Loss of Power Fantasies

Deleted

I don't really understand the desire for power. I'm an artist, I just like to make stuff. But I used to get angry really easily and now I hardly do. Anger/anxiety declined dramatically after several months in. After almost a year I'm actually able to sit and chill, I wasn't able to ever do that during my porn days, was pretty much stressed 24/7. I often don't even get angry when I'm insulted or whatever, and when I do get angry it's more just irritation rather than 'blood boiling'.

I don't think you're experiencing any major brain/personality changes six days in though, it's probably placebo, sorry.

Its entierly possible... this addiction fucks the brain inside out, so it stands to reason that ones values and priorities are also compromised by it.
The way I think about it is, if you feel that there is a beneficial change in yourself or your environment, then its because youve stopped PMO and are reaping the benefits. Anything that you would notice as `not being me`, is probably a side effect of the addiction.

Hey!  Totally possible.  Perhaps you used to objectify women before, and it caused you to want to be sucessful to objectify more women.  Perhaps after rebooting you have learned to see your relationship with women in a different perspective enough to change how you view what is important in life.

HumbleRich said:

For a long time I had fantasies about extreme success, of the type that  arcissists are often diagnosed with.  I have never gotten a diagnosis of narcissism, but have gotten diagnosed with ADHS and NVLD (often described as one foot on the Spectrum (autism). 

Rich

Click to expand...

If I were you, I'd disengage from these terms. It's possible you aren't anything, just a guy with a particular set of traits - some of which has been emphasised through the use of porn. I believe most porn addicts suffer a lack of focus and attention - it's possible that porn could affect anybody's score on tests for ADHD. And the learning disorder? Well, you come across as intelligent. You post thoughtfully and structure your ideas well, you're educated, and you've almost completed another qualification, right? How much of a learning disorder do you really think you have, considering that? I think those tests are rarely accurate and there are many false positives. I'd just forget it if I were you.

Please delete this thread.  My ADHD diagnosis preceded my PMOing by about five or six years.  I always have had problems with attention.  Having said that PMOing made it worse.  I came up with ways to overcome my natural ADHD.  PMOing brain fog can't be overcome.  It will knock your brain out entirely.

Also, I think there is slight misunderstanding of what NVLD is, mostly because of the name.  Nonverbal Learning Disability is confusingly named.  It IS NOT the same as being nonverbal.  It is the OPPOSITE.  The individual's verbal abilities are much more advanced than there spatial reasoning and nonverbal communication.  I do have a very mild version, at least now as an adult.  I have worked around it.

Having said all of this, I regret creating this thread as I have started a conversation that I do not feel comfortable with about things that I don't really need to discuss.

Mods please delete this thread if you can.  Thanks.

Rich