Hello everybody .
So todaday is the day when i take things really seriosly , i kind of feel i sayd that to my self more than 100 times , but never before i wrote it .
Before introducing myself i want to apologyse for grammar mistakes , english is not my mother language .
So i am 30 years old kind off virgin , i was on prostitude once but i my buddy did half work
, i kind off see that coming , but after that moment my life become nightmare , i work as a ballet dancer , so from young age there was a guys that accuse me to be a gay, i had bad comunication with girls , most of them becoming friends of me , that was very strange for me .. why there is no more i ask my self , backthan i think my penis was small , i kind off go in puberty late , so i remember at 15 or 16 i got this porn magazine , and i felt so good becouse i got boner , little time after that i discover masturbation , i didnt even know is a think back than . SO it began ... long time i lied to myself i use porn just becouse girls didnt feel atracted to me , u know i am short no very big muscles and stuff .. years later marijuana join into the mix . Looking back i am proud of my self because even with that problem my study didnt suffer ,and my work going well now . but i still have no girlfrend , never been in relationship , for me aways being a question how to go from friedly talk to more intimate stuff , i quess i have never know because my whole sex experience was a porn , i have been kiss like 2 girls , i remember the boner again , but they cut me fast , from more than 5 years tho i havent been on date , so with begining of 2019 i decide to go to prostetute . it was ugly ,i feel less a man now , i even have that angry issues when i dont smoke weed and watching porn after work at night , its destroyng my life slowly but surely , from january till now i dont stop tryng to stop all of this things , but i feel in trap , i feel like it could not be repaired , there is nobody to speak about that , i dont want to appear week in the eyes of my friends and family , so i keep acting normal fun guy when is daytime , i am ashame of what happen at night , from mouth i stop going out . So i hope now when i wrote that i can keep promise to myself atleast for 30 days , i know it will be hard but i feel more ready than ever to do it , if there is a chance for me to have a normal life , sex , family someday i got to take the chance now i feel that just a little bit and will be to late . so day 1 wish me good luck .
So todaday is the day when i take things really seriosly , i kind of feel i sayd that to my self more than 100 times , but never before i wrote it .
Before introducing myself i want to apologyse for grammar mistakes , english is not my mother language .
So i am 30 years old kind off virgin , i was on prostitude once but i my buddy did half work
, i kind off see that coming , but after that moment my life become nightmare , i work as a ballet dancer , so from young age there was a guys that accuse me to be a gay, i had bad comunication with girls , most of them becoming friends of me , that was very strange for me .. why there is no more i ask my self , backthan i think my penis was small , i kind off go in puberty late , so i remember at 15 or 16 i got this porn magazine , and i felt so good becouse i got boner , little time after that i discover masturbation , i didnt even know is a think back than . SO it began ... long time i lied to myself i use porn just becouse girls didnt feel atracted to me , u know i am short no very big muscles and stuff .. years later marijuana join into the mix . Looking back i am proud of my self because even with that problem my study didnt suffer ,and my work going well now . but i still have no girlfrend , never been in relationship , for me aways being a question how to go from friedly talk to more intimate stuff , i quess i have never know because my whole sex experience was a porn , i have been kiss like 2 girls , i remember the boner again , but they cut me fast , from more than 5 years tho i havent been on date , so with begining of 2019 i decide to go to prostetute . it was ugly ,i feel less a man now , i even have that angry issues when i dont smoke weed and watching porn after work at night , its destroyng my life slowly but surely , from january till now i dont stop tryng to stop all of this things , but i feel in trap , i feel like it could not be repaired , there is nobody to speak about that , i dont want to appear week in the eyes of my friends and family , so i keep acting normal fun guy when is daytime , i am ashame of what happen at night , from mouth i stop going out . So i hope now when i wrote that i can keep promise to myself atleast for 30 days , i know it will be hard but i feel more ready than ever to do it , if there is a chance for me to have a normal life , sex , family someday i got to take the chance now i feel that just a little bit and will be to late . so day 1 wish me good luck .