A reboot without rewiring ?

hello there,

I guess a reboot without rewiring is not really a reboot,and that it would take way much more time. But I m currently without any partner, and i m wondering if any of you has ever heard about a successful reboot, as long as it might take, without a real partner in the equation: only hard mode, no PMO, no MO.

Is this heard of ?

Ha! We are under the same situation and I've been thinking about it during the last days.

Here's why I was thinking of it: In my case, is more difficult to avoid fantasies than avoiding internet porn. So, I've struggled constantly with that during the last 3 days and noticed few things that might match your concern: at this point, rebooting is a rewire with the real world, rather than just women.

The end result after three days suppressing my own fantasies:
1 (or: bad news is): I'm REALLY stressed and anxious. I noticed. My friends noticed and I caught myself willing to PMO and MO more than ever; Headaches, etc.
2 (or: good news is): I'm REALLY willing to talk to real woman and set the triggers straight. I mean, if you suffer PIED like me, you simply find no reason to talk to woman. In my case, it was because I was afraid to fail to get hard anyway. Or it was WAY EASIER watch porn.

During this reboot I regained that will to talk to women. Now reality is clearer than never and I see myself having to move my ass out of the chair and socialize. I believe this is a rewire, indeed.

My suggestion: If you do not have a partner, face reboot as the perfect opportunity to meet someone. You do not need to fuck every girl you talk to (no one really does, right?). But talking and socializing to real women is the key. Why? I'm sure you will notice genuine triggers coming back. That's rewire. Pay attention on how your PERCEPTION changes. Little by little. It is a slow process but you need to embrace the small progress on a daily basis.

Then, there will be one day (for both of us) flirting with real women will end up in finding a partner.

Willfer, thank your for your answer, and you are right, we have a very similar experience. Especially the part about being more able and willing to approach women and socialize. Usually I would have approach anxiety, but after 24 days off MO, I just don t care anymore and the only hinder is my anxiety about not being able to finalize the pick up.

As you can see by my counter, and by my new post in the success story section, i decided to give it a go anyway today, on my own, so I MOed. I don' t really consider it as a relapse for I didn't really cave in, I was really just willing to test it ( bad as well I know ). But the results were very good and very encouraging. I wonder what it might be with rewiring !

So from now on, no more testing, this one was enough to show me the light by the end of the tunnel but i do need to work on the no fantasy thing, you are just so right. I can perfectly control my urges, I am mostly experiencing some kind of a flatline, but i still have a lot of real partner / simple situation fantasies.

good luck on your reboot !

Obviously I am not saying fantasies will be prohibited for us fr the rest of our lives. It's just understand that reboot & rewire is a temporary state we all need to face to set the brain to its "default settings".

The big thing I noticed about fantasy is a really bad habit from my part: even fantasies with real women ended up with some porn in mind. None of that is generally acceptable by those women (specially in the first time you lay down in bed with them). This distorted thoughts causes "fake triggers" that might be the root cause for PIED.

I do not see "simple situation" as being harmful if in a moderate frequency. But for me that proved to be impossible. Due my distorted perception and porn addiction, I am simply unable to have a healthy "simple sexual fantasy" nowadays. Simply impossible. This is how sick I am and I can see that clear now.

So, I try moderate my thoughts so I can naturally direct my brain to the correct triggers. If I'm in doubt, then I don't step deep into that fantasy.

Yet, real-life talks with women were more enjoyable than fantasies. Maybe because I forced myself doing this, I don't know. This is a new experience for me too. So I cannot tell exactly why, but I sense that as being good to me.

Please, share if your perceptions changes as time passes by. I'll do this in this thread so we can share concerns and check if we are going to the right direction

Take care!
- William

of course !

I don't fantasize  with porn, or with real partner being in porn similar situation, so it s not a big trouble for me, worse case scenario being dirty words. But I do believe that if it s your case, you definitively need to prevent yourself from fantasizing. What your are describing used to happen to me in the beginning of the reboot, now it s gone, so give it time and it will eventually go away.

all the best

Yeah i've never had sex or even kissed a girl... i don't talk to any either. I mean PMOing is there any chance i will get better? I mean i got porn induced Ed from escalting to very hardcore porn... would stopping that set me back to normal? I mean it's hard because what if a girl starts liking you and you like them back but know you can't have sex and they will ask why and i dunno go tell people... people start saying stuff etc... you know schools right.

things are going to get better, and then, you should find someone nice and whom you trust, no because you suffer of PIED, but because it s nice to have a first sexual experience with someone you can trust.

you can always pick up a girl who s not at your school, and regarding the fact that you don't want to tell the whole truth, you can always make up a story, like you had to follow a treatment and the doc said that there would be side effect for some weeks, like less libido, and that should buy you the necessary time to rewire with her