NoFap Journal - #PMOFree2020

Hi everyone,

I'm going to make this simple -

1). I'm absolutely done with Porn
2). I'm absolutely done with Masturbation
3). I'm absolutely done with Orgasm

Everyday, I wake up feeling tired, my brain is fogged up, and I can't even think straight. My memory is down in the gutter, sleep is everywhere, eyes look puffy and tired 24/7, and I'm making stupid decisions, which has just been going on for the last 15 years too.

On my days off, I literally just lay on my bed, and fap for 7-8 hours a day, take a break for dinner, and then maybe fap once more, and finally, off to bed.

I have dreams and goals, the same goals I had since I was 18, and I've not achieved any of them. Life regarding my family has been utterly dreadful, and I'm in a job that I don't really want.

I remember when I was a kid, and early teens. Things just used to fall my way, and I've read up a lot on sexual energy, and how semen retention may actually be pivotal for the law of attraction. I can't help but think that there's a big correlation between when I started fapping, and my life deteriorating. I do remember in my younger years, feeling incredible, and believing anything was possible, and some spectacular things did happen, including winning big competitions.

I'm 28, and I don't want to get to 30, having not kicked this habit.

I have a variety of supplements at hand to help me, such as Vitamin B Complex, Biotin (hair), Zinc, Vitamin D, Vitamin C powder, Coconut Oil, Calcium & Magnesium supplement, Sea Kelp, Liquorice Root, Amino Acid Complex, Arginine, Tyrosine, Theanine, Tryphtophan, 5-HTP, Taurine, Ashwagandha, Spirulina, Chollera, Omega 3, and Bee Pollen Granules.

Target wise, I'm wanting make 90 days. It's the golden number in the NoFap community, but I think in my case, it will require a lot longer. Nevertheless, getting to 90 days would get me to near enough Christmas, and an extra week, and we'll be in the New Year.

How great would it be to reach 2020 PMO Free? That's why I put the hashtag in the title. Getting to 2020 having surpassed my main goal will surely allow me to look on the New Year with a positive frame of mind, knowing I've got it under control.

Well, enough of me babbling. I will post here everyday, even it's just to say I've completed the day.

Thank you all for reading.

Today is Day 0. Tomorrow lunchtime will be a full 24 hours on NoFap and no PMO, so that will be Day 1. I will be updating my signature on each day.

DAY 1 - COMPLETED

Feel rough, as expected, given that it was only 24 hours ago, when I ejaculated following a masturbation session.

I slept alright, but still feel like I need more.

I know it'll take a few days before I start to notice anything (positive or negative), so I shall how things go.

Forgot to add that we're in the Autumn here in the UK, and I also suspect that I have severe Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome, due to my constant exhaustion, so I won't be exercising too much (most I'll do is walking), as I really feel I need to give my body a rest.

as you said you want a porn free life,right?
so not just express your emotions here, also write your plan that how you going to achieve your goal of 90 days.

think about is you ready for 90 days goal now. i think you should go it for 9 days first. then for 18 and above.

just goal setting is not important , in hard situations like when you close to relapse situation then its important for you should be focused on your goal.

Goal setting is very important but a goal without a plan is just a wish.  What's the plan?  What will you focus on achieving instead of doing pmo?

Oh, I forgot to mention what my time will be filled with, lol. Oops.

Well, I've just started a new job, which is requiring a lot of studying, as it's in the health sector. Also, about this job, is that as of next week, my hours will ensure I am free to socialise with friends after work, which my previous job wouldn't let me do, due to the hours. I've already made plans, and looking forward to them.

The studying takes me into December, which is where my probation and induction ends.

I also enjoy reading and I do writing projects on the side. I cut down on these a lot, because I fapped instead.

With regard to the 90 days, like I said above, my studying period for work ends in late December, just before Christmas. After this, my pay goes up dramatically should I pass the final exams. It's do or bust for me.

Mentally, I do have goals of 7 days (testosterone), 14 days (re-absorption of vitamins and minerals), 21 days (subliminals taking effect), 30 days, 60, 90, 180, 270, 360, but I've committed to 90 on paper.

DAY 2 - COMPLETED

I've been at work today, and am quite tired. Still got that feeling of needing lots of sleep, but all in all, just a check-in to say I've completed Day 2.

I've made a decision not to take the supplements Maca Root, and Korean Ginseng, as they are stimulants, and although they do help with the mind in some way, I want to give my receptors and system a rest.

DAY 3 - COMPLETED

Today, I had work again, and actually had some urges, which quickly subsided.

I feel absolutely knackered, so I'm hoping for a good night's sleep. It's my day off tomorrow, and I've devised a schedule to try and keep me focused, as these days are usually where I lay back, computer at my side, and fap for hours on end.

On a side note, having decided to give up caffeine, I was little gutted to find that Cacao Powder has some caffeine, as well as theobromine, which is supposed to be a gentler stimulant. I had a teaspoon in my oats this morning, so tomorrow will be my first day without it.

Congratulations.
Thanks for saying your plan. I also try it. From now i am setting my goal till November end as 63+10 days.that 73 days. 63 days i required to study for my new job. So i am starting from today.

DAY 4 - COMPLETED

Well, let's just say I feel exhausted once again. It's my head that feels tired. Eyes are dark, glossy, puffy, and I feel like I haven't slept, even though I did get 8.5 hours last night.

Some urges have been there, but nothing to make me act on them. I know some people feel better after a few days, but I'm expecting a brutal flatline.

