eljoeyjojo
Member
Hey Fellas, My name is Joey and I'm 35. Just finished reading Your Brain on Porn about 2 weeks ago and at first I was very excited but now I'm beginning to question myself. In the last 66 days I only relapsed twice and a few days later I had sex with my girlfriend but something really weird happened. I had stayed strong and about 40 days in I wanked it twice pretty much, one day at night and then the next morning which I felt terrible after doing. My gf and I haven't been dating for a long time so we we're "waiting" for the right time which in theory sounded like a really good idea. Prior to that I would make out with her and get massive erections but she would stop me 'cause she wasn't ready so I thought nothing of it except wait till we have it.
About 3 weeks ago things were getting hot and heavy and we decided to do it but surely after I started I immediately lost interest and started losing my erection though I did finish within about 5 minutes 'cause it had been a while without wanking it I guess. My gf noticed and mentioned that I wasn't even hard so I played it off with some poor excuse and she kinda let it go. About 4 days after that again we were making out and decided we move to the bedroom and then immediately lost the very little erection I had. She felt (feels) terrible I felt (feel) less of a man and then I had to come clean and tell her I was doing NoFap for about 35 days before I met her and that I might have a problem. It was possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, I felt so ashamed and useless but it needed to be said. My gf got very upset at first and then eventually supported me in on this journey.
I am now on day 66 without any relapses since that day but ever since that horrible night in my bedroom I can't seem to get an erection from her. Which is very strange considering I could get erections making out with her all the time just weeks before that happened. I could possibly have sex with her but I know I'd have to go into my own head and fantasize about all the messed up things just to get an erection. My gf is very pretty and she has some really nice tits and I know that but why can't I get aroused by her? Now I feel I have to make up for that night so I'm thinking about fantasizing, getting hard and then having sex with her but I feel that would be counter productive. I read about guys my age saying that their girlfriends wouldn't do it anymore but eventually it changed and I'm getting worried there might be something really messed up with me. To make things worse there is this girl I met in the same building I work at who I would occasionally talk to and eventually got her number. Needless to say we started saying some messed up stuff and she might also be into the same sick shit I am so now just thinking about meeting this girl and performing my fantasies with her arouses me immediately while if I think of just vanilla sex with my gf it just doesn't do it for me. Another thing that worries is me that if I do go and practically cheat on my gf by role playing my fantasies with this other girl, wouldn't that also be counter productive? I mean just having vanilla sex with this girl doesn't get me that excited, a little bit but it's probably because she's new girl and as guys we tend to be sexually attracted to what we never had before. If I picture my gf in that fantasy scenario it doesn't play out the same, I find it demeaning and I wouldn't ask her to do it. All I really wanna do is get to that level of having vanilla sex with my gf, get consistent erections and forget about my fantasies but at the moment all that seems so far away.
Any other men out there going through or gone through the same thing I'm going through? I know this is suppose to be a process of up to 1 year but any kind of feedback, opinions would be greatly appreciated.
About 3 weeks ago things were getting hot and heavy and we decided to do it but surely after I started I immediately lost interest and started losing my erection though I did finish within about 5 minutes 'cause it had been a while without wanking it I guess. My gf noticed and mentioned that I wasn't even hard so I played it off with some poor excuse and she kinda let it go. About 4 days after that again we were making out and decided we move to the bedroom and then immediately lost the very little erection I had. She felt (feels) terrible I felt (feel) less of a man and then I had to come clean and tell her I was doing NoFap for about 35 days before I met her and that I might have a problem. It was possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, I felt so ashamed and useless but it needed to be said. My gf got very upset at first and then eventually supported me in on this journey.
I am now on day 66 without any relapses since that day but ever since that horrible night in my bedroom I can't seem to get an erection from her. Which is very strange considering I could get erections making out with her all the time just weeks before that happened. I could possibly have sex with her but I know I'd have to go into my own head and fantasize about all the messed up things just to get an erection. My gf is very pretty and she has some really nice tits and I know that but why can't I get aroused by her? Now I feel I have to make up for that night so I'm thinking about fantasizing, getting hard and then having sex with her but I feel that would be counter productive. I read about guys my age saying that their girlfriends wouldn't do it anymore but eventually it changed and I'm getting worried there might be something really messed up with me. To make things worse there is this girl I met in the same building I work at who I would occasionally talk to and eventually got her number. Needless to say we started saying some messed up stuff and she might also be into the same sick shit I am so now just thinking about meeting this girl and performing my fantasies with her arouses me immediately while if I think of just vanilla sex with my gf it just doesn't do it for me. Another thing that worries is me that if I do go and practically cheat on my gf by role playing my fantasies with this other girl, wouldn't that also be counter productive? I mean just having vanilla sex with this girl doesn't get me that excited, a little bit but it's probably because she's new girl and as guys we tend to be sexually attracted to what we never had before. If I picture my gf in that fantasy scenario it doesn't play out the same, I find it demeaning and I wouldn't ask her to do it. All I really wanna do is get to that level of having vanilla sex with my gf, get consistent erections and forget about my fantasies but at the moment all that seems so far away.
Any other men out there going through or gone through the same thing I'm going through? I know this is suppose to be a process of up to 1 year but any kind of feedback, opinions would be greatly appreciated.