looking ahead... my journal

Hi im new here im Mark im 57 and just read a ton of stuff about internet porn which I feel is wrecking my sex life.
I was taking pain killers for like 4 years and had no interest in sex at all strong codeine contin.
anyway it took me a year to kick the pills and my sex drive came back. I had low testerone  so am getting shots for that. the porn just kinda happened and with the free porn and hi speed internet it got worse and worse even taking Viagra once in awhile to get off with the porn. But after reading about this I see I have a problem. I have stopped watching it for a few days. im abit concerned I will fail if I cant at least get myself off once in awhile tho. I understand not to fantasize about porn but what about real life past acts of sex I remember real life not fantasized sex acts is that ok ? I Feel I can stay away from porn but would like that answered by someone ? sorry if its not cool to ask a question on my first post but I would think using my brain to remember past real sex that were great would help me stay away from porn. I was shocked after reading about porn addiction everything I read I went thru the watching more and more vids and making it last by watch more shocking porn. really a wake up call. Reason I started looking as I could not get it up with a old girl friend when we got together it had been a year of no real sex for me just porn but I couldn't get it up even with Viagra. So I know this Porn problem is 100 % real . 

Welcome aboard!  Journal often and read other journals.  Read up on the science at https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ if you haven't already.  Develop a spiritual/mindfulness practice.

You can get better.

As far as fantasy goes, I recommend against it while you are rebooting.  See https://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-no-arousal-method-celibacy-of-body-and-mind.14525/

I occasionally stray into fantasies, but I try not to do it much.  It acts as a trigger.

so thinking about old sex acts that you remember is still fantasy ? I understand thinking about porn is. I have been reading like crazy that's how I knew I had a problem. got rid of easy access to my lap top. im typing this on my main computer which I never used for porn. was always that dam laptop.
Thanks for the reply and links I will read it all 

I think so, yes.  My recommendation is absolutely no thinking about sex if possible while you reboot.  You won't hold to this rule perfectly because you are human, obviously.  However, the less the better.

Im still porn free I also quit the gym I was going to today as theres way to much to look at there via woman in them tight yoga pants. yikes there killer triggers  ;D
gona give this a real shot im still reading others posts and links and stuff. thanks for the replys.

You were right about the thinking about sex.  I relapsed  gona keep trying tho. will read all the links again. I now know what dopamine release is I never even noticed it before but now I see what it is. its strong powerful and I need to get control over this.

Absolutely keep trying.  Relapses happen.  I have tried to quit so many times in my life.  This time by the grace of God I seem to have a good streak.  Just keep trying.  Never give up.  And if the gym triggers you, find another source of exercise.  Exercise is important!

I walk my German shepherd everyday he keeps me fit. yes im gona keep trying im just gona work harder at this. thanks for the reply.