Help! I still am worthy of living a life!

Sometimes i just want to give up and kill myself...i already tried several times but failed. I dont have a girlfriend and never had one. I never had a sexual interaction. I Never cuddled somebody, never... interactions with women were very few because i am afraid of them, i was bullied by them and molested in my childhood and teen years. I dont know how to change my life anymore because i know i have alot of work to do if i want to have a nurturing social life...but i am completly alone in this and i am 22 years old i am tired of failing and trying again. I dropped out of university, i wasnt able to handle it. And now i am completly alone in this, i literally have nobody, i have no friends in my homeland, i am completly left behind by the people that i wanted to be with. I dont really know if one day i am really going to recover from this and to live my youth to its fullest, time is running out! this scares me as fuck. My brain only learned shit, it had not one single opportunity to learn the natural thing in this life... So i am here asking for help for the first time, does anyone want to be my accountability partner? Can you leave some helpful advice? I dont want to waste the rest that is left of my youth in this shit life anymore.

Do you have the possibility of getting professional help? From your post it sounds like you have depression.

We are all alone in this. Sure we have this forum, supportive people if we are lucky, but in the end you can have all the supportive people in the world and still fail, like many on this forum. You need to muster the will and inner strength to beat this. No one can do it for you. Dont look to the world for help, look within where you will find  the eternal flame. Dont be a victim. Beat this and take your life back. Get a hobby. Also stop beating yourself up, you are only perpetuating the shame cycle which inevitable leads you to your pants at your ankles again.

Feel free to P.M me whenevr if you need someone to talk to.

pfree1805 said:

Do you have the possibility of getting professional help? From your post it sounds like you have depression.

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I have been thinking about it...i already discussed this with people and they have the same oppinion of yours. I am pondering to get professional help.

Devo22 said:

We are all alone in this. Sure we have this forum, supportive people if we are lucky, but in the end you can have all the supportive people in the world and still fail, like many on this forum. You need to muster the will and inner strength to beat this. No one can do it for you. Dont look to the world for help, look within where you will find  the eternal flame. Dont be a victim. Beat this and take your life back. Get a hobby. Also stop beating yourself up, you are only perpetuating the shame cycle which inevitable leads you to your pants at your ankles again.

Feel free to P.M me whenevr if you need someone to talk to.

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Thanks Devo22, nice words you are damn right. The thing is that i have lots of planning and learnning and effort ahead of me. I have no other chance than to really do it.

steadyrock said:

I have been thinking about it...i already discussed this with people and they have the same opinion of yours. I am pondering to get professional help.

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If you have the financial capability to do it I strongly recommend it, it can really help. Try to find someone recognized for treating porn/sex addiction., or behavioral addiction.

Life is a gift. If you were to die and have a life review today, what would you want to see? I am sure that there are still many things that you want to do, many hopes that you hold within your heart -thank God there is still time! You are so young and have so many beautiful years ahead of you where you can do so much good in such a broken world that NEEDS YOU. Just think about how many people there are out there who need YOUR help.

On breaking addictions. I have heard of many success stories for those who are wanted to break the chains of their addiction to pornography. This is very serious because you are in a spiritual war my friend, no kidding, this is no joke: just look at videos of Alice Von Hildebrand, the widow of Hitler's Enemy number one during WWII and you will come to understand ( typer her name into Youtube search engine). Also, if you doubt the spiritual realm I highly recommend The Rite, the book, NOT the movie. Fight this war with Truth, Faith, Hope, Love and most importantly Prayer-but know that you must come to prayer with a pure, honest and true heart, which might take time.

Think of all the things that you have to be thankful for. Use your life to help others-become humble (easier said than done). Find great role models and try to model your life after them-but at the same time know that you are unique and specially made by God. Prayers: pray three times: "Hail Mary the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus. " and then say, " O my Mother, preserve me this day (or night) from mortal sin."
Remember Satan wants you to worry, he wants you to be sad, he wants you to be his. Protect yourself from him with the armor of God.

In the case that you are not comfortable with Catholic prayers: find an image of Ecce Homo, you can find it at this website, along with a beautiful article witnessing to it's power :

https://americaneedsfatima.org/Marriage/the-ecce-homo-a-remedy-for-domestic-discord.html

Print the image. Kneel down and contemplate it for three minutes every time you are tempted. THen say three Our Fathers.