22yo - currently struggling with P-subs.

Hollaaaaa. First of all, excuse my english, I?m from Spain.

I?m a 22yo guy with a pretty common story. Started PMOing around 12-14, got a girlfriend in university, broke up, depression, PMO increase (and changing genres), almost no sexual contact in about 2.5 years, no libido? Until a few weeks ago I performed badly with a girl. I didn?t worry at first because I was really tired and drunk. However, I checked the internet out of curiosity, found YBOP and this website opened my eyes.

In a few hours I?m gonna achieve 22 days without PMO (nor MO/O). I haven?t had a really hard time, I kept my mind busy, I read a few things on YBOP, I?m exercising, eating healthy, going out... Recently I started in a new job that has given me the opportunity to get my shit together so I already got into good habits before this nofap thing. Nevertheless, I?ve seen intense cravings and the flatline could hit me hard in the following days. So I?ve decided to keep a journal in the forum.

I?d say I haven?t experience a clear trend in my reboot. I?ve suffered anxiety, especially in the first week, but it comes and goes. Same with boners, but I gotta tell you than when these come, I?m horny af, and they are 100% mostly. Also, during this third week my soldier is smaller than usually, nothing to worry according to what I?ve read.

I ended up in a soft porn channel on TV a couple of days ago and couldn?t avoid staring for a minute, but I don?t give too much importance to it. Besides, I can?t avoid fantasizing sometimes, but I?m starting to do it with a potential sexual partner.
Speaking about the benefits, I feel more energy and I?m dreaming more. This extra energy is keeping me out of my house and more socially active. I got to tell you I?m receiving attention from women, nothing has materialized yet, but I feel confident about future opportunities. So? thanks to the No PMO community.

I?m pretty happy with my progress so far BUT my main concerns are:

(1) I have no clue about how I could perform now in a sexual encounter. Last time I had sex was in 2013!! and the fail I had a few weeks ago was pretty particular because it was unexpected, with a girl a see more as a friend, drunk, tired, etc. We were laughing at it though, so it wasn?t traumatic at all. Conclusion: I don?t know what to expect.

(2) When is the flatline coming? Sometimes I feel I?m being too innocent thinking I?m gonna achieve improvements without going through a period of hell first hahaha.

Thanks for reading, feel free to give some insights, share your experience, whatever.

PD: I?m trying to quit weed as well, and I think definitively now I have more willpower. I?ve smoked just once since this I do nofap, and it was at a party. So it?s helping with this as well.

Hola amigo, que pasa? (Is that how you spaniards say it right?)
Nah not to worry, your english is fine and I myself am Italian, so you're not the only foreigner here, even though I'd just avoid this word altogether; we're all part of a community regardless of our origins

Anyway, enough chit chat, glad to see you're already at a fine point in your journey; from experience I can tell ya that from now on things should be a little better than what they've been up 'til now.

I ended up in a soft porn channel on TV a couple of days ago and couldn?t avoid staring for a minute, but I don?t give too much importance to it. Besides, I can?t avoid fantasizing sometimes, but I?m starting to do it with a potential sexual partner.
Speaking about the benefits, I feel more energy and I?m dreaming more. This extra energy is keeping me out of my house and more socially active. I got to tell you I?m receiving attention from women, nothing has materialized yet, but I feel confident about future opportunities. So? thanks to the No PMO community.

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That's fine, there will be times when you'll inevitably find yourself in front of a trigger, its your duty to recognize it for what it is and get rid of it before it gets rid of your willpower.
The more you will progress, and the more you will realize how sexualized our society really has become, but stay strong and don't let this discourage you. About the fantasies I'd rather have you avoid them altogether, but if you really cannot stop the thoughts, at least keep on visualizing a real person like you're doing, be careful though 'cause if you just simulate a P scene that you saw during one of those PMO sessions you had in the past, than that means nothing, so stay sharp.

(1)  I have no clue about how I could perform now in a sexual encounter. Last time I had sex was in 2013!! and the fail I had a few weeks ago was pretty particular because it was unexpected, with a girl a see more as a friend, drunk, tired, etc. We were laughing at it though, so it wasn?t traumatic at all. Conclusion: I don?t know what to expect.

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Well, don't expect anything. You need to realize that what you're doing is going to take its time and everyone's recovery is different from the other. You'll be ready when you'll feel you're ready, I can't give you another answer. Just let your body and mind recover, eventually you will see the light at the end of the tunnel

PS: And don't try to experiment your erections stimulating yourself, it's too risky believe me.

(2)  When is the flatline coming? Sometimes I feel I?m being too innocent thinking I?m gonna achieve improvements without going through a period of hell first hahaha.

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Oh that's the one million dollar question right there buddy; no one knows for certain when the flatline will be coming, it can arrive after one, two or three weeks, or maybe it'll take longer who knows.
There are guys that didn't even experience it, or it came but at odd days for example...you'll figure it out when and if you'll have it, this one too is a pretty subjective thing so don't worry too much about it.

