OVERCOMING CYBER ADDICTION

lyon03

Respected Member
Good morning all. I've decided to start a new thread here about my porn-like cyber addiction. Why? I felt uneasy sharing about my secondary addictions on my other thread which was dedicated to overcoming porn and masturbation. My reboot journey is well documented in the over-40 thread if you'd like to read about me. While I've been over 500 days porn-free, I'm stuck in porn-sub addictions like Facebook, YouTube, and Google searches. I know these are addictions because they feel very porn-like: meaning I've recently lost control over the same. After an almost 20+ year porn habit, I have ZERO desire to watch porn which is liberating. The last day I watched porn was October 29, 2014. While I experienced heavy withdrawal the first 5-6 weeks, I never looked back. I've created this thread to do the exact same thing with my general cyber addiction. Learning from past experiences, I'm going to take the day to define exactly what I want to accomplish and when. Then I'll share it here and get started. Be well everyone. PORN SUBS ARE NOT AN OPTION. 
 
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Numez

Guest
did you heard gary talking about guy looking at swimsuit models? is it porn or porn sub? whats the difference? porn sub = porn! you may as well reset your PMO counter if you jacked off to google images. its not very porn-like, it is porn!

porn is not some hardcore compilation on xxx site, porn is artificial stimulation.

you are here for years you should know this very well, makes me wanna bet that i misunderstood something about your post.
 

lyon03

Respected Member
Thanks for the shout out brother. I'm sorry for the confusion. I haven't looked at any sexual content nor jerked off to a screen showing sexual content for 500+ days. When I refer to porn-subs, I'm referring to wasting time on g-rated things like YouTube, Facebook, and news feeds. This may be the wrong definition so perhaps I should call it a 'cyber addiction'? Anyhow, I'm off the porn and now I just want to stop with a secondary cyber addiction. I hope that makes sense and look forward to your input/comments. Be well.
 
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Numez

Guest
yeah its cyber or internet addiction, that makes sense, good luck.

 

hans32

Member
Oh yes,the other category,cyberdopamine!
Tis good youspoke uip as I am bennifitting greatly by reading
 

lyon03

Respected Member
Morning everyone from Europe. I had a strange Easter weekend staying with gay friends and their family about 1.5 hours from where I live. It was strange but a great learning experience and I'm not motivated enough to share about it here. I've been off YouTube, my biggest porn-like addiction, for 4 days now. I'm deleting Facebook from my phone, don't need that, but was on it from time to time this weekend just out of boredom. I'm not going to re-set my counter because I still feel like I'm making good progress. So I feel like I'm getting a grip on my general cyber addiction. I hope to share more tomorrow or perhaps later this week as I have to get back to work. Still porn-free and fiercely proud of it! PORN AND CYBER ADDICTIONS ARE NOT OPTIONS.
 

vigilantwarrior

Active Member
I've heard how easy it is for us to hook into another addiction. Personally, I enjoy video games when I feel like a non-productive pastime, but if I'm not careful I can binge on those for hours when I least expect it. I'm glad you're tracking this, it's pretty cool to see a unique sig like that  :) Wish you the best mate!

-siphus
 

pfree1805

Active Member
I can relate, yesterday I uninstalled League of Legends after realizing I could not play in moderation.
 

Stevew

Well-Known Member
I play video games for an hour or so then get bored. For me I think I'm addicted to being on the internet somewhat... i went on holiday with no wifi... very painful 2 weeks...
 

