N
Numez
Guest
i just saw my crush in a supermarket. my crush is more than a girl i would like to just meet. my crush is a girl i would like to meet that kind of "tells", with the way she looks and acts towards me, that she feels the same way. my crush crushes me every time i see her because i dont act, i just dont approach and introduce myself, ask about aliens or anything really. i just die inside because im a big weenie.
this is where success part comes in. its not that i approached her, introduced myself, took her number or anything similar. i managed to recognize how much i despise myself in the moment and i asked myself if i could approve/love/accept myself because i am this way? its like i had an insight that approaching girls or doing anything outside of your comfort zone is really about loving yourself more. im really into meeting girls so its a dying feeling every time i see a girl and dont react, especially if she shows some "tells" that she is interested in me too (whatever "tells" i perceive to be true). thats like suicidal feeling afterwards. all the hate i have for myself just comes out firing at me.
going outside of my comfort zone (picking up girls for example) is just really about loving myself more and being okay with myself. its not about the outside going ons, its what going on inside. im so glad i caught myself. if i can love myself the way i am, that would mean even more than approaching girls because it would stay with me and i could do whatever i want if i knew i had love/approval whatever is the outcome. it would also be consistent, because the first time i would fail to pick up a girl or go outside of my comfort zone i would be back at hating myself, which is not good at all.
i dont know if you have this experience. do you hate yourself for engaging almost exclusively in known/comfortable day to day activities (struggling can feel known/comfortable)? does failing to go outside of your comfort zone leaves you feeling stuck and miserable? in other words, do you hate yourself when you fail to do something you really want to do, that causes you a lot of fear or anxiety?
i think approaching and meeting girls is a big part of me quitting porn. just reconnecting and rewiring with the real girls would be huge for me personally, thats why i have this example but i think loving yourself can be applied to everything else.
this is where success part comes in. its not that i approached her, introduced myself, took her number or anything similar. i managed to recognize how much i despise myself in the moment and i asked myself if i could approve/love/accept myself because i am this way? its like i had an insight that approaching girls or doing anything outside of your comfort zone is really about loving yourself more. im really into meeting girls so its a dying feeling every time i see a girl and dont react, especially if she shows some "tells" that she is interested in me too (whatever "tells" i perceive to be true). thats like suicidal feeling afterwards. all the hate i have for myself just comes out firing at me.
going outside of my comfort zone (picking up girls for example) is just really about loving myself more and being okay with myself. its not about the outside going ons, its what going on inside. im so glad i caught myself. if i can love myself the way i am, that would mean even more than approaching girls because it would stay with me and i could do whatever i want if i knew i had love/approval whatever is the outcome. it would also be consistent, because the first time i would fail to pick up a girl or go outside of my comfort zone i would be back at hating myself, which is not good at all.
i dont know if you have this experience. do you hate yourself for engaging almost exclusively in known/comfortable day to day activities (struggling can feel known/comfortable)? does failing to go outside of your comfort zone leaves you feeling stuck and miserable? in other words, do you hate yourself when you fail to do something you really want to do, that causes you a lot of fear or anxiety?
i think approaching and meeting girls is a big part of me quitting porn. just reconnecting and rewiring with the real girls would be huge for me personally, thats why i have this example but i think loving yourself can be applied to everything else.