Difficult decision

after so many years in hell of porn addiction.
Finally I have decided to destroy my smart phones, computers and tv.
regardless of the consequences, I will do that step by step.

I know my mom would be upset by that. but now enough is enough.
I have no control over myself. I always fail after some time.

the best thing is complete abstinence.

you guys might not see me here any more.
because I have already water damaged my windows phone.

soon in next few days, I am gonna water damage my laptop and then some day tv as well.

I am left with no other option.

porn addiction is killing me.
I am getting suicidal thoughts now more frequently after every ejaculation.

I can't take this pain any more.

I don't know, how my mom would react, but I am gonna try this way as well.

lets see whats happens.

if I get just 1 year without any access to any electronics, I am sure, I will get a lot better.

there is no other option left now.
I will lose 500 to 1000 dollars on electronics, but my life is more important than 1000 dollars.

I can make 1000 thousand in 1 month.
but I am dying with porn addiction.

I can't take this shittt any more.

real pussy/digital pussy is the most addictive thing in the world.
nothing is so addictive as pussy.

Hey Man, I understand your frustration with your addiction! It is very difficult to overcome the guilt, shame, and feelings of incompetence! I have been down this road you are going down before and trust me, destroying your electronics will not solve your problem. When your cravings start to come back and your brain goes bazurk, you will actually find a way out of no way to get your fix, even if it meant buying new devices or in the worse case, fapping at work or at another person's house. Your fight is not with your devices but with your own emotions and habits. Try to figure out why you are turning to porn, and how to address those particular issues! Good luck man 

Wow, great post!

You have to do whatever it takes and I can imagine it took some guts to do what you just did.
I was addicted to videogames at some point in my life and I erased all my games and stored my gaming consoles in the basement. It was very effective.

I agree, real pussy/ digital pussy is one hell of a drug.

Cheers!

Rival 2015 said:

Hey Man, I understand your frustration with your addiction! It is very difficult to overcome the guilt, shame, and feelings of incompetence! I have been down this road you are going down before and trust me, destroying your electronics will not solve your problem. When your cravings start to come back and your brain goes bazurk, you will actually find a way out of no way to get your fix, even if it meant buying new devices or in the worse case, fapping at work or at another person's house. Your fight is not with your devices but with your own emotions and habits. Try to figure out why you are turning to porn, and how to address those particular issues! Good luck man 

Click to expand...

thank you man.
thanks a lot.

Diesel driver said:

Wow, great post!

You have to do whatever it takes and I can imagine it took some guts to do what you just did.
I was addicted to videogames at some point in my life and I erased all my games and stored my gaming consoles in the basement. It was very effective.

I agree, real pussy/ digital pussy is one hell of a drug.

Cheers!

Click to expand...

thank you driver.
you are my inspiration.

guys I water damaged my smart phone.
but still I was back on porn soon after that.
this behavior is completely getting out of control for me now.

fighting back guys.
no other option.
I know I have ejaculated too many times.
I can't be that hard on myself.

I have to get back on horse right away.
trying to get first 5 days PMO free.
changing counter.

last two weeks I have been going through horrible times.
too many ejaculation.

out of balance.
I am trying to perform well again.

lets see how things go now

now chasing my first miles stone 5 days.
I have created my own milestones to give my brain rewards.
And after achieving 10 rewards/milestones in a row I will go to movie theater.
10 rewards in a row means 30 days.
Second way of achieving movie theater ticket would be getting 20 milestones/rewards.

now chasing my first reward/ mile stone
Reward / milestone No 1 >>> 5 days

for example if I relapse after 15 days, I will go back to day 5. I will start again from 5 days as first reward.

But Numbers of rewards/milestones won't be effected by relapse. Numbers of rewards/milestones will be reset after achieving a movie theater either way.

setting lengthy periods of time as goals, are not working for me.
I think our brains need more successes then losses.

this way, I can achieve more wins and less losses.
my brain will enjoy more successes.

And I won't feel down.

First 10 Rewards / Milestones


Reward / milestone No 1 >>> 5 days
Reward / milestone No 2 >>> 7 days (week 1)
Reward / milestone No 3 >>> 10 days
Reward / milestone No 4 >>> 14 days (week 2)
Reward / milestone No 5 >>> 15 days
Reward / milestone No 6 >>> 20 days
Reward / milestone No 7 >>> 21 days (week 3)
Reward / milestone No 8 >>> 25 days
Reward / milestone No 9 >>> 28 days (week 4)
Reward / milestone No 10 >>> 30 days

I water damaged my smart phone in water for approx 1 hour yesterday.
but today I used dryer just for 5 minutes and my phone was working again.

moving towards my first milestone 5 days.

I will easily get 2 days on board.
moving forward towards my first goal.
Got a rush looking at girl's picture.
but I am strong.

Good and strong so far.
moving forward towards first milestone.
HURRAY

I did worked on weekends too this week.
Just moving forward in life.

Trying to get as many rewards in a row, so I can view movies in theater.

getting my energy levels back.
strong and good.
feeling awesome.

busy days.
going back to job just in few minutes.
getting closer to my first reward at day 5.
just 35 hours away.

I badly want my movie ticket.
and for that I have to get 10 rewards in row or 20 rewards total.

getting very closer to first milestone of 5 days.
Feeling excited about that.

Right now I have got really busy in life.
working three jobs.
on weekends also I am working 2 jobs.

I am stressed about the new job.
But I am strong.
I won't choose porn to eliminate stress in life.
I will remain porn free.

Hi there...am glad to hear you did not destroy your electronics. I have some advice for you. First, reboot may take a long time than anticipated. I started mine May last year, did several days, relapsed, did 87 days and relapsed then binged and even had a thought of never recovering. I have done 3 months and I am going strong. So do not allow frustrations to overcome you. Secondly, install protective software in your electronics. This has helped me a lot. It is better to seal all the loopholes. I have K9 for windows and dansgurdian/privoxy for my ubuntu. Third, try a trick I learnt in the book, The power of your subconscious mind. To break an habit, you can make requests to your subconscious mind(the storehouse of habits). I used to lie down relaxed and say queitly"I am free from pornography and masturbation peace of mind reign" and "subconscious mind, rid me of thoughts of PMO, and of fantasies of obscenety, and nudity uproot them incinerate them and sink their ashes in the deepest part of the mariana trench". I would visualize it and to my surprise, weeks later when my mind wondered into fantasy, I saw a fire in my mind consuming the fantasy.
Fourth, please read books about porn, mind, addiction,  motivation and more. The more you know about your mind, addiction, and more, the more tools you have at your disposal to wage the battle.
Lastly use what works for you. All the best and remember to wage this battle step by step.

thank you igetum.
great post.

I got my first reward at day 5.
Reward / milestone No 1 >>> 5 days 

Now moving forward towards second reward at day 7, 1 week.

Current Rewards = 1
Total Rewards = 1


Current D.E.A.D.S(delay,escape,accept,dispute,substitute) = 1
Total D.E.A.D.S(delay,escape,accept,dispute,substitute) = 1


Got first D.E.A.D.S as well 
D.E.A.D.S is gonna work in the same way too.

Just 12 hours away from getting my second reward at 7 days.

things are in control.
yesterday night, things were getting out of control, but then I used my first D.E.A.D.S delay,escape,accept,dispute and substitute method to tackle the intense pulse and cravings at that time.

Now I am excited to get my second reward.
10 rewards in a row and I will get a movie ticket.

same with deads as well.
although, I am not running after deads, but 10 deads in a row or total 20 deads will also give a movie ticket.
you have no control over deads, because you don't have control over impulse or cravings, and you never know when they show up or don't show up.