lyon03

Respected Member
Day 6: Good morning Reboot Nation! I'm making good progress with my cyber addiction. This is familiar territory because I kicked my life-long addictions to porn, sex, and masturbation. Porn was of course the main addiction and it was the hardest to quit. (Just read my thread in the 40+ forum for more details.) But I digress. I understand that I used my addictions to avoid feeling pain, shame, and painful emotions. I gave up the porn over 500+ days ago, but then compensated with a form of g-rated internet addiction to YouTube, Facebook, and useless online surfing. I get that now. I gave up one form of addiction for another. I've reached an interesting turning point in my cyber addiction. I know this because I went through the same thing with masturbation. I'd given up my porn and masturbation addictions and, not surprisingly, my body really wanted both. I suffered very painful withdrawal. My balls felt like watermelons but still I resisted. I think it was around the 100-day mark that I finally broke down and masturbated. But it was HUGELY unsatisfying. I realized the build up to masturbating and all of the fantasizing about how great it would be to jerk off were much more of a dopamine hit than tugging it for 5-10 mins with a messy ending. This is where I am with my cyber addiction. I still go on Facebook daily, but it now feels hollow and unsatisfying. I'm still off YouTube which is a victory. Addiction is truly when something will never be enough. So I'm in a phase of diminishing returns for my cyber addiction and I like it. That's all I have to share today my friends.
 

Gabriel1960

Active Member
Lyon03

I consider myself one of your "posse."

How are you defining cyber addiction?  Are you suggesting going off the grid? 

I've been off Facebook for about nine years, and don't see ever going back.  But isn't the internet also just a way to communicate, like a telephone or fax machine? 

I work behind a computer screen all day.  I send/receive emails, perform internet research, blah, blah blah. 

I also research the current behavioral health successes related to PMO addiction.  Where do we draw the line with using the internet for addictive purposes?    Are you planning on leaving the grid?

Thanks,

Gabriel
 
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Numez

Guest
you cross the line when you waste time scrolling down the feed and you are aware that you are spending too much time online but have difficulty cutting back.
 

motai63

Member
In the world we live today, it is very difficult to not use the internet on a daily basis. Work related use is a must for most of us. I think if you put a daily limit on the entertainment use, for example Facebook and Youtube or whatever that might be, there should be no reason to discontinue access. It's more of a substitute for the time we used to spend watching t.v.. I think setting personal limits on these activities would be a good way to control usage and if you set goals for spending time with actual people every day you will find some balance. I personally can't stand video games, I never did get into that. I'd rather watch a sporting event or even a good action/ adventure movie than waste time playing virtual games. That's just me though. I don't believe any of these activities are necessarily harmful unless they are interfering with interpersonal relationships.
 

jjacks

Active Member
Glad to stumble on this thread. Thanks for starting this topic. I think it is relevant. Cyber addiction is a real problem, and internet-induced social dysfunction probably has a lot in common with PIED in terms of cause and cure. This is especially important in these days where so much of work forces us to stay on our devices for long perids of time and with Covid, where hugging a friend is virtually forbidden and being online is sort of all we have left.

I think we need to start by recognizing that so-called social networks are really anti-social by nature. They encourage synchronous back-and-forth monologues rather than real dialogue. You can say what you want and walk away from it. No voice intonation or body language or context -- a smiley does not replace a smile. Little to distinguish truth from falsehood. Warmth from distance. They are not a replacement for inter-personal interaction. A facebook friend is just a byte out there in a database, not someone you have shared experiences with over time or that you can count on if you are in need. So the right thing is to dump the social networks. (They are also a security risk for those who post their entire lives for the public to see.)

Consider the alternatives. It may not be easy for those who do not know what life was like before we had the ability to walk around with network-enabled devices in hand. Think hard before going to google something. You probably have the answer to most important things somewhere in your brain and you can probably get through the day without knowing Jennifer Lopez’ birthday or salary. Use your phone in voice mode when you want to reach out to someone. Feel the warmth and spontaneity of friendship in a friend’s voice.

I can go on --try off-line entertainment and communication – jigsaw and crossword puzzles, painting, reading, nature walks. Historical or travel documentaries. (Try “rendez vous en terre inconnue”, a trip without mobile devices). It is springtime in the northern hemisphere, a time to get out and enjoy the outdoors for many of us who have been indoors for a lot of time recently.

Looking forward to hearing real alternatives to the antisocial networks.
 
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