rider654321
Active Member
I just wrote this advice into my own journal , but felt it might be worth saharing as a success story and advice too. This advice is really only suitable for married guy's or guy's in relationships with a SO.
Last night was another wonderfully successful congress with Mrs Rider. No signs of ED and everything functioning as it should. I am truly amazed at how things have turned around for me since finding YBOP and Reboot Nation.
I was a guy who had suffered through years of cronic ED and the associated performance anxiety that goes with it. I intuitively knew that my porn use was the problem, but I didn't understand the brain part of it until I came here and got educated!
I had tried quitting so many times and failed each time feeling defeated and useless. I can't express how strong an overwhelming sense of hopelessness I felt each time I failed. There were times where I had seriously thought the only way I could possibly escape this was to end my own life. I seriously hated who I was and I hated that I couldn't stop.
Today I am amazed at how quickly I have turned all that around. Thanks to the information I found on here and on YBOP as well as information other kind people shared with me I have managed to stay away from porn easily.
I truly believe the most important aspect of my success was that I put my focus on restoring and improving the intimacy in my relationship with my wife. I focused on learning ways to build intimacy in non sexual ways and then practiced those techniques and watched our relationship blossom.
Building intimacy and honouring my wife became the focus of my reboot. You see, I wasn't just giving up porn anymore, so my mind wasn't focused on things like how strong the urge was or how I as going to beat it. I was working toward something much deeper and more rewarding. My fight was no longer about giving up porn.
The interesting part was that because I wasn't in a fight with porn I didn't have very many urges to deal with. I'd made the realization early in my reboot that "porn was not an option" and I have stuck with it. Sure I had thoughts and urges for the first few weeks, but at that time I was also seeing the benefits beginning to show in my relationship with Mrs Rider from of the non sexual bonding techniques we were sharing. That encouraged me to stay focused on improving our relationship and thus I was not focused so much on beating the porn.
As I said before the key for me was that I was no longer in a battle with porn, I took my focus and put it to better use elsewhere.
The fun part about the non sexual bonding techniques is that they inevitably help build desire for your partner, not that I ever lacked desire for my wife, it's just that my desire couldn't always translate into an erection because of the way porn had fucked up my brain.
Three weeks in and things were really beginning to noticably change. My body was responding far more normally to intimacy, though we had been intimate several times earlier on in the reboot and had success there too, but not without some hit and miss. By three weeks we were really enjoying our intimate times together and it has only continued to get better since.
So my advice to you married guys and guy's with a SO, is to think about making the focus of your reboot about improving the intimacy within your relationship. Don't make it about fighting porn, fighting urges or getting better erections. Look at focusing on the quality of the intimacy within your relationship and just trust the rest to nature.
Last night was another wonderfully successful congress with Mrs Rider. No signs of ED and everything functioning as it should. I am truly amazed at how things have turned around for me since finding YBOP and Reboot Nation.
I was a guy who had suffered through years of cronic ED and the associated performance anxiety that goes with it. I intuitively knew that my porn use was the problem, but I didn't understand the brain part of it until I came here and got educated!
I had tried quitting so many times and failed each time feeling defeated and useless. I can't express how strong an overwhelming sense of hopelessness I felt each time I failed. There were times where I had seriously thought the only way I could possibly escape this was to end my own life. I seriously hated who I was and I hated that I couldn't stop.
Today I am amazed at how quickly I have turned all that around. Thanks to the information I found on here and on YBOP as well as information other kind people shared with me I have managed to stay away from porn easily.
I truly believe the most important aspect of my success was that I put my focus on restoring and improving the intimacy in my relationship with my wife. I focused on learning ways to build intimacy in non sexual ways and then practiced those techniques and watched our relationship blossom.
Building intimacy and honouring my wife became the focus of my reboot. You see, I wasn't just giving up porn anymore, so my mind wasn't focused on things like how strong the urge was or how I as going to beat it. I was working toward something much deeper and more rewarding. My fight was no longer about giving up porn.
The interesting part was that because I wasn't in a fight with porn I didn't have very many urges to deal with. I'd made the realization early in my reboot that "porn was not an option" and I have stuck with it. Sure I had thoughts and urges for the first few weeks, but at that time I was also seeing the benefits beginning to show in my relationship with Mrs Rider from of the non sexual bonding techniques we were sharing. That encouraged me to stay focused on improving our relationship and thus I was not focused so much on beating the porn.
As I said before the key for me was that I was no longer in a battle with porn, I took my focus and put it to better use elsewhere.
The fun part about the non sexual bonding techniques is that they inevitably help build desire for your partner, not that I ever lacked desire for my wife, it's just that my desire couldn't always translate into an erection because of the way porn had fucked up my brain.
Three weeks in and things were really beginning to noticably change. My body was responding far more normally to intimacy, though we had been intimate several times earlier on in the reboot and had success there too, but not without some hit and miss. By three weeks we were really enjoying our intimate times together and it has only continued to get better since.
So my advice to you married guys and guy's with a SO, is to think about making the focus of your reboot about improving the intimacy within your relationship. Don't make it about fighting porn, fighting urges or getting better erections. Look at focusing on the quality of the intimacy within your relationship and just trust the rest to nature.