Could hookers/massage parlous help with reboot?

So I'm about 11 months into a reboot and I'm wondering if going to see a hooker or getting a massage with a happy ending would help my recovery?

I know I'm not supposed to masturbate during the reboot, but if I paid for a girl to give me a happy ending that'd be rewiring my brain to get aroused with real women, right?

I've been consistently getting morning wood for about the last six months, think I'd be able to perform. Even if I couldn't, wouldn't an orgasm by a real woman's touch help speed up recovery?

Has anyone got a reason why I shouldn't pay for sex? Does anyone think this wouldn't help my recovery?

If you have any moral "prostitution is wrong" sort of arguments please don't respond, but if you believe that paid sex wouldn't help my recover I'd love to hear why you think that.

I think the question is are you looking at this for a trigger?  Moral questions aside if you are looking for the thrill of this event it's not good but if this isn't that it might be different.  I was rereading this post on a different page yesterday which indirectly speaks to the thrill of such a encounter:  http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0 and whyit iisn't the approach to take.  For myself it was good to rethink my progress and this helped, give it a read.  The issue with hookers and such, from what I have read here and not from any personal experience, is they can be just as addictive as everything else. 

Good luck all the same.

I think it could be better to get one night stand with some slut you can meet in local night club. You save money and youre done with her after sex. But problem with them is that sluts,just like whores,go through several men repeatedly so its risky. But do what suits you best buddy. Good luck!

It helped for me, I did it once. I guess to see if I was able to have sex and because with the hooker there is no pressure to perform. But be careful you don't substitute one addiction with another. It made me feel a bit ashamed as I consider myself an attractive guy who shouldn't be paying for it but I would do literally anything to solve this ED problem.

I think the downside is the sex can be kind of weird and artificial, like you don't have a real connection - I guess you need a convincing hooker! I think if I did it often and was only sleeping with hookers it would make me feel like I couldn't get it unless I was paying and that would be kind of depressing. Use a condom obviously.

I don't think paying for sex is a good idea.  You miss having to chase, and talk to women that way.  This girl is going to enjoy your company no matter how awkward you are. That's not real life, that's a fantasy in itself.  You have to get a girl on your own.  Paying for sex will only prolong your addiction to porn.,

Pr3c1se said:

I don't think paying for sex is a good idea.  You miss having to chase, and talk to women that way.  This girl is going to enjoy your company no matter how awkward you are. That's not real life, that's a fantasy in itself.  You have to get a girl on your own. Paying for sex will only prolong your addiction to porn.,

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I don't follow. How so?

You're still rewiring yourself to be with a human being at the end of the day.

BlackMan23 said:

Pr3c1se said:

I don't think paying for sex is a good idea.  You miss having to chase, and talk to women that way.  This girl is going to enjoy your company no matter how awkward you are. That's not real life, that's a fantasy in itself.  You have to get a girl on your own. Paying for sex will only prolong your addiction to porn.,

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I don't follow. How so?

You're still rewiring yourself to be with a human being at the end of the day.

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You kind of are rewiring to a real human....  Kind of.  Except this human was paid to be there, she was paid to respond positively to whatever you say/do.... Once again, we've entered fantasy zone.  Does that make sense?

Pr3c1se said:

BlackMan23 said:

Pr3c1se said:

I don't think paying for sex is a good idea.  You miss having to chase, and talk to women that way.  This girl is going to enjoy your company no matter how awkward you are. That's not real life, that's a fantasy in itself.  You have to get a girl on your own. Paying for sex will only prolong your addiction to porn.,

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I don't follow. How so?

You're still rewiring yourself to be with a human being at the end of the day.

Click to expand...

You kind of are rewiring to a real human....  Kind of.  Except this human was paid to be there, she was paid to respond positively to whatever you say/do.... Once again, we've entered fantasy zone.  Does that make sense?

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Yeah i see where you're coming from. I was more so referring to transitioning to having sex again after a reboot of no porn/ orgasms. That part has more to do with how does your penis respond to sexual contact after a long reboot. Can you get hard? How long do you last? ect.

BlackMan23 said:

Pr3c1se said:

BlackMan23 said:

Pr3c1se said:

I don't think paying for sex is a good idea.  You miss having to chase, and talk to women that way.  This girl is going to enjoy your company no matter how awkward you are. That's not real life, that's a fantasy in itself.  You have to get a girl on your own. Paying for sex will only prolong your addiction to porn.,

Click to expand...

I don't follow. How so?

You're still rewiring yourself to be with a human being at the end of the day.

Click to expand...

You kind of are rewiring to a real human....  Kind of.  Except this human was paid to be there, she was paid to respond positively to whatever you say/do.... Once again, we've entered fantasy zone.  Does that make sense?

Click to expand...

Yeah i see where you're coming from. I was more so referring to transitioning to having sex again after a reboot of no porn/ orgasms. That part has more to do with how does your penis respond to sexual contact after a long reboot. Can you get hard? How long do you last? ect.

