Journey to a better me

Jake323

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone, I'm 21 years old and currently going on a year since trying to give up PMO. I've managed to give it up for the most part, but it seems as if I keep going back after a while, it's usually 2-3 weeks, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. It's better than doing it multiple times a day every day no doubt, but that isn't what I truly want, I want to give it up for good! I had started a log here before, but I often found myself obsessing about things that didn't help me in the long run. I'm starting today and I'm going to try my best not to obsess over stuff this time and see how it goes. My life has changed in many ways for the better over the past year, I've held down a difficult job for a year, I joined a gym and lost 66 lbs, I've gone to school and got pretty good grades for 3 semesters, and will most likely move out on my own out of my parents' house by the fall semester. However, I keep coming back to PMO and want to give it up completely. It just hurts my special anciety around girls even more, so I want no more of it. Let's do this.

3/13/17

Had a lot of guilt today about my PMO Sunday morning, but I stayed busy today and stayed away from PMO. Let's keep this going, one moment at a time.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/14/17

It was an ok day today. I can definitely feel the urges starting to creep in, just gotta stay in the moment and avoid any type of escalation, because that usually doesn't end well.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/15/17

Pretty good day today, it's really tough when I get bored and lonely to deal with the urges. Just gotta keep busy and focus my energy on healthy alternatives, lol.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
Forgot to update my log yesterday, here it is.

3/17/17

It was a pretty good day, stayed busy and focused my attention away from porn urges.

3/18/17

Another good day, stayed busy and kept my attention on productive activities.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/20/17

Day started off good, ended pretty terrible. I really hate being a virgin and having social anxiety. You have to be good with people to have success in life, not exactly easy and sometimes very painful to accept that your past keeps coming back to f*** you over, Ughh, I honestly feel as if this pain will never end and that life is just a huge disappointment. Yeah, there are happy moments and pleasurable experiences, but they don't last very long, going through pain for long periods of time for very brief moments of happiness and joy doesn't really seem worth it. All we seem to have is problems without answers to, and life just seems like too much of a bitch  to deal with right now, ughhhhh.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/21/17

Better day today even though I was running on 4 hours of sleep. Got a lot accomplished today and stayed away from PMO, I guess that's all that really matters at this point.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/22/17

Another pretty good day, some things in my life are starting to change, which is what I've been waiting for.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/25/17

Another pretty good day, stayed busy again, that seems to help a lot with staying away from PMO.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/26/17

Stayed away from PMO again, really need to keep this rolling, can't get distracted by things that don't serve me in life anymore, I've gone down that path too many times to keep making the same mistakes, it's time to eliminate this stuff from my life and do what truly matters to me.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
3/27/17

Boy, I'm exhausted from today. It's tough having social anxiety and being shy as a man during early adulthood. Everything I want to achieve just feels even harder.
 

DFTS

Member
Hey! You abstained for two weeks! That's an achievement.

You should fight your social anxiety. It's all inside you, if you will tell yourself that there's nothing to fear, then you will not be anxious. Sounds stupid, but that's the way it is, I've been through it too.
If you will start fighting your social anxiety, then I bet that you'll find a girl of your dreams, and without foggy, mellow mind caused by PMO, you'll get her in a blink of an eye. And that's the best motivation to abstain from porn.

Good luck brother, keep it up :)

DFTS
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
DFTS said:
Hey! You abstained for two weeks! That's an achievement.

You should fight your social anxiety. It's all inside you, if you will tell yourself that there's nothing to fear, then you will not be anxious. Sounds stupid, but that's the way it is, I've been through it too.
If you will start fighting your social anxiety, then I bet that you'll find a girl of your dreams, and without foggy, mellow mind caused by PMO, you'll get her in a blink of an eye. And that's the best motivation to abstain from porn.

Good luck brother, keep it up :)

DFTS

Thanks man. Yeah, I hear you, just need to face it one step at a time and ignore my negative thoughts.

3/28/17
Another pretty good day, I feel as if the urges strike whenever I'm really stressed or really bored, which tends to happen I'm working and going to school all the time, lol.

 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
4/1/17

I felt terrible today, no energy or motivation to do anything, felt sluggish and lethargic, just tired of being alone mostly.
 
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