I never masturbated everyday, only on my days off (2-3 times a week), each time 4-8 hours edging. So I'm under no illusions that my neurotransmitters in my brain, as well as the receptors have been well and truly burnt. I do suspect I'm suffering from severe adrenal fatigue syndrome, but I'm ready for the fight.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 5 - COMPLETED

I've been at work, and it went very well.

The sleep the night before was horrendous though. Broken sleep throughout, and each time, I had dreams. One of those dreams was a sexual dream, but I never ejaculated, and made sure I checked my trousers and underwear to see if there was any semen, but there was none to be found. Furthermore, when I woke up, it didn't feel like I had ejaculated. It just felt like I woke up from a normal dream.

I did have the night sweats a few hours later, after a couple of hours more sleep, followed by increased anxiety. I was panicking over something in my life, but that was it.

I felt a little urge at work, but that was it.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 6 - COMPLETED

Another horrendous night's sleep. Broken, and probably had 4.5 hours worth of sleep in total. Went to bed at 10pm, woke up at 1am, full of energy, tired again at 5am, fell asleep until 6:30am, and then had to get up for work. I did have another dream about having sex, but woke up without having ejaculated, and not even a hint of pre-cum. Just a little erection, and no headaches or chaser effect associated with wet dreams either.

Long day today at work, and just come back. Got little time to relax. Going to have a light dinner, and try to catch up on some sleep, as I have another long day at work. Really don't have any urges today. Probably too tired to feel anything.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 7 - COMPLETED

Week 1 done!

Managed to get 7 hours sleep last night, and woke up feeling OK. The brain fog, and lack of memory recall, hit as soon as I started work. Everything went wrong there too, so I'm hoping for a solid night's sleep tonight, as it's my day off tomorrow.

It's the fatigue that's getting to me. I feel a little bit of anger as well, which is probably due to today, but that's a challenge I'm going to have to confront. I'd normally plan to masturbate tomorrow to release the tension, but this time, there isn't that avenue.

I reckon I'm hitting a flatline.

I was watching a video last night on semen retention and the increased ability to manifest using law of attraction. The guy said 'those who retain, manifest'.

I'm using that as motivation.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 8 - COMPLETED

Well, another night of insomnia. Woke up early morning, and feel like a zombie.

Had another sex dream last night, whereby I felt the warmth of the woman on me, on my penis, but once again, I woke up, and couldn't find any hint of pre-cum or semen. I rolled back my foreskin to check, but that was as dry as a desert. Feels like my mind is in a battle right now, and the only way those pesky porn demons are coming out are in my dreams. Thankfully though, my body is retaining the semen.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 9 - COMPLETED

This fatigue is killing me. I had a better night's sleep, but I still feel tired around the eyes and in my head. Anxiety is starting to surface.

I'm waking up with erections, which is a little surprising, but they're nowhere near as firm.

I was able to do a piece of work last night though, and the ideas flowed very well.

It's not even the urges at this stage. It's the fatigue, and lack of stimulation in my head. That's what's doing it. I've been working, reading, writing, and saw a friend the other day, but my brain is not very responsive.

That's where I'm at.

Onwards and upwards.

DAY 10 - COMPLETED

A very tough day today. Lack of sleep, depressive episodes, massive urges, severe headaches and lots of stress. Everyone at work thought there was something wrong with me. Apparently, I looked starry-eyed, and tired, and they even offered to send me home early, and do the hours on another shift. I declined, and pushed through.

Still managed to get through, but today has felt very different. Any Harry Potter fans here will be able to relate to this when I say it felt like a dementor was around me all day.

DAY 11 - COMPLETED

It was my day off today. Did some tidying, and just been in bed. Absolutely shattered. I've got 3 long days at work coming up, and this exhaustion has just been getting worse. Not sure what to do really.

Chuck Shurley said:

I'm going to make this simple -

1). I'm absolutely done with Porn
2). I'm absolutely done with Masturbation
3). I'm absolutely done with Orgasm

Click to expand...

Just a quick note on this. You should add 'I'm done being a pervert' to this list, or something to that extent.

I personally see fapping as a consequence of having sexual thoughts and not controlling yourself. If you control your mind well enough, you should always be able to move it away from sexual things.

Are you trying meditation? I personally use object meditation, it means that you stare at an object (for example a bottle of water), you completely examine it without allowing ANY thoughts, images or other deviations in your mind. Do this for at least 5 minutes if you're just beginning, keep increasing the time, it's like an excercise of willpower, you can keep getting better at it.

Good luck

DAY 12 - COMPLETED

Been at work for a large part of the day. Another awful night of sleep. I'm really starting to feel ill from a lack of sleep.

Not tried mediation as of yet. I'm looking for a suitable mediation to follow on Youtube, as a semen retention advocate I follow on there says mediation is possibly as important as retention.

Urges have been strong, but I've been distracted a lot, so that's OK.

Great . you're close to two weeks. Keep going well now.

DAY 13 - COMPLETED

I had four hours sleep last night, and that's it. Woke up at 3am, watched some TV, read a book, showered, revised work notes, and then watched more TV, waiting to set off for a long shift.

Honestly, this insomnia is dreadful. My memory has improved slightly, and I feel much more energetic in my limbs, but my head is being wrecked by 4 hours of sleep almost every night for over a week.

My face has a reddened complexion now, and I'm breaking out with spots on my face. I'd love to get 3 nights consecutively of 8 hours sleep, so I can actually assess how NoFap has worked for me.