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Hopefully by the end of your reboot you have changed your perspective on what sex actually is and how it fits into your life.  Since, well porn is what more than likely has created your perspective of sex while you were addicted.  This is an opportunity to take a fresh look at it, without porn clouding your mind.  This is my personal opinion of course.  I think it's bad for you on multiple levels.  I think porn addiction recovery is a very personalized experience.  Therefore everyones route will be different.  Take your reboot as an opportunity to discover what you really want.  It's almost like being born again, why waste that on a hooker? 

It's up to you.  I made a commitment to avoid all porn/fantasy and it has worked for me.  Hookers, to me, fall under fantasy.

I understand that it is a fantasy. But for me the issue is not around chasing / attracting girls but simply sexual failure. So many relationships have been ruined by ED or the fear of it always on my mind. Sleeping with a hooker to see if I was able to perform was helpful for me. I actually felt a strong connection with her (I imagine simply because this was the first sex I had since rebooting). I think doing it often would be very bad news though. You are right it is far removed from the real thing.

jayseb said:

I understand that it is a fantasy. But for me the issue is not around chasing / attracting girls but simply sexual failure. So many relationships have been ruined by ED or the fear of it always on my mind. Sleeping with a hooker to see if I was able to perform was helpful for me. I actually felt a strong connection with her (I imagine simply because this was the first sex I had since rebooting). I think doing it often would be very bad news though. You are right it is far removed from the real thing.

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You are missing the point I think.  What you should be trying to do is finding a good girl who will stick by your side, someone you actually care about.  Take things slow, get to know her as a human being, then let her inside and get to know about your situation.  Then she will help you get over it, slowly.  Fucking some random hooker once, doesn't mean everything is solved.  Women are not toy objects used to satisfy you.  That is a porn mentality, and it is something you're trying to cure.

You don't need to go around fucking some random chick.  That's a porn mentality.

ED has been an issue for each of your relationships because you have been addicted to porn.  Now you're not addicted to porn (hopefully), maybe you were hiding this addiction from your significant other so she had no idea what you were even struggling with.... Of course that would end a relationship, or at the very least seriously strain a relationship.

I believe once you have successfully rebooted, you should start looking at life/sex differently.  That's when you have successfully rebooted.  When you get to this point, a hooker won't even be an option in your mind.  Why waste your new perspective on going back to your old ways?


I would not squander this opportunity on a hooker.

No I do get your point. Rebooting has changed the way I see women and sex, and I realise it is much more than just a physical thing. I don't feel this desire like I used to for picking up random chicks in order to boost my ego, I would like a deep connection with somebody. But I'm not going through that nightmare of ED again, it has caused me more pain than anything in my life (that is no exaggeration).

I don't see anything wrong with one-night stands or short-term relationships. If there is a genuine connection then the sex can be good for both parties. For me the porn mentality is about fucking with your mind rather than your body. This is why I used to date girls who were conventionally very good looking even though the sexual connection was never good, I thought I would not be able to perform unless they looked like models. Now I am able to feel a sexual connection that is based on something more.

It would be nice to find this good girl who I can tell everything to, but in my experience girls are generally very put off by this stuff. They may give a different reason for leaving me, but I can be sure it was because of the ED. Maybe if I had the courage to tell them what was really going on it would been different, but recently I told my ex about it and she cut off all contact with me completely.

I don't think I'm fixed because I slept with a hooker, but it was still a sexual connection with a real human being rather than a screen. I wasn't turned on by looking at her like it was a porno, it was the heat of her body and simply "being" with a real person. I see this as progress. I don't feel much desire to do it again, and doing it regularly would be a terrible idea for sure - it would encourage an unhealthy view of women, and would destroy my ability to form real connections. However in this case I'm glad I did it because it showed that the reboot is working. I imagine a connection with somebody I truly care about will be absolutely amazing.

Point of reboot is removing porn and coming back to real women and getting pleasure from them. 

The kind of woman youre going to have intercourse with is NOT part of reboot story. Its a story taking place long after you reboot. After you get your libido towards real life women pussies its fully your option what kind of woman you gonna pick. It can be any kind of woman. Whore,slut,virgin,geek,starlet,businesswoman,punk,rasta,artist,botanist,lawyer,cook,milf,teen.

It really doesnt fucking matter as long you get off with pussy and not pixels on screen...

