I can't do this anymore

Today is Day 90 of my reboot, and what I once thought would be glorious has been complete Hell. My libido all of a sudden came raging back today and I couldn't help but fantasize all day. I get out of the cold showers still horny. I've made it this far and now I know I'm just reversing all my progress with my fantasies. I bet it would be more beneficial to just MO but I refuse to do that. All I can do now is endure more sleepless nights and sit on my hands all day. There seems to be no escaping this medical condition... I struggled to get even the slightest bit aroused with a girl tonight. This is the end.

It's only the end if you give up. Addiction recovery doesn't take the same path for everyone. Gabe talks about his taking nearly a year for him to be fully recovered.

I'm coming up to my 90 day mark and have my ups and downs just like anyone else. It seems that lately I am having stronger urges to relapse than the middle.

I will say cold showers don't help at all science suggest they actually raise your testosterone levels which is going to contribute to having a raised libido so I would suggest giving up the cold showers. Beyond the fact that they don't help it's winter cold showers suck.

Find some activities to do to keep your mind from having time for fantasies. Learn a new skill or language doing something productive to keep your brain away from the bad places. You can do this you can make it.

Thanks for the reply. I'm gonna try to take a spiritual route this time

Honestly you're doing great man!  The important part is you're not acting on these fantasies.  That means they are losing their grip!  You see?

yellowbrickroad said:

Thanks for the reply. I'm gonna try to take a spiritual route this time

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M.O to touch may not be harmful. But, it's too early. Recovery is tricky. After regular cold exposure, cold showers won"t have the initial effects.
BUT, workout vigorously, do some HIIT, fasting and mindfulness practice. If you focus on something healthy in life, you'll have extra motivation.
I read a quote in a website once, it says:    Stop masturbating. Keep your energy to fuck life not to fuck yourself".
The guys was pretty right.

I have nearly the same thing here. I'm heated up, but I don't wanna take risks. So, I keep my energy, and, I fuck life very well, without ED or PE/DE.

Thats a great achievement! Get your fucking head together! Dont throw away all of that for nothing.
Try a spiritual route as you mentioned, it can add great strength to your recovery. But youve gotten this far already so i think you can do it! Just stop acting like a whiny little Emo bitch and get some fucking confidence! Youve earned it!

Fappion

yoga nad playing an instrument are helping me a lot. Takes my mind off of things. I would encourage you take beginners yoga.

Also, I cant but help fantasize too some days more frequently than others. When sex does cros smy mind I try to gear it toward actual memories of me having sex or about women I am dating, not porn. I have not been fantasy free but I have seen progress in my ED. So I don't think fantasy is killing your progress although it may be slowing you down a bit. hope this helps, stay strong!

what you don't want to do is sit home every day thinking about the reboot and sex. That would be hard. Try to get out of the house even if it is going for a drive to your favorite music. Or make more plans than usual, hit the gym an extra time per week. I think the best way to attack this is to not think about the reboot and keep busy. That is what I did and now I am seeing progress. You will too in time. I did not see any progress until 1 month of soft mode and 50 days of hard mode. so it takes time.

I agree with Gambit.  Being inside the house with nothing to do is a recipe for chaos.  Get off the computer chair and do something.  It seriously makes things so much easier.  If you don't currently go to the gym, get a gym membership, you'll love the GAINS BRO.  haha

Yeah as others have said, just get the fuck out of your house and out of your head! Do some exercise or something at least useful with your life for Christ's sake! You hit 90 days, youve had a bit of a cry, now keep going until you are fuckin proper cured!

Sgt. Fap

Congrats on going 90 days... I can't even beat 7 days... and I've been trying for like three years dude.

Fuck.

Like others have said, Gabe took nine months or something and many others have experienced that as well. Good luck, don't quit, not after 90 days. Try to channel your sexual energy into something else, like the gym for example.