I left undone. Nevertheless, I had a fairly good day today so far: I finished a philosophy lesson and I'm going for a jog in the next hour. Not even close to the ideal but still progress. I'll call it "comfortable" when I get able to daily wake up early, study and read about the subjects I love, train for my future job and keep going out with friends more often.
 
Grandson_of_Thatcher said:
Hello Spiritseeker,

Looks like you're building a good foundation for your life! Wife in 2 years, a job, do you have any hobby's?
I also had the habit to surf the internet, which is dangerous, so I started to learn the piano.
Looking forward seeing how this day went for you!

All the best,
Grandson_of_Thatcher

Thank you for posting on my thread, Grandson_of_Thatcher. Yes, in addition to philosophy and high literature, I'm a videogame kind of guy. I like playing cards and boardgames as well. The thing is that I'm very limited in my hobbies at the moment on account of the unemployment, but hopefully the figure is going to change in the next two months. And I also recognize how surfing the internet is dangerous. I just had this sort of relapse yesterday but I could properly handle it today. In fact, I'm just trying to arrange my daily schedule in a way that I can do the things I love and exercising at the end of the day, which is highly recommended.  Wow, the piano is a great and very hard-to-learn instrument. Do you have any footage of your progress with it so far?
 

vigilantwarrior

Active Member
There are many of us on here with that as a factor, but this forum is more secular and relationship focused which I actually like a lot. Thanks for the breakdown about your music choices and your goals :)
 
siphus said:
There are many of us on here with that as a factor, but this forum is more secular and relationship focused which I actually like a lot. Thanks for the breakdown about your music choices and your goals :)

Wow, that is new to me. To tell you the truth, I feel the same. Feel free to post on my thread with advice anytime you want, brother. I don't care about "spams" or anything. If you don't mind, I'll be visiting your journal as well. Love making good pals, mainly in this environment where we are all going through the same experiences.  :D
 
It's been 8 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,5.

I had a relatively productive day today. No urges I can remember. Could finish a philosophy lesson and watched 2 episodes of a quite lovely series whose last season was released past few weeks. At the end of the afternoon, I went jogging and did 40 squats -- may sound laughable, but I saw somewhere this is a very good exercise for this treatment specifically, probably at YBOP forum. I visited my friend who is moving and we had quick but great talks there. The cherry on the cake was at the end of the evening when I paid my girlfriend a visit. She looked so sweet...  Tomorrow I'll try to have an even more productive day.  :)
 

vigilantwarrior

Active Member
Light exercise is pretty helpful for me, too, at the very least to not feel like an unprogressive slob. I have a system with a friend-- plan is 100 pushups and situps per day, which isn't easy. So the squats don't sound lame, they sound like a useful technique :D sounds like a solid day my dude.
 
It's been 9 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 7,0.

Ordinary day today. I was feeling anxious in the afternoon, but nothing escalated that serious. Started a new and very interesting philosophy lesson today -- which is already pretty good -- but didn't finish it because of that. I invited my mates to play cards but all of them couldn't make it. However, one of them made up his mind in the last minute and called me over. I've just returned from his place and something quite interesting happened on the way back. I heard some guys saying that they experience some sort of mental clarity increase after some days of reboot, that they begin remembering things they weren't able to before. I think I started tasting that while I was driving my bike on the way back home. I'm so grateful for that, because maybe that is already a sign of recovery and a prelude of freedom. That was a kind of a booster for me. I'm good at all. I feel that, if I stayed home, things would have been quite different. No doubts going out and hanging out with people is a key habit in PMO combat.
 
siphus said:
Light exercise is pretty helpful for me, too, at the very least to not feel like an unprogressive slob. I have a system with a friend-- plan is 100 pushups and situps per day, which isn't easy. So the squats don't sound lame, they sound like a useful technique :D sounds like a solid day my dude.

Yeah, I can't perform intense workout as people recommend during reboot but I try to get slightly exhausted after training. Squats are known to be good because they concentrate blood all over your legs, supposely draining it and keeping it from your penis. Something like that. As I was not used to exercising and let alone doing squats, I still feel the effects of stressing my legs yesterday. I plan on doing the same activity tomorrow -- 1 day of rest. Wow, 100 push-ups seem quite difficult indeed. Can you guys make it every day?
 
Retro Gamer said:
Dude, have you and your girl really been abstinent and in a relationship for 5 years? If so, then hurry up, marry her and do the deed!  :D

Yeah, man. If everything goes accordingly to what we've planned, our marriage starts within 2 years. I need to get a very nice job cause we want to have a bunch of kids. The thing is we started dating when we were both 17 and now at 22 we realized how serious it really is.  :)
 
It's been 10 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,5.

More small signs of recovery effects and mental clarity today. I also received the formal proposition from the English school I'm applying for and the pay is absolutely great. With no shadow of doubt, this is one of the best news I received in the last 7 months. No heavy urges yet. What made me a little uncomfortable is that my cousin will be moving with his girlfriend on Sunday, what is going to get me less mates to hang out with. I don't care that much because my girlfriend is my best friend, the sweetest thing in the globe. Being intimate to someone is a wonder of life.

 
It's been 11 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 7,0.

Today I once again fell into the random and useless internet surfing. I wasn't intentionally looking for provocative pics or anything, but I felt a little anxious and didn't do anything productive unless the jogging and 60 squats in the evening. I want to start working asap. It's like my mind was seeking comfort and rest, maybe just because yesterday was a good day enough.
 
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