A final piece of advice: you're making the right decision here by quitting weed too, just don't let it overwhelm you 'cause you'll be basically fighting two beasts at the same time. It's true that doing that helps building up that willpower that we all crave so much for, but you have to be careful not to overexert yourself too early on or your brain will give in, so keep your guard up.

Stay in touch and good luck
-Dave-

Haha, this "changing gender" stuff is what made me stop to think about what was happening. As a straight male, why seeing naked woman wasn't getting me aroused anymore?
Well here we are dude, I've just start yesterday after some readings and watching some videos about no fap/porn. Hope success for us  ;D

-Dave- said:

Hola amigo, que pasa? (Is that how you spaniards say it right?)

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Yeah, that's perfect spanish

Thanks for the responses guys. I'll try to keep the journal actualized if I feel changes or strong urges.

see you around!!

Hey man, sometimes those "fails" are just seemingly random, or caused by anxiety you're not aware of. I had a fling with a girl earlier this year and sometimes I had a hard time getting excited, other times she had me hard as a rock in seconds. Before I met her I was in the same boat as you; not sure if this is even making a difference because it's so rare to find an opportunity to find out. Believe me when I say, it does get better.

Hey Nope!

I hooked up with a girl about 2 months ago, and yeah, it was the first time I'd had sex in like 6 months, and I had been PMO-ing throughout the winter, so I got it up, but it was kind of a miracle - I had it up, but it wasn't super hard and I wasn't super into it. I'm hoping that the next time I'm with a real woman, I'll be more into it because I haven't PMO-ed in a month and half, but I'm guessing that I won't be fully healed for another 6-9 months.

Good things come to those who wait!!

Stay strong!!

-Peace

Hey guys! how u doing?

I'm glad to tell u I've reached week 4 without PMO.

I've had some anxiety episodes during these days. On sunday I got into a risk zone, as I was drinking a few beers while watching TV and urges hit me. I overcame these, though.

Talking about weed, I've smoked a couple of times and I felt my energy draining. I don't want to be hard to me, but I'm definitively quitting pot. I'm gonna stop seeing for a while a group of guys I use to smoke with, and I'm gonna try avoid 'weedish plans' (idk if that is "propper english" hahaha).

Also, I've started to take cold showers two or three times a day, nice feeling. Moreover, I'm decided to start doing st with music, dont know still what. Playing guitar, becoming a DJ... I'll think about it.

Thanks for reading. My journal is ur journal.

Glad you are still making progress! 

I can relieve your decision to quit weed - I am personally myself quittin weed just now.
It's a good decision, because (as you noted yourself) weed is draining our energy.
Energy which we will require on our journey to a pornfree / drugfree life 

I wish you all the best !

Hey! Thank y'all for the responses!

Justin, I think my erections with porn have been >80% always. Nevertheless, take into account that I've been alwayslooking for novelty. I ussually opened more than 5 videos and jump from one to the other in the same session, each one different from the others. Before I started Nofap It was really difficult to keep an E without fantasy or P substitutes.

Stay strong!!

Hey Guys!

Just reading this post, and thought I'd comment.

Dear Nope: I found that the hardest part of quitting weed WAS not hanging out with the guys that were smoking it, cuz I really like to hang out with people and be social, but yeah, in the past it was always too difficult for me to say 'no' to weed when everyone else was smoking. Now I'm getting better at saying no. I guess that it'll just never be a thing that I can do (and I realize on some level - I don't actually like the way it makes me feel anyway, and since it often leads me to PMO, it really isn't good at all.)

As for the PIED question. I never had full blown PIED, but right before I started my reboot process (like 3-4 months ago), I noticed that I was starting to get PIED (having trouble getting hard without porn, and having very little interest in sex or masturbating when not with porn). Luckily, it was at that time that I discovered this site, and also I realized that PIED was a real thing. So it scared me into quitting porn!!! Yay!!! (And let me tell you, it has not been an easy thing; I have wanted to be free of porn on some level since I first started looking at it at the age of 8!!).

Anyway, before I started my reboot, I would get 100%, shit sometimes even 110% hard while watching porn. Sometimes I would get so hard, and for so long (like 1-1.5 hours) that after I would ejaculate, my penis would hurt! I think that I had slightly damaged the internal structures That would be another thing that I'd feel bad about in the whole day after a relapse. Anyway, I can understand that if a person had PIED really bad, that they might not be able to get hard very much at all. I do know that sometimes after relapsing, and then watching for like 3-5 days straight, maybe 2 hours each time, my penis would only be getting hard from one dopamine high to the next, and then quickly getting soft. (like each time I'd find a new video that turned me on, I'd get a little hard for like 1-3 minutes, and then I'd start to get soft, so I'd have to search for a new video to get it back up again. And sometimes when it was really bad (after watching for like an hour or two), not even watching new videos would be able to get me hard agin :/ eeeeek!!)

But these days, I'm doing ok; I'm masturbating only with my hand and my mind, every couple of days, and each session is only about 15 minutes long, and I'm hard for the whole thing. It sometimes takes me a little while to get aroused at the beginning, but once I'm turned on, it gets nice and hard!! yay!! I'm really really excited to see what happens after like 6-9 months

Best of luck friends!!

