On escalation

? Once upon a time, escalation for most young guys just meant turning the next page to see a different nude woman.

? And once they were done with that magazine, they would find another one in their dad's closet, or maybe trade with a friend. 

? But most magazines that were in circulation were more or less vanilla porn, and the only "novelty" we got were different women.  Different poses, different backgrounds, etc.

...But eventually, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. 



*Enter the digital age*





Gone are the days of one-dimensional novelty. 



So I think most of us here have similar stories.  We started out like our fathers and grandfathers before us.  But escalated to all kinds of genres and sub-genres imaginable (and unimaginable). 



From what I've read, it seems like most guys took years to escalate to these very hardcore genres, or develop these very specific fetishes.  If you started watching in your early teens, it's not until the late teens or 20's that most guys escalate to the point of seriously questioning their sexuality. 

I know I'm painting with a broad brush.  I'm only describing the majority of testimonies I've read. 


My question is simple - how fast did you escalate?  To the point where you developed unwanted fetishes?




As for me - I started watching at age 12 - I had hit puberty only 6 months or so prior.  It only took me a matter of weeks to go from vanilla porn to graphic sex scenes, orgies, ganagbangs, and gay porn.  I know it sounds like the making of a psychopath serial killer or something. Why did I escalate so fast?  As opposed to others who escalate over a long period of time? 

My theory is that the speed of escalation corresponds to the magnitude of the emotional void the addict is trying to fill. 

For those who already have most of their emotional needs met, porn could start out as a mild vice.  And gradually chip away at their values as they slowly gravitate towards porn at the expense of pursuing real relationships. 

I had this bottomless pit that I was trying fill with porn.  A whole childhood defined by rejection and ostracism being the cause. 

I don't believe I've heard from anyone else who escalated as fast as I did (who didn't turn out to be serial rapists).


Please tell me about your escalation stories.  I want to hear from you.

I started when I was around 15 or so with just standard MO. I'd think about the girls in my class. I assume that is normal. Porn didn't really start for me until maybe a year later and it was mostly lesbo stuff because I found that, and still do, to be my favorite go-to category. I actually escalated to straight porn from there. I don't really remember much because it wasn't a problem for me as I've only recently (about a month and change) recognized it officially as an addiction. But rewind, it probably took me 8-9+ years to escalate to more hardcore stuff. I was never into the more extreme stuff and I still am not even after all these years. I do question my sexuality but I don't know if that is because of porn (may very well be) or if it's because I'm thinking about it more because it's 2018 and society is doing that now. I've also watched all the things you've listed below. But I guess my story isn't an uncommon one. You said it the best. It started out as a non-problem puberty experimentation, which turned into a mild vice, which slowly developed into an addiction. You're classic frog in water analogy.

Hi lookingahead

As you say, my introduction to porn was similar to yours, through my dad's porn collection (3-4 magazines). It's very hard to determine when the fetishes developed. I have a thing for women's shoes, which I think existed before I discovered porn. I don't know if I can call it a fetish, because I have enjoyed sex with women over the years even if they haven't been wearing high heeled shoes. A fetish is usually needed for sexual release. High heels have just been a sprinkle of icing sugar on the cake for me, but the cake has always been the main focus. Weirdly enough, when I used to go out looking for girls in my late teens and early twenties, I used to check them out in this order. First shoes, then face, then hair and finally breasts. I also have a thing for latex clothes, but I?ve never bought any for myself or any of my partners.

The urge to have anal sex definately had its origins in porn. I know how painful it is for women and I?ve only experienced it a handful of times when I had a partner who wanted to try it (probably because of porn conditioning or having had other boyfriends who insisted on it) and all of them hated it!

I?ve been aroused by many other fetishes which are too disgusting to list here, but I?ve never really wanted to act out on them. However, my passage through the various fetishes really gathered pace with high speed internet.

After porn magazines came VHS cassettes. I used to swap them with friends and I had a collection of about five tapes that I used to watch and rewatch. I would say that my fetishes didn?t escalate over this period.

With the advent of high speed internet things changed. I don?t want to list the kinds of porn because I don?t want to risk planting triggers for anyone. I?ve posted a comment at the end of this post, but be warned it might contain a trigger.

Even high speed internet was quite slow at the beginning (around 1999 - 2000) but it soon increased. I think I hit my personal rock bottom with transexual (I have no problems with transexuals) and sissy porn around 2015. So, my escalation took 15 years, more or less.

I came from an abusive home where beatings where pretty commonplace. I took solace in alcohol in my twenties even though I had several long term relationships with women. There has always been a hole in my life but I don?t think I?m particularly unique in this respect. It's possible that porn and the subsequent dopamine hits were some kind of attempt at filling that hole. I?ve never been abusive to any of my partners, although I had real anger issues in my twenties (alcohol didn?t help). I have punished myself over the years by inflicting pain on myself, but they were pretty rare episodes and only when I felt so numb that I felt I needed to experience something strong to feel alive. I think this is why I escalated to porn which promotes self humiliation, but it?s also a clear sign of desensitisation and escalation also.

I hope this adds to your research a little.



(POSSIBLE TRIGGER FOLLOWING)




However, I do remember finding a scene with female ejaculation (I don?t want to go into too much detail), which I found disgusting and deleted from my hard drive. Six months later, I was actively searching and archiving porn with female ejaculation. I clear sign of desensitisation and escalation.

Hi there,

First, my experience on this board is that EVERYONE who has a porn addiction that is bad enough to be symptomatic (and thus, that they realize they need to quit) has some sort of fetish/escalation.  I don't think I've seen anyone on here that was just "into vanilla porn"... everyone has a go-to of some kind.

It took me a while.  I look occasionally at porn through high school and college (dial-up) and didn't get DSL and my own computer until I was around 22 (I'm 36 now).  I liked mostly vanilla stuff, but stumbled onto pregnant models at some point.  It was really weird.  It triggered lots of emotions... I grew up with scare tactics in health class about teen pregnancy, and I had a very traumatic event in my life where a girlfriend broke up with me and got involved in an abusive relationship, which tore me apart inside.  Long story short there was a pregnancy scare there, and I think it left a mark.  For the last few years of my porn addiction, about 70-80% of my porn consumption was based on my fetish.  Besides that, my tastes remained fairly vanilla.  I never did like hardcore stuff... the aggression/pain aspect of it always made me queasy.

It was a rough one to have, because triggers outside of porn are everywhere.  Also, the whole "I wonder what is happening on the internet..." curiosity that keeps you clicking and clicking is very strong, because there is a fairly narrow window for that stuff, especially if it is live cam stuff.

If anyone wants me to edit this for triggers, please let me know.

Pretty similar to the responses here. Mates would buy magazines or steal them from petrol stations and wed each take turns in taking it home for the night. Sometimes even selecting pics we wanted and cutting them out to keep. We would actually fight over who would take which pic!
Then that led to friends dowlading images and videos and burning them to CDs and passing them around.
After that when I had my own PC I got deeper into it. Now I didnt have to rely on mates giving it to me and constantly watching the same videos, I had free reign to indulge myself (and penis) to an unlimited amount of filth.
But I would have to say that it really escalated when I got a smart phone. Now I had porn everywhere I went, and could acess it anywhere, which I often did. Public toilets, toilets at friends houses, toilets at work, toilets on trains, toilets at the gym, portable toilets (mostly toilets come to think of it), but also stairwells, in the car, on the bus, in change rooms.
So as can be seen, advances in technology do not help porn addicts. The next generation of addicts are gonna have a hard time (no pun intended) getting off (again, no pun intended) should they fall victim to this addiction due to all the new technology!