Help needed.

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Vijay

Member
Hi,
I have been with my gf for  seven months. But I never able to have intercourse with her. Because I can't get erection. I am able to get erection for my fantasy. I was masturbating for past 14years for my fantasy only. Only tat fantasy of female domination erect me and nothing else. I got this fantasy on own without any porn. I never watched femdom porn. It started like this, if i see my teacher hip I will. Imagine like she gonna lift me in her hip and best me severely and she will make me nude then beat me severely. Only the women will differ during masturbation but fantasy is same all days. But I stopped fantasy thinking and masturbation for past one week. I used to masturbated lying down on bed and I never used hands to masturbated. I dunno what is my problem and how to get out? I never watched porn, but I got this female disciplining me as a fantasy on my own thoughts,  still it is PIED or what problem I have?  Any help to be involved in normal sex pls?
 
N

Numez

Guest
fantasy IS porn http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-fantasizing-during-reboot fantasy, pictures, videos, erotic stories, sexting, sex cam... anything that not includes real partner is artificial stimuli. you may think "people have always been able to fantasize and it was not the problem", but who says it was not the problem, it was just too rare (even more rare than now) and it went unnoticed. it is still rare case for only fantasy to cause ED but now that we are putting fantasy in PMO category and we are aware of PIED, people are reporting it and are recovering from it.

you never used hands to masturbate? you are the boss ;D it is actually what happens in the brain that is causing the problem, not how you masturbate, but still how you did it man  :D

your problem is porn addiction and getting out is the same as for all of us, rebooting  8) yes you have PIED. you can get it up with fantasy but not with your gf, there you go.

for sex during reboot: http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

she (your gf) didnt took the d for 7 months and she still rides with you. if she is not cheating, you better wake up.
 
V

Vijay

Member
Thanks for the reply. So I already quit masturbation past one week and stopped thinking that fantasy.  Should be enough if I continue this to get the normal  sexual feelings or do I need to do something else?
 
N

Numez

Guest
@james, you will know that your ED is fully recovered when you have sex without ED  :D i mean, you cant know before you try and see whats up.

@vijay, in addition to rebooting, it is helpful to cuddle with your gf. bonding behaviors like cuddling, hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, eye gazing... helps your brain to rewire for real thing. this is even more important for porn addicts who are virgins.

thats all you have to do 8)

 
V

Vijay

Member
Thanks again. Even if I got femdom fantasy by nature without watching porn, whatever you asked me to do to get out of this will work right? Sine I got femdom fantasy by nature it doesn't mean it will never go out?  Still if I do all u said I will get norm sexual feelings right sir?
 
N

Numez

Guest
what i asked you to do is to reboot and rewire and it will absolutely work.

what you experience is porn flashbacks (porn in your case is fantasy), it is okay as long as you dont intentionally fantasize about anything that arouses you. so the next time you get porn flashback (femdom fantasy), just focus on something else, redirect your attention. porn flashbacks will become less and less frequent if you dont intentionally fantasize and if you do your best to redirect your attention.

good luck  8)
 
V

Vijay

Member
Can you help me  with easy terms to understand what happened inside my brain because of this femdom fantasy and masturbation for past 14 years and how does the reboot and rewire correct the damage done already?  I am finding difficulty in understanding the links between those that's why requesting your help sir to understand my problem better in detail.
 
N

Numez

Guest
i already gave you a link and said that fantasizing porn is the same thing as watching it so dont get confused if gary wilson is not specifically referring to fantasizing, this still applies to you too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99RGE4OEqlg

The 3 major addiction-related brain changes are:
sensitization http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rewire-your-brain-using-ocd-neuroscience
desensitization http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/desensitization-numbed-pleasure-response
and hypofrontality http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/garys-research-hypofrontality

explore YBOP many times to own the details and concepts behind getting addicted and rewiring: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

it is good that you are curious, YBOP is great resources for curious porn addicts like yourself. it is actually essential to be curious and study ins and outs of addiction regularly as long as you are struggling with it.

i hope i helped with some links but you will probably have to do much more research on your own. good luck  8)
 
V

Vijay

Member
If I use stendra if cialas will I be able to have sexual intercourse with ejaculation  if I get  erection?  Because my ejaculation so far dependent on femdom fantasy thoughts, will I get ejaculate during intercourse by using cialas or stendra?
 
