New Girlfriend. I have hit flatline.

I am worried about my flatline because I cannot talk to a new girfreind about porn addiction (I am afraid she will run a mile)

I have a new very sexy girlfriend and I think I have hit a flatline period. We had sex for the first time a couple of days ago. At first nothing she did could get me erect, I became deeply upset by this. After about 20 minutes of just lying around. I masturbated whilst looking at her and got hard and remained hard so we could have sex.

This is a weird period as I get hard sometimes when we cuddle with clothes on.?

Has anyone else experienced this, and how on earth would you approach this with a new girlfreind and other comments would be great.

PS am 42 if this has any bearing on answers.....

Thanks...

No expert on any of this, but as I got older I noticed I didn't get hard like I used too. Going to a strip club or just looking at porn got me in the mood but not hard.  I sure get hard  making out, and my lady can say things to me and I get hard. But I can loose it just as fast, then need some hand or oral. I now realize that quite a few times I have had to finish myself manually even thought I had my lady's pussy, mouth and hands available. I am sure porn is the reason. I do know that in the majority of porn that is the way they do it. Since  I stopped watching porn and M I has been able to finish inside and it does feel better for both of us. It only been two weeks for me but I do feel the improvement. Just be patient . I feel a lot of ED problems are caused by porn, the medical community seems to ignore this. They rather sell pils and testosterone boosters, there is no money to be made telling people just to quite jerking off so much. JMHO.

Inspiration: http://yourbrainonporn.com/guys-who-gave-porn-sex-and-romance

"Guys Who Gave Up Porn: On Sex and Romance "

Sex isn't only about sticking your cock in. Sex for women can be very pleasurable if you can make a girl cum through oral or through fingering, the best orgasms I have ever given women have been using my tongue or fingering. Learn how to be good at that and then sex will not be as big of an issue.

Despite being 24 I feel your pain boss.  What I did shocked my lady friend - I just told her, and she laughed and said 'I guess we are going to just be cuddle bunnies for a few months' - if she is into you then go for it - but I wouldn't let her in on your problem till you've been dating for a few weeks - and if the discussion of sex comes up - be ambiguous and be busy.

Brooklyn Jerry said:

No expert on any of this, but as I got older I noticed I didn't get hard like I used too. Going to a strip club or just looking at porn got me in the mood but not hard.  I sure get hard  making out, and my lady can say things to me and I get hard. But I can loose it just as fast, then need some hand or oral. I now realize that quite a few times I have had to finish myself manually even thought I had my lady's pussy, mouth and hands available. I am sure porn is the reason. I do know that in the majority of porn that is the way they do it. Since  I stopped watching porn and M I has been able to finish inside and it does feel better for both of us. It only been two weeks for me but I do feel the improvement. Just be patient . I feel a lot of ED problems are caused by porn, the medical community seems to ignore this. They rather sell pils and testosterone boosters, there is no money to be made telling people just to quite jerking off so much. JMHO.

Click to expand...

I agree with you bro-

My complaints about doctor's input with my problem hasn't been good at all
and it's chronicled on my journal.
Lately, I just recently had a doctor's visit unrelated.
I happened to give him an update about my ED issue and I told
him all i had to do was stop looking at porn and stop jacking off.
He said nothing and quickly got into another subject.

Thanks for your comments guys

Brookln thanks for the advice, I can relate to what you have written.

Androg thanks for the link.

Thanks for your input Withnail, I agree with you it isn't all about that....?..

Untolerable, good you told your lady, I think I may have a few ambiguous and busy moments!

Viper, I will check out your journal re the doctors problem. I had a good experience speaking to a nurse at at a local clinic she was worried about the effects that porn may have on her son?..

Brooklyn Jerry said:

No expert on any of this, but as I got older I noticed I didn't get hard like I used too. Going to a strip club or just looking at porn got me in the mood but not hard.  I sure get hard  making out, and my lady can say things to me and I get hard. But I can loose it just as fast, then need some hand or oral. I now realize that quite a few times I have had to finish myself manually even thought I had my lady's pussy, mouth and hands available. I am sure porn is the reason. I do know that in the majority of porn that is the way they do it. Since  I stopped watching porn and M I has been able to finish inside and it does feel better for both of us. It only been two weeks for me but I do feel the improvement. Just be patient . I feel a lot of ED problems are caused by porn, the medical community seems to ignore this. They rather sell pils and testosterone boosters, there is no money to be made telling people just to quite jerking off so much. JMHO.

Click to expand...

OMG this happened to me, I Was MB daily to high energy fetish videos, wasn't sure the girl I was seeing was into me, but then she wanted to see me. we'd been dating here and there for several months. I remember being able to get 70% hard, but not fully. We went to have sex, and I just couldn't get hard enough to make it happen well. I did manage to make it work first thing in the morning. My biggest mistake was not telling her the truth, and instead I told here it was just cos I was super nervous and stuff. She pretty much took it as me not finding her attractive, and I didn't see her again.

Another girl I was with I had to get her to choke me to get aroused, which scared me a little, given that I needed that domination to get aroused. I think for me, I've gone so far off on fetish stuff, I no longer have interest in sex, while I'm pursuing this content.

But that same week, I met another girl, and she was unbelievably hot  in my standards, I couldn't believe my luck, and had no problems, I actually released way too soon.

Millions of men masturbate to porn, including doctors. I highly doubt they see the bigger picture. Put that aside, quitting porn and masturbation would make a lor of people lose a lot of money. Now, let's get into the subject. If you can get hard enough watching porn and masturbating, then it is a psychological aspect. Do bear in mind that masturbation develops the need of a continuous stimulation, once you stop stimulating your penis, then you will lose the erection in seconds. That's what I call "local" or artificial erection. 99% of those erections are achieved and maintained by continuous, tight and fast stimulation of the hand, greatly boosted by porn, but it isn't a true erection. Real erections take place in the mind and maintained with very little physical help. This leads me to my final questions. How many times have you masturbated to porn in your life? I am guessing thousands. How many timed have you had sex? I bet not even 10% of the times you have masturbated to porn, and I am being generous. You need to stop masturbation and porn, both, forever, period. Get a rewiring partner. Explain this girl everything, she has to know. You are sick, we all are. We need time to heal. Performance anxiety, it will be there for a while. It will go away once you conquer your fear. It is not about how "hot" is the girl. Real sex is a stressful situation for all of us. The more sex we have, the better. Forget about your orgasm, enjoy the moment, even if you don't get to put it in. If you center your whole attention in getting hard, you will never get hard or will get a weak erection. The first thing that happens through our mind when we manage to get hard is put it in and go as fast as we can fearing that we will lose it any moment. Most times we do lose it and the girl feels that you don't like her or that she is just an object. Tell her. Tell her. Rewiring to normal sex will take time, maybe months, maybe more. You have to start now.

Thanks infiniti and Winterwolf.

Been away on a long relapse but back here which is good.

You need to tell her.  It's better to give her a reason than have her feeling she cannot turn you on.  Or that you're not sexually interested in her.  Once you confide in her, she'll more than likely happily help you out and be more patient with you!

Thanks for the contribution precise...