My journal and start of my journey

Hi all, so I'm new to this but I guess it all started when i entered an intimate relationship and finding myself unable to perform or orgasm. I thought it was just nerves but it never subsided, sometimes I couldn't get hard, others I could keep an erection but I've never been able to finish in my girlfriend and it's been tough for both of us.

So recently I thought I'd stop cold turkey on porn and even went as far as adding a content filter through my ISP. I'm now on my 7th day of no PMO and started watching and reading content on the side effects of P, I always thought it was "normal" but when watching others talk about the same issues I'm suffering from it's making my realise that this is anything but normal.

Anyway, I'm on the start of my journey and will keep this updated on my progress.

That?s a big step. Congrats and best of luck. You can definitely do this like so many others have. Sometimes quitting is a one and done, often it?s a drawn out process. For most, it seems like sustainable recovery requires identifying the triggers that make you want to look at  P and finding ways to deal with them more constructively. I look forward to watching  your success story unfold.  Cheers

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I think my biggest triggers are boredom and previously a lack of any partner. I would feel depressed sometimes and getting access to P is so easy and got me that quick fix it became a daily habit. Hell it became a routine of doing this before sleeping, or first thing in the morning, sometimes multiple times a day.

So now I'm staying away from my pc and trying to avoid as.much suggestive content as possible. Ive taken up my hobby of model painting more often and even back to doing DIY round the house. So far it seems to be working but one thing I've picked up on is not being complacent and to take each day as it's own.

So yesterday was day 9 PMO free and it went mostly well. It wasn't until late in the evening when I was feeling bored at my computer and I could sense the feeling creeping inside. So in the end I turned it off and went to sleep early and watched some Southpark.

Now it's the start of day 10 PMO free and I'll be taking this and every day one by one.

Nice work man! Seems like sometimes the best thing is to remove self from the situation. So much easier said than done. Definitely meaningful to collect those victories. Keep it up!

Well today is day 12 and I'm glad to be here. Yesterday I had a substantial craving for PMO which was induced from a triggering image. It was simply part of a meme I was scrolling through and had enough skin on display to make my mind go mental. Still I stayed my course as difficult as it was and tried to keep myself occupied. Must have taken a good 40mins before I could get it out of my head. Boy that was a tough evening, still I'm now on day 12 and for me this is reaching the most I've ever gone.

@reboot4good thank man, this whole thing means alot to me and my girlfriend so embracing every victory is how I'm going to tackle this each day.

Well yesterday was both a sad and in a way positive day. I basically went 17 days without any PMO and was feeling good and in control, then yesterday I was getting some really uncontrollable urges and eventually I MO. Now I'm a bit disappointed that I did this but at the same time, i never used P or even fantasy, i was pretty much on a hair trigger and it went.

So initially yes I was in the dissatisfaction camp of failing yet I'm putting a positive spin on it, I didn't use porn and also went the longest so far without masturbation in like 20 something years. To succeed you need to fail and learn from it, I did essentially run one out but not using P and I feel that those silly kinks i had to use before are relaxing, I mean yesterday anything was setting me off which again is completely new to me.

So yes, now its day 1 again of no PMO but I'm not letting this mishap beat me down, I've stopped smoking, I've stopped narcotics, I can stop this as well.

When we fall, we are those who get back up. It's just a part of being human really. So let the disappointment be there, but not take over. Way to go man.