N

Numez

Guest
forcing anything during reboot can be counterproductive. go with the flow of your recovery and natural libido. pills are not dealing with brain changes, they are only dealing with problems down there and PIED is the problem up stairs between ears.

to answer your question i dont really know. i know people report that pills stop working after few time and when they work it is still not normal experience.
 
V

Vijay

Member
Rebooting you mean I should not masturbate, think about my femdom fantasy thoughts. I am doing this for more than a week, I can say around 10 days. Rewiring is I am hugging, kissing, touching my partner. Hope I am correct with reboot and rewiring. I am doing both Rebooting and rewiring parallely. Okay I will not try medicine now. You mentioned I should not force anything during reboot?  What all I should not force?  how long does the reboot process takes for me? When I can try for sex without medicine?
 
N

Numez

Guest
i was talking about erections and orgasms. let them be natural, for the best recovery. dont force them.

you are doing extremely well doing it parallelly.

how long it will take is unique for everyone. some fully recover after 6 months, some after 1.5 years. every brain is different and every conditioning is different but 2 years for full recovery is max i guess.

you can try sex every day if you want. it can be part of the rewiring too. if it dont naturally goes up, just cuddle while you are naked. you can (both of you) enjoy yourself without intercourse. if it goes up any time, go for it but dont get disappointed if it quickly goes away or if it feels numb, it can happen too  8)

 
V

Vijay

Member
I can easily be without femdom thoughts or masturbation and I am doing that without any trouble so I have no difficult in staying away from those thoughts or masturbation. But doing hugging or missing or touching occasionally during day time or before sleep time  with my partner  is not giving me erection, is that okay?  Will that rewiring takes little time to kick the erection up?
 
N

Numez

Guest
Vijay said:
I can easily be without femdom thoughts or masturbation and I am doing that without any trouble so I have no difficult in staying away from those thoughts or masturbation.
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it is phenomenal you are doing awesome work.

Vijay said:
doing hugging or missing or touching occasionally during day time or before sleep time  with my partner  is not giving me erection, is that okay?  Will that rewiring takes little time to kick the erection up?
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of course it is not giving you erection, because you have PIED. otherwise you probably would not be here i guess  8) yeah rewiring can take little time its normal 8)

im really glad to hear that you are easily rebooting, no struggle without PMO and masturbation is great news. keep it up you are doing perfect.
 
V

Vijay

Member
Sir I used to masturbate daily even if I think very little about my neighbor women disciplining me. I used to ejaculate within minutes while masturbating for that thoughts. It was the case for past 14 years. Just a little thinking about women beating me will make me to masturbate more than once daily. But past two weeks I did not think anthing like women beating me and no masturbation. I can be that way for any months or years  like that. I am doing like you said like hugging, kissing, touching to rewire. I am waiting to rewire sir.
 
V

Vijay

Member
I just tested testosterone value and the result is 359. Am I normal physically fit for sex? I am yet to meet doctor for follow up with this result so asking members over here for thoughts on my result.
 
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Numez

Guest
i dont know what that result mean but you can try sex during reboot for sure. just dont O too frequently. space them out.

Numez said:
you can try sex every day if you want. it can be part of the rewiring too. if it dont naturally goes up, just cuddle while you are naked. you can (both of you) enjoy yourself without intercourse. if it goes up any time, go for it but dont get disappointed if it quickly goes away or if it feels numb, it can happen too  8)
Click to expand...
 
N

Numez

Guest
dont ejaculate too frequently during sex. space them out. dont do it every day.

O is Orgasm. MO is masturbation + orgasm and PMO is porn + masturbation + orgasm. to clear things up.
 
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