StartingOffNew
Member
So, I guess I'll give this a try. I am 29 years old. I realized I was having a problem with erectile dysfunction with my last girlfriend. She was kind and supportive about it, but I could tell she felt bad, meaning she thought it was her fault, even though I assured her it wasn't. We ended up breaking up for unrelated reasons.
But now I'm dating another girl and I really like her. I want to be able to have sex with her, and for it to be fulfilling for both of us.
I've masturbated for almost every day for the past couple of years, usually taboo fetish porn, usually in the form of erotic literature. I never thought that this would negatively affect my sex life. On the contrary: I thought constant masturbation would increase my control during sex and make me a better lover, less likely to prematurely ejaculate.
I don't really 100 percent know if I understand or agree with the theory behind "rebooting." But honestly, it seems to click with me, because that first time I realized I had ed, it sort of clicked: My girlfriend can't do with her hand what I can do with my hand. If I'm only able to just barely satisfy with a concerted effort with my hand, how can she hope to bring me to orgasm with hers? I realized that I needed to get my sensitivity back, and it makes sense that less masturbation will mean more sensitivity.
Today is my first full day without masturbation since yesterday. I've been trying on and off since I started dating this new girl to try and go off the porn, but it hasn't stuck. I need to make it stick. I need to try this.
Edit: I just wanted to add something. I don't think there is anything morally wrong with porn, even the extreme kind, as long as it is consensual or purely fantasy, like literature. People are entitled to their fantasies, even the weird ones. The whole no porn thing turned me off big time when I was first exposed to it, because it came with these really judgey moral tones. I don't think watching porn has made me a bad person, it's just affecting my body and relationships in a way I don't like. I took to this site because it explicitly says that they are not anti-porn. Just against abusing it. If that wasn't clear, I don't think I would have been as open to a site like this. At least for me personally.
But now I'm dating another girl and I really like her. I want to be able to have sex with her, and for it to be fulfilling for both of us.
I've masturbated for almost every day for the past couple of years, usually taboo fetish porn, usually in the form of erotic literature. I never thought that this would negatively affect my sex life. On the contrary: I thought constant masturbation would increase my control during sex and make me a better lover, less likely to prematurely ejaculate.
I don't really 100 percent know if I understand or agree with the theory behind "rebooting." But honestly, it seems to click with me, because that first time I realized I had ed, it sort of clicked: My girlfriend can't do with her hand what I can do with my hand. If I'm only able to just barely satisfy with a concerted effort with my hand, how can she hope to bring me to orgasm with hers? I realized that I needed to get my sensitivity back, and it makes sense that less masturbation will mean more sensitivity.
Today is my first full day without masturbation since yesterday. I've been trying on and off since I started dating this new girl to try and go off the porn, but it hasn't stuck. I need to make it stick. I need to try this.
Edit: I just wanted to add something. I don't think there is anything morally wrong with porn, even the extreme kind, as long as it is consensual or purely fantasy, like literature. People are entitled to their fantasies, even the weird ones. The whole no porn thing turned me off big time when I was first exposed to it, because it came with these really judgey moral tones. I don't think watching porn has made me a bad person, it's just affecting my body and relationships in a way I don't like. I took to this site because it explicitly says that they are not anti-porn. Just against abusing it. If that wasn't clear, I don't think I would have been as open to a site like this. At least for me personally.