Opening a new front on the war

Hello fellow  Addicts Rebooters  champions  and anyone else reading this

    My name is Mike  aged 48  and a porn addict

                My subject is  "opening a new front on the war"  on the war to free myself from porn addiction and its related evils. I say this because I have already began the process of leaving porn behind  and this website is another tool in that war  As time goes on I will touch on the other tools I have been using  I have done a fair amount of reading of others journals  on this site  as well as others  so have an idea of how things in general work here  and I really believe this site  may be a valuable tool  in my recovery

            I will start by saying I am not here to discuss the morality of porn , that is for others  I'm sure it may have its place  but not for me  any longer  and my reasons for wanting to leave it behind are mine and mine alone.  I will not judge anyone  for their views on the topic or  tell them how they should be conducting their reboot, and I hope I will be extended the same courtesy.  What I will do is offer encouragement and a listening ear.  I will also  listen to the encouragement  given to me  and use it to enhance my  recovery where I can.  With that being said  If I don't  agree with a piece of advice  I will gently remind  the giver  of such advice that I  disagree and  would like to  not be pushed  or judged  or told I am wrong and  I will not do that to others.  This is my reboot for my reasons.  Having done a  fair amount of reading here I realize that there are some  partners  of addicts here on the site that have been hurt horribly  over  there partners porn use/addiction.  I will not pretend to  understand your pain.  Just as I'm sure  you cannot understand the pain an addict goes through.  I have a partner of the last 15 years  She knows I  was into porn before we got together  and ask me to not involve her in my "viewing"  which I respected  She does not know it began to escalate as our marriage went forward and I am now to the point of  saying that my  porn habit  has escalated to a point I consider(and I'm sure she would agree) that its unmanageable for me    so its time for me to  leave it behind  and move on to something  more  productive  and enjoyable

      At the end of the day  I intend to fight this  battle alone and  I do not intend to include anyone in the real world  in assisting me

      I will fight it alone or with the help  of a few people  here on this site

                So we begin    Day 1

           
 
    I began with my dads playboy mags when i was  around 12 or so  than  onto his old vhs tapes  and of course on to internet porn  streaming exc.  over the last year it has somewhat changed  to not so much viewing porn but rather hanging in chat rooms  and sexting there  This has really bitten  into my free time  and has left me confused as to who I am  due to the content of such chats  So I will begin my battle with this  today I will go to the chat site  and begin a chat  in an open room  using certain key words that I have seen get people banned from the whole site for usually 2 weeks  on the second offence it  can get you banned for up to 3 months and so on  this ban goes against the ip address  of my computer  so you cant even re register on the site using a different user name

    I am heading there now  I will let you know how it goes

    good luck  and its now or never



   

Off and runnng  1 day clean  I know some people dont like the counting days concept but for now till I think of other things to post it will have to do

    Its now or never  gonna leave porn behind

Congratulations on making this commitment and in getting off to a good start.  The warfare concept is an appropriate description of the journey ahead but the battle can be won.  Keep giving us a good song Pianoman !

Thanks for the welcome  Jixu

things going good  managed to get the chatroom i used to frequent to ban me  and wow did it take effort  1st the moderator did not want to take me serious  and thought it was all a big joke  than i tried a few different things  ie  using a different language (which they will ban you for)  but the just kept warning me    this went on for an hour    than people in the room thought i was just being an idiot  you would think  in 2019    people understand  addiction  but i guess not  I actually had a few people contact me and tell me they too were addicted to chat  and or porn  so i gave them the info for ybop  and this site  finally i figured out you can report anyone  in the room  if you  have a complaint  so i attempted to report the moderator  for being unprofessional  Bang i was banned in less then 20 seconds    problem solved    so onto  finishing day 2  tty tomorrow

    Its now or never

day 3 and all is good  lots to do  and keep busy living in the real world

  its now or never

Nothing wrong with counting days ... makes you feel good when it goes up and kick-in-the-pant lessons when you reset it.

Stick with the program ... it works (964 days in here)

-JJ