I think there's no concrete answer.  People buy hookers all the time.  I still stand by my initial reaction to this question.  I would not destroy the process you've worked so hard to complete.  You're trying to LEAVE the porn world.  Hookers are part of that porn world, they are a fantasy.  You're much better off staying away from sex until you find a girl you really connect with.  Then get to know her before jumping into the sack, open up to her, let her get to know who you are.  If you talk about this issue correctly, then she won't turn her back on you.  She will help you and take things slow with you.  If you can't get it up at night, she won't feel guilty and think it's her.  She will know you have an issue and she'll be patient with you and work on making you hard for her.  And hell, if she does turn her back on you and leave, then she wasn't the right girl for you anyway.  I'm not saying you have to be with this girl forever.  But rewiring with a girl you care about, I can't stress this enough, WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY RECOVERY.  That's what I feel so strongly about advocating it.  Even if you have good sex with this prostitute once, it really won't mean anything because getting your sex drive back is a process that takes time. 

One thing I've learned in life is usually the easier, simpler route, is not the correct route.  But I've also learned what's right for one person, may not necessarily be right for another person.  Good luck to you.  Let us know what you decide to do.

I wouldn't do it because in my opinion hookers, strippers are still part of porn, don't you think so?  Still a fantasy!

First of all, yes they would help you to rewire to real life. The issue is that you may create a new problem where pretty Jessica from work just doesn't cut it when compared to the groups of hookers you could choose from at a variety of brothels. It's also interesting to note that brothels are themed similarly to porn genres, you have asians, africans, matures, transgenders etc, so it might not be entirely beneficial.

qrayz said:

First of all, yes they would help you to rewire to real life. The issue is that you may create a new problem where pretty Jessica from work just doesn't cut it when compared to the groups of hookers you could choose from at a variety of brothels. It's also interesting to note that brothels are themed similarly to porn genres, you have asians, africans, matures, transgenders etc, so it might not be entirely beneficial.

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I would still consider idea of man not being able to achieve erection with normal woman because she cant complete all wishes hooker will as something separate from porn. In context this kind of man DOES get pleasure from womans body,which is main goal of PIED reboot.

But I definitely agree being fully dependable on hookers is bad.Its surely better finding a horny girlfriend who is ready to make your sex wishes come true,so you dont ever need porn to achieve your fantasies.

Ocarinustino said:

qrayz said:

First of all, yes they would help you to rewire to real life. The issue is that you may create a new problem where pretty Jessica from work just doesn't cut it when compared to the groups of hookers you could choose from at a variety of brothels. It's also interesting to note that brothels are themed similarly to porn genres, you have asians, africans, matures, transgenders etc, so it might not be entirely beneficial.

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I would still consider idea of man not being able to achieve erection with normal woman because she cant complete all wishes hooker will as something separate from porn. In context this kind of man DOES get pleasure from womans body,which is main goal of PIED reboot.

But I definitely agree being fully dependable on hookers is bad.Its surely better finding a horny girlfriend who is ready to make your sex wishes come true,so you dont ever need porn to achieve your fantasies.

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With a proper reboot, you should actually be able to witness those "fantasies" of yours disappear.  A large portion of your reboot is changing the way you perceive women and sex in general.

Pr3c1se said:

I think there's no concrete answer.  People buy hookers all the time.  I still stand by my initial reaction to this question.  I would not destroy the process you've worked so hard to complete.  You're trying to LEAVE the porn world.  Hookers are part of that porn world, they are a fantasy.  You're much better off staying away from sex until you find a girl you really connect with.  Then get to know her before jumping into the sack, open up to her, let her get to know who you are.  If you talk about this issue correctly, then she won't turn her back on you.  She will help you and take things slow with you.  If you can't get it up at night, she won't feel guilty and think it's her.  She will know you have an issue and she'll be patient with you and work on making you hard for her.  And hell, if she does turn her back on you and leave, then she wasn't the right girl for you anyway.  I'm not saying you have to be with this girl forever.  But rewiring with a girl you care about, I can't stress this enough, WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY RECOVERY.  That's what I feel so strongly about advocating it.  Even if you have good sex with this prostitute once, it really won't mean anything because getting your sex drive back is a process that takes time. 

One thing I've learned in life is usually the easier, simpler route, is not the correct route.  But I've also learned what's right for one person, may not necessarily be right for another person.  Good luck to you.  Let us know what you decide to do.

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I really hear what you are saying, I would love to find a girl I really care about to rewire with. I'm just very frightened of the possibility of ED. I've also spent a lifetime believing that sleeping with loads of girls is the answer to all my problems and the reboot has made me see that is total bullshit, but the old habits die very hard.

I see do see the similarity between hookers and porn. For me I felt like I needed to do it to see if the reboot "worked". I spent more time cuddling her than I did fucking her   But yeah there is a fantasy there for sure, like owning the girl - treating her like an object. I get how sleeping with hookers could just reinforce this view of women. But still I'm happy I was able to fuck.  I felt like it was a necessary evil. Now I don't want to do it again. I can't advise others on this - I can only share my experience.

Porn was a major part of my life for 18 years. In the last 4 months I only PMO'd once. Now I know I am able to have sex with a real person. My next step is to connect with somebody I really care for, who I can be honest with about this journey.

You are basically healed if MW has been consistent for that long