PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey everybody!
I'm just new to this (like a lot of others), but I'm gonna give it a go. First of all, let me just say how greatful I am to Gabe for making this site, and for all you brave people out there for sharing your stories. Watching one of Gabe's video's was what really inspired me to kick the habit. And I've been thinking about quitting/trying to quit for a LONG TIME. I'm 28 now, and it's been something that I wanted to get out of my life since probably I was 20 or so.
So, about me - like I said I'm 28 and I'm finally feeling good about quitting. I was first exposed to P when I was 8 years old (my dad's magazines), and started M to P at that time too. As I was growing up I gradually became exposed to different forms of P including internet P, and people's personal collections. It wasn't until I went to college however that I gained more access to high speed internet P, and that's when it developed into an even stronger habit. I remember one of the things I was most excited about (secretly) when thinking about going to college was that I'd have my own laptop with which I could watch P! Yay! lol. It is such a powerful thing, that it has continued to keep me hooked until now, and admitedly I am still hooked, but I've decided to make the move away from it. Throughout growing up I DID have sexual relations with real women, so that at least helped wire my brain somewhat towards real people, and not towards P, but I must say that I definitely have problems with commitment to real people, and a strong urge to have many one night stands, or flings. I'd say that was partly shaped by the P in my life.
Through my twenties I've been a regular P user. I've gone through periods of not using it, but I'd say those periods lasted no longer than 3-5 months at the most. Looking back on it I now realize that I was probably smack dab in the middle of the flatline during those multi-month breaks, but didn't really know that it was a 'thing' and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! (That's another thing that gave me hope by finding out about this forum - the fact that MANY peope are going through the same thing, and that recovery IS possible, and I CAN get to a point where I am turned on by REAL women, and where I will have more drive in my life in general). The most frequent I would use P during my 20's was probably about 2-3 times a day for a period of several days, and then maybe take a break of a couple of days, and then go back to it. So, I'd say I'm about a moderate user, but I can definitely see that I will be so much better off when I am P free!!
SO.......my last PMO was around March 11, 2016 and I've been without P since that day. However, I have still been M pretty much once a day since then. I realize that I should take a break from that too for a time, but right now, I'm just patting myself on the back for going without P, and I think part of me is scared of the flatline, and wants to M just to make sure I can still get and erection and whatnot (which I CAN, so I'm pretty happy about that - that I still do have a libido, even if it's not a totally 'virile' one).
I find it hard to resist the pull of P, but I must admit, it is getting a little easier. Man, that information about neuro-science is SO SO SO helpful! Knowledge is power as they say. So I realize that the more you shift your focus away from P and M, and onto other things, the easier it is for your brain to heal. At this point I'm just focusing on staying away from P, and so far haven't put too much energy into focusing on new things (I guess the brain is a little lazy), but I realize that that is an integral part of it - to fill the void created by P with something new. I also realize that I as a person will pretty much ALWAYS be sensitive and susceptible to falling back into the P trap again. It's such a tricky addiction because it usurps your natural urge to have sex with real people (which is already very strong) and focuses it on P with can always give you more (of the screen), but not what really matters (love and nurturing). So I know that I will always have to be vigilant to my triggers from here on out in my life - hopefully that will get easier with time.
Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, posting, and supporting everyone else.
Peace!
I'm just new to this (like a lot of others), but I'm gonna give it a go. First of all, let me just say how greatful I am to Gabe for making this site, and for all you brave people out there for sharing your stories. Watching one of Gabe's video's was what really inspired me to kick the habit. And I've been thinking about quitting/trying to quit for a LONG TIME. I'm 28 now, and it's been something that I wanted to get out of my life since probably I was 20 or so.
So, about me - like I said I'm 28 and I'm finally feeling good about quitting. I was first exposed to P when I was 8 years old (my dad's magazines), and started M to P at that time too. As I was growing up I gradually became exposed to different forms of P including internet P, and people's personal collections. It wasn't until I went to college however that I gained more access to high speed internet P, and that's when it developed into an even stronger habit. I remember one of the things I was most excited about (secretly) when thinking about going to college was that I'd have my own laptop with which I could watch P! Yay! lol. It is such a powerful thing, that it has continued to keep me hooked until now, and admitedly I am still hooked, but I've decided to make the move away from it. Throughout growing up I DID have sexual relations with real women, so that at least helped wire my brain somewhat towards real people, and not towards P, but I must say that I definitely have problems with commitment to real people, and a strong urge to have many one night stands, or flings. I'd say that was partly shaped by the P in my life.
Through my twenties I've been a regular P user. I've gone through periods of not using it, but I'd say those periods lasted no longer than 3-5 months at the most. Looking back on it I now realize that I was probably smack dab in the middle of the flatline during those multi-month breaks, but didn't really know that it was a 'thing' and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! (That's another thing that gave me hope by finding out about this forum - the fact that MANY peope are going through the same thing, and that recovery IS possible, and I CAN get to a point where I am turned on by REAL women, and where I will have more drive in my life in general). The most frequent I would use P during my 20's was probably about 2-3 times a day for a period of several days, and then maybe take a break of a couple of days, and then go back to it. So, I'd say I'm about a moderate user, but I can definitely see that I will be so much better off when I am P free!!
SO.......my last PMO was around March 11, 2016 and I've been without P since that day. However, I have still been M pretty much once a day since then. I realize that I should take a break from that too for a time, but right now, I'm just patting myself on the back for going without P, and I think part of me is scared of the flatline, and wants to M just to make sure I can still get and erection and whatnot (which I CAN, so I'm pretty happy about that - that I still do have a libido, even if it's not a totally 'virile' one).
I find it hard to resist the pull of P, but I must admit, it is getting a little easier. Man, that information about neuro-science is SO SO SO helpful! Knowledge is power as they say. So I realize that the more you shift your focus away from P and M, and onto other things, the easier it is for your brain to heal. At this point I'm just focusing on staying away from P, and so far haven't put too much energy into focusing on new things (I guess the brain is a little lazy), but I realize that that is an integral part of it - to fill the void created by P with something new. I also realize that I as a person will pretty much ALWAYS be sensitive and susceptible to falling back into the P trap again. It's such a tricky addiction because it usurps your natural urge to have sex with real people (which is already very strong) and focuses it on P with can always give you more (of the screen), but not what really matters (love and nurturing). So I know that I will always have to be vigilant to my triggers from here on out in my life - hopefully that will get easier with time.
Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, posting, and supporting everyone else.
Peace!