Ways to stop myself from binging?
- Thread starter fofojo
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goodvibes144
Member
You can inbox me if you wanna talk I?m having this same issue I relapsed and binged 7 times today
I
Icandoit
Guest
In years of porn abuse, we build tolerance. Tolerance means you don't feel the same high with the same amount of "drug", in our case our drug being porn. All of us remember a time when a little amount of porn made us feel great and then, after year, we need more and more. This is how addictions work, addictions of all kind. Addicts build tolerance and end up consuming big amounts, so big that in the beginning seemed too much.
Binges are, for porn addicts, how we consume big amounts of our drug, namely porn. We built tolerance, we wanted the same high, we consumed more and more until we ended up PMO-ing like 5-7 times a day, plus the escalation of porn which is another subject.
Now you are asking "What can I do about binges?" Well, it's not a simple answer. You have ended up binging to get high because your tolerance had gotten high. It happens to all of us. What to do about it? The answer might not be so simple. Theoretically, all you have to do is never start in the first place. If you don't PMO, you don't binge. Because after years of abuse, we deal with what we call "chaser effect", which means after one PMO, you crave another one so much. Your dopamine levels drop and you feel so low in dopamine that you want to "elevate" yourself and you "think" that another PMO will increase those levels of dopamine and make you stop feeling like that. In the end, you end up doing 7 PMOs in one day. I used to PMO 7 times a day with ease now I would probably get to 5. My age, years of porn abuse or whatever the cause, things don't look well because I seemed to get worse: Less PMOs and a lot more days of "flatline" before the next urges kick in. This is definitely not a bright future.
So back to our problem: The "best way" is to never PMO. That will stop the urge to binge. But it's never so simple. How are you going to never PMO? This is another question and I've been trying for years to figure out a plan to never do that first PMO so I could avoid binges.
Binges are, for porn addicts, how we consume big amounts of our drug, namely porn. We built tolerance, we wanted the same high, we consumed more and more until we ended up PMO-ing like 5-7 times a day, plus the escalation of porn which is another subject.
Now you are asking "What can I do about binges?" Well, it's not a simple answer. You have ended up binging to get high because your tolerance had gotten high. It happens to all of us. What to do about it? The answer might not be so simple. Theoretically, all you have to do is never start in the first place. If you don't PMO, you don't binge. Because after years of abuse, we deal with what we call "chaser effect", which means after one PMO, you crave another one so much. Your dopamine levels drop and you feel so low in dopamine that you want to "elevate" yourself and you "think" that another PMO will increase those levels of dopamine and make you stop feeling like that. In the end, you end up doing 7 PMOs in one day. I used to PMO 7 times a day with ease now I would probably get to 5. My age, years of porn abuse or whatever the cause, things don't look well because I seemed to get worse: Less PMOs and a lot more days of "flatline" before the next urges kick in. This is definitely not a bright future.
So back to our problem: The "best way" is to never PMO. That will stop the urge to binge. But it's never so simple. How are you going to never PMO? This is another question and I've been trying for years to figure out a plan to never do that first PMO so I could avoid binges.
doneatlast
Well-Known Member
fofojo said:
It is very hard to avoid binging. People here sometimes talk about the "chaser effect" where you just want to dive back in. If you have been away from your favorite material, you might feel like you didn't get to all of it the "first round". But for me when I was having this problem, the biggest temptation to binge was when I figured "well, I've relapsed... I'll get back up later, but for now I don't have the energy". I figured that if I'd already relapsed, it didn't matter how many times I dove back in during the next 48 hours or whatever. A big binge has the effect of removing your progress. Getting back up quickly helps you keep it.
What helped me was just changing my frame of mind. When we're trying to quit, we think about streaks. We think about the length of time we can abstain, and that is our only measure. We don't think about the times when we aren't abstaining. Instead, I started to think about each time I said "no" to an opportunity for porn I was doing myself a favor. If you can only make it a couple days without relapsing, then fine... just make sure that after you relapse you get back up as soon as possible, and you'll see those couple days turn to several and then a week after a while. Saying "no" to a craving, an opportunity to dive head first into porn is a way to rewire yourself away from porn. In some ways (not all), it doesn't matter if you're saying "no" at the beginning of a streak, at the end of the streak, in the middle, or even right after a relapse. Any "no" you offer to porn helps you. Your porn brain is NOT going to be telling you that after a relapse. It will be telling you that you're a failure, you're a weenie, and that more porn is the only thing that will make you feel better. Don't listen to that weenie.
After a relapse you're not going to feel like doing anything. You'll feel lazy, and you'll also feel a bit self-punishing, so you'll feel like you want to wallow. Get up, move around, and fight that mood. Do something to clear your head... a long walk is something that works for me, it might be something else for you. If you can break that mood, you'll be doing yourself a big favor. And keep telling yourself that saying "no" to porn is always powerful, regardless of how long your streak is or how recently you relapsed.
I
Icandoit
Guest
DoneAtLast said:
Exactly. The thing with relapsing is that it fucks up the dopamine circuit. You feel so low that you want to elevate yourself and you only know how to do it with porn. If you resit and don't do it with porn, it's brutal. It's very difficult, it's doable (I've done this) but it's very very hard. It's some sort of lingering annoying craving that seems so small but at the same time seems so unbearable. I don't know how to explain it, you have to feel it. I mean, I had unbearable urges, I relapsed just to stop them. Then the chaser effect was so small but I binged 6 more times. Why? it was less intense than the urges. Well, it's something there. I might not know the science behind this but it's definitely something there. Of course, the only way to avoid all this shit is to never PMO in the first place.
hooked on monkey fonics
Member
Why do you want to avoid binging?
Once you've reached the point of no return and PMOd, I don't necessarily think that binging is a bad idea. It kind of helps you achieve that post nut clarity.
Once you've reached the point of no return and PMOd, I don't necessarily think that binging is a bad idea. It kind of helps you achieve that post nut clarity.