Hi everybody,
After I PMO'd 3 times on a sunday, I googled for 'sex addiction'. I came across reboot nation and it really opened my eyes.
I started out with magazines when I was about 9, looked at softcore shows and VHS and started M'ing when I was 11. Then I got Highspeed internet at 14 and right now I'm almost 30 and have PMO'd for over half of my life.
I felt like sh!t after PMO'ing for the 3rd time that sunday evening, realising I had been watching something that an 18 year old me would have thought to be disgusting. It was only that sunday that I remembered I once had ED with an old gf and she told me I might be addicted to porn. I took it as a joke at the time. I had been taking it as a joke al my life, just casually talking about it with friends, feeling no shame at all. Until I started watching more and more hardcore porn in my mid 20s. At that point I stopped talking about it with my friends, but still thought of porn as a good way to cope with depression.
Reading so many stories and listening to Gabe on video made me realize something I thought I'd never say: I am a porn addict and I have a problem. Being able to relating to so many of you, I can now see porn might be part of the cause of feelings of depression and loneliness. Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend three years ago, I haven't had much interest in meeting new girls, dealt with depression and watched very hardcore porn whenever I felt bad.
It's 18 days since that sunday and I haven't PMO'd since. I entered the flatine on very the first day and have had a dead dick for about 12 days. Luckily I didn't freak out, because I read about the flatline. A few days ago I dreamt about watching porn and have felt strong urges to PMO again. I'm very glad that every time I had that urge, I opened my browser and read inspiring stories and this forum.
I'm very motivated to completely reboot my brain, finding the will to be in love a woman again and stop PMO'ing for the rest of my life. Yes, porn has given me brief moments of relief in the past, but in retrospect, has cost me way more that it has given me. I hope to keep finding inspiration on this forum to continue my reboot and hope to be able to help others with the same problem as well.
I start my journal at day 18 and hope to be able to finish it without a relapse. I'd already like to so thanks to everybody on this page who has shared their story, because I'm sure we'll help each other that way!
After I PMO'd 3 times on a sunday, I googled for 'sex addiction'. I came across reboot nation and it really opened my eyes.
I started out with magazines when I was about 9, looked at softcore shows and VHS and started M'ing when I was 11. Then I got Highspeed internet at 14 and right now I'm almost 30 and have PMO'd for over half of my life.
I felt like sh!t after PMO'ing for the 3rd time that sunday evening, realising I had been watching something that an 18 year old me would have thought to be disgusting. It was only that sunday that I remembered I once had ED with an old gf and she told me I might be addicted to porn. I took it as a joke at the time. I had been taking it as a joke al my life, just casually talking about it with friends, feeling no shame at all. Until I started watching more and more hardcore porn in my mid 20s. At that point I stopped talking about it with my friends, but still thought of porn as a good way to cope with depression.
Reading so many stories and listening to Gabe on video made me realize something I thought I'd never say: I am a porn addict and I have a problem. Being able to relating to so many of you, I can now see porn might be part of the cause of feelings of depression and loneliness. Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend three years ago, I haven't had much interest in meeting new girls, dealt with depression and watched very hardcore porn whenever I felt bad.
It's 18 days since that sunday and I haven't PMO'd since. I entered the flatine on very the first day and have had a dead dick for about 12 days. Luckily I didn't freak out, because I read about the flatline. A few days ago I dreamt about watching porn and have felt strong urges to PMO again. I'm very glad that every time I had that urge, I opened my browser and read inspiring stories and this forum.
I'm very motivated to completely reboot my brain, finding the will to be in love a woman again and stop PMO'ing for the rest of my life. Yes, porn has given me brief moments of relief in the past, but in retrospect, has cost me way more that it has given me. I hope to keep finding inspiration on this forum to continue my reboot and hope to be able to help others with the same problem as well.
I start my journal at day 18 and hope to be able to finish it without a relapse. I'd already like to so thanks to everybody on this page who has shared their story, because I'm sure we'll help each other that way!