Can't keep wasting my time

Well, I was 11 or 12 years old when I first met internet porn, now I'm 19.
At first I would barely look for some photographs, then some videos, after that it became more and more usual to look for porn on the internet until last year that I pmoed just every day.
I've never been too extroverted I guess it's my personality, but from 4 years to now it has gone too far. I feel anxiety every time I have to meet people I don't know, or even the ones I know. I have a complete lack of confidence but also energy to do the things I must do and that's bringing me problems at college and relationships.
A couple of years ago I had a girlfriend for a year. We hadn't had sex before and lost our virginity together so I guess she wasn't too disappointed with my performance. On the other hand I knew the bitter truth: I had and still have premature ejaculation. Unbelievably PE didn't destroy our relationship, it was my social anxiety. (I have to say I'm not sure about if I really have social anxiety, I haven't been to a psychiatrist).
She split with my because of my behaviour and it was quite hard for me, pmo was my painkiller at that time.
Later I met my actual girlfriend, we've been together for a year and she is just amazing, I can't fuck everything up again, she doesn't deserve all the pain my social anxiety can cause. She knows I have PE and until now it hasn't been a problem, anyway, I want to defeat it and I think rebooting will help me.
I also think my mild social anxiety can be cured with rebooting, and I want to stop it before it becomes a severe problem.

I ran into YBOP and Reboot Nation last August and since then I've been trying to reboot without results. The only reason I'm here is just to encourage myself and don't fall into temptation. (Just talking in medical terms, I'm an atheist).
Thanks for reading.

pmohead:

Glad you made it here.  This forum has a lot of encouraging stories about rebooting.  It takes time, patience, and a lot of effort.  You have spent years corrupting your brain with porn.  It will take time to filter out the muck.  Don't get discouraged.  Keep trying.  If you fail then start again.  If you fail again start again.  Never never never give up.

Your life will change for the better once your have completely eliminated PMO.  That statement doesn't mean everything will be perfect for you.  Life has challenges and none of us can escape the shit life throws at us.  BUT, with clear eyes and a clear mind you will be able to handle it better.

You can do this.  We are here to help.

I really appreciate that words.

Adding a couple of things:

I think I might have some kind of internet addiction. I've always used internet without almost any restriction and two days ago I decided to block via opendns all the porn, social networks... etc. Just whitelisted the websites I need to use while studying, YBOP and Reboot Nation (so that if I started craving for porn I could read some success stories or just post some words).
I also configured a parental control at the phone cause it was going too far (almost 2 hours a day using whatsapp), so that I could use it an hour before going to sleep. BUT JUST AN HOUR.

Yesterday withdrawal symptoms were quite hard, but today I just couldn't cope with it and threw the mobile lock to the trash.
Also started to have a lot of dark thoughts about my girlfriend, believing I'm a piece of shit... Depression.
At least I haven't PMOed yet. lol

I will probably block Reboot Nation and YBOP after sending this message, today I've been like 5 hours reading stories LOL I must throw this freakin internet addiction away. But I wont forget about this, I will come back to talk about the progress.

I hope this really works, regards
PMOhead


PS: don't missunderstand me, all that LOLs are just attempts to have a little sense of humor, in fact I'm devastated right now.
      Even thought, I'm hopeful, I'm sure I can cope with this.

PMOhead.....  Very encouraged for you.  I myself am 44, and let me tell you.....  catching this, and understanding this at this point in your life is huge.  Be proud of yourself, as many of us let this go on for decades.

Stay strong....  you're on the right road.

Cheers!

p.

Thank you Poker, best wishes!

Today I'm going through the flat line, severe withdrawal symptoms. Painful headache and dark thoughts (non suicidal of course).
Dunno what to do with my life, peers, etc. Severe social anxiety too.

I hope the time passes quickly -.-"

You're doing great so far....  there is a reason its call addiction.  It is not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.

Thanks!
Today I had lunch with some friends and no withdrawal symptoms appered. Cool stuff