FlyPhoenix
Active Member
Hi There,
I have about 42 days clean from PMO, porn, M, MO today.
For over 20 years, progressively, I have developed an extreme addiction to porn which led to massive amount of trans porn and a lot of trans escorts, plus females.
I have 444 days clean and sober today, after 15 years of an increasingly desperate and nightmarish drug and alcohol addiction.
Sex addiction plus addiction to substances was the perfect storm that led to me being infected with glandular fever in 2012, got clean 8 months before relapsing on everything.
In 2014, I sobered up after an infection of Hepatitis B, ended up very ill for about 2,5 months, with two stays in hospital, first for 7 days then after not getting well, another stay of 10 days.
I have been struggling to get a handle on the porn addiction which, at certain points, had me down on my knees and contemplating visiting a prostitute and drinking and using again.
Thank God I didn't do any of those things, because there would really be no turning back from that. I have lived a very dark life and sometimes I fear that I will be plunged in that again with all its consequences, but as I stay clean that slowly calms down.
I am sober today and striving to be a good person to my friends and family, a good worker at my company, a good citizen to my country and kind to myself.
My goal is to reduce anxiety levels in myself, increase self-confidence, manage emotions in a healthy way and approach relationships with a spirit of contribution rather than need and selfishness.
I also want to heal my sexuality and ability to be sexual, but also to be able to be emotionally intimate and affectionate and loving. My goal is to be able to express myself, verbally, creatively, physically and spiritually to my fullest potential.
I have about 42 days clean from PMO, porn, M, MO today.
For over 20 years, progressively, I have developed an extreme addiction to porn which led to massive amount of trans porn and a lot of trans escorts, plus females.
I have 444 days clean and sober today, after 15 years of an increasingly desperate and nightmarish drug and alcohol addiction.
Sex addiction plus addiction to substances was the perfect storm that led to me being infected with glandular fever in 2012, got clean 8 months before relapsing on everything.
In 2014, I sobered up after an infection of Hepatitis B, ended up very ill for about 2,5 months, with two stays in hospital, first for 7 days then after not getting well, another stay of 10 days.
I have been struggling to get a handle on the porn addiction which, at certain points, had me down on my knees and contemplating visiting a prostitute and drinking and using again.
Thank God I didn't do any of those things, because there would really be no turning back from that. I have lived a very dark life and sometimes I fear that I will be plunged in that again with all its consequences, but as I stay clean that slowly calms down.
I am sober today and striving to be a good person to my friends and family, a good worker at my company, a good citizen to my country and kind to myself.
My goal is to reduce anxiety levels in myself, increase self-confidence, manage emotions in a healthy way and approach relationships with a spirit of contribution rather than need and selfishness.
I also want to heal my sexuality and ability to be sexual, but also to be able to be emotionally intimate and affectionate and loving. My goal is to be able to express myself, verbally, creatively, physically and spiritually to my fullest potential.