Require urgent help.. Triggers involved please help..

So hi..
I i have been trying to quit femdom/ humiliation porn from a very long time.

I had a foot fetish from a very long time..
Like at the age of 10 or so..
I used to play with a girl opposite to my house.. Where she would be the queen..
I would be her doormat.
She would enter the room and right in front of the chair.. I would be laying down
She would look down at me laugh and sit on chair.
She would sit crossed legs.. And then snap her fingers..
I would lick the bottom of her feet she used to just look down and smile cutely..

As soon as i was done she would wipe her feet on my face..

Later we shifted . Never saw her.
At the age of 13 my aunt got married and came to our house.. She was very dominant.. I loved her feet. She always sat crossed legs...

Im not sure why later i started looking at actress feet and femdom scenes on movies..

Later at 18 got access to high speed internet...
Looked to lot of fetish vedios.. Later into trampling.. And then to spitting .
My fav is when a beautiful girl is mean and ignores u when slave licks the bottom of her shoe.. Or laughs at him..

Why is this like this...
Looks like i loved what my childhood queen did to me..

How do i recover from this

Hi Shara, I struggle with having a fetish as well.  I can understand how difficult it can be to break a porn addiction.  You seem to be distressed.  But there is hope, and it is possible to recover from addiction.