-Peace

Also; I STRONGLY recommend starting to play an instrument. The acoustic guitar is a good one because you can carry it anyway, and you can play it within seconds (as opposed to DJ equipment which you can't easily take with you, and takes a few second to start up). Ultimately I'd say, get AS MANY INSTRUMENTS AS YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON!!!! But if you have to choose just one (usually due to money constraints), I'd choose acoustic guitar

Good luck!!

-Peace

Hey guys!

DAY 29

Last night I dreamed that I was PMOing. Wake up feeling guilty but it was just in the dream, I did not even Ejaculate, so guilty disappeared instantly.

The funny thing is, in the dream, like if was being punished by my d, I had a massive E that I couldn't control. When I think about it know, it was pretty hilarious, it was falling all over myself like rain , even in my eyes!! hahahahaha

Ok, any psycologist in the forum?

Stay strong yall. My journal is your journal.

Day 31

Hey everybody!

I think I'm on a light flatline. My penis is almost completely inactive, I don't have any urges, I'm feeling pretty tired too. I'm keeping myself busy tho. I dont feel a lot of anxiety and my mood is acceptable during the day, that's why I guess this is only a "light-flatline".

I'm excited to see how this experience develops.

Stay strong y'all!!

Nope said:

Day 31

Hey everybody!

I think I'm on a light flatline. My penis is almost completely inactive, I don't have any urges, I'm feeling pretty tired too. I'm keeping myself busy tho. I dont feel a lot of anxiety and my mood is acceptable during the day, that's why I guess this is only a "light-flatline".

I'm excited to see how this experience develops.

Stay strong y'all!!

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Hey man, it looks like your reboot is going very well, well done !
About the fact that you don't know how to perform in a sexual encounter now, don't worry about it, just go with the flow. Last time I had the opportunity to have sex with a girl, I put too much pressure on myself before and while having sex, and that didn't go well. Having had PIED in the past can cause performance anxiety afterwards, if we don't manage to just relax, and say "Fu** it, let's just have a good time, it doesn't matter if it goes well or not".

As for the flatline, embrace it ! Some guys make the mistake to "test" the life of their soldier during the flatline, but from what I've read, that's a huge mistake because it can lead to PMO. But i'm sure you already know that.

Anyway, good luck on your journey, and congratulations again from the road you've made so far !

Hello y'all.

Day 34, almost 5 weeks!!

First of all, Thanks a lot to Peace and Conquistador for your recent responses!

Yesterday I watched some some erotic videos at Youtube, but I closed them. I had an E and started to M. Nevertheless, I took control of myself and went to have a great cold shower. This is the time I've been more close to PMO since I started my reboot. Since today I'll be more careful with triggers and I'll be aware to not follow thoughts like "let's watch just some soft pictures".

Stay strong!!

I'll try to post in some of your journals during this week, I follow you even if I'm in silence

See you!

Hey guys!

DAY 38

I'd like to ask y'all about ur experience with dating apps. I started to using them about 6 months ago aprox. But I realized that for me they weren't but P subs. At the end, these apps provide constant novelty, u can switch from one profile to the next one in less than a sec. I've ended up masturbating to these apps many times. Moreover, I never felt the impulse to really meet personally the girls I connected with.

Of course, I've unstalled all these apps from my phone. Nevertheless, I'd like to be able to use them responsibly in the future.

What do u think? Have u read something interesting/useful about the matter?

Thanks for your attention! Stay strong!

Hello y'all!

DAY 1

I am not proud to say I've relapsed a couple of times this weekend. On saturday checked a dating app (I spoke about my problem with these apps on my last post) and got a boner. After that I couldn't resist to M (without further stimulation, but obviously my mind was already influenced by the images). Yesterday I M-ed to a Psub as well. Nevertheless, I'm still 100% committed and ready to beat my mark of 39 days without PMO. Now I know more about my addiction and have better tools to defeat porn.

Definitely, I'm gonna try to be more active in the forum. It helps me to keep accountability of my progress and to be aware during the process.

Feel free to comment.

38 days was a good run, I bet you healed a lot during that time. You'll go even longer next time =D. Posting on this forum helps a lot, the only thing that stopped me from relapsing yesterday was knowing how embarrassed I'd be to write about it on here. Accountability goes a lot way.

Hey guys!!

Day 2

This last week I've been a lot by myself at home and I've relapsed 3 more times. I've been indulging on alcohol and weed. Moreover, I haven't had much sleep. My mistake, I let all this 'risk factors' to happen. Nevertheless, I'm back to my healthy routine and in a month I'll have some busy holidays surrounded by friends! I'll beat my 39 days streak really soon.

Stay strong!!

Hey y'all!!

Day 11

After being defeated by the chaser effect a few times, I'm back on track with 11 days and aiming to beat my record, 39 days. And of course, a porn-free life after that.

These days I found myself fantasizing from time to time. Even though I must avoid this, my fantasies have allowed me to notice some progress. Now I think more about, flirting, what I'd say to a girl, kissing... Before the reboot my thoughts were much more pornographic. Feels good to notice even these subtle improvements.

Stay strong!!