C
changemylife
Guest
I've been masturbating since I was 5 or 6 years old. I don't even know how I've started but, somehow, I've learned how to lie face down, rub my dick against the bed and stimulate myself, mentally, to orgasm. I didn't know it was called "masturbation". For a period of time, I did it without porn. I must've been 13 or so when I understood how to do it with my hand, I found out what it was called and that my practice and this were the same thing.
My first encounter with porn came in the form of nudity from movies then pictures but I've begun watching Softcore movies at the end of every week, after midnight, when I was 14.
I got Internet at 16 and I watched Hardcore porn daily. For about 12 years, I masturbated everyday, as many times as I could, and never without porn since I've installed Internet. After that, I've reduced PMO sessions to sometimes once, sometimes twice or three times a week, never progressing past that. I've had a few streaks away from porn and masturbation but that's it. I've never completed even 1 month.
As far as I could remember, I've always had social anxiety. But as far as I could remember, I always masturbated. Maybe the excessive masturbation has created my social anxiety, or, at least, it has made it worse. One thing I can tell for sure: My social anxiety was worse than ever after I'd started watching porn daily. Sometimes I watched without masturbating, just watching movies like that. It has to be some correlation.
I've never could make friends easily and I could never maintain them too much either. I can count on my fingers how many friends I've had in my life, never more than 2 at the same time. The majority of time just 1. Since I was 22, I've lost my 2 friends and I've become completely lonely. I suffered from crippling social anxiety, crippling depression, panic and panic attacks. Because of them, I've isolated myself, unable to leave my home. Also, because of this lifestyle, I abused alcohol and I've become addicted to Internet.
In six years, since I've graduated from college, I've only worked for a total of 5 months. I've never had a girlfriend, I'm a virgin, I've never been on a date and I can't talk to girls. Masturbation and porn have turned me into a passive, scared, docile, submissive little boy. Girls don't want guys like that.
I am 28 years old and I am a porn addict, an Internet addict and, to some extent, alcohol addict. My lifestyle in the present is as laughable as it's been in the last 6 years. It's pathetic.
My first encounter with porn came in the form of nudity from movies then pictures but I've begun watching Softcore movies at the end of every week, after midnight, when I was 14.
I got Internet at 16 and I watched Hardcore porn daily. For about 12 years, I masturbated everyday, as many times as I could, and never without porn since I've installed Internet. After that, I've reduced PMO sessions to sometimes once, sometimes twice or three times a week, never progressing past that. I've had a few streaks away from porn and masturbation but that's it. I've never completed even 1 month.
As far as I could remember, I've always had social anxiety. But as far as I could remember, I always masturbated. Maybe the excessive masturbation has created my social anxiety, or, at least, it has made it worse. One thing I can tell for sure: My social anxiety was worse than ever after I'd started watching porn daily. Sometimes I watched without masturbating, just watching movies like that. It has to be some correlation.
I've never could make friends easily and I could never maintain them too much either. I can count on my fingers how many friends I've had in my life, never more than 2 at the same time. The majority of time just 1. Since I was 22, I've lost my 2 friends and I've become completely lonely. I suffered from crippling social anxiety, crippling depression, panic and panic attacks. Because of them, I've isolated myself, unable to leave my home. Also, because of this lifestyle, I abused alcohol and I've become addicted to Internet.
In six years, since I've graduated from college, I've only worked for a total of 5 months. I've never had a girlfriend, I'm a virgin, I've never been on a date and I can't talk to girls. Masturbation and porn have turned me into a passive, scared, docile, submissive little boy. Girls don't want guys like that.
I am 28 years old and I am a porn addict, an Internet addict and, to some extent, alcohol addict. My lifestyle in the present is as laughable as it's been in the last 6 years. It's pathetic.