Starting Now Limp to Rock

Jack Can

Active Member
I am 21 years old and every time I try to have sex with a girl I don't get hard enough. One girl last week was literally giving me a BJ for like 6 minutes and I didn't get fully erect. I don't think I've ever been so confused in my life, I mean when I look at porn I get hard before I even enter the porn site... Just typing "po" into the address bar will give me a semi. So of course when it was time for the real thing I thought I'd be rock hard for hours, nope. It was a very odd time for me.

I have PMO'd 2-3 times a day pretty much since I was 13. I didn't do many sports in high school so most of my time was filled with porn and video games. It made me like a zombie, just bouncing between my house and school in a dopamine haze. After the time I mentioned in the first paragraph I called up my brother to see if he had any ideas on the whole thing. He said some of his coworkers actually were talking about giving up porn (I was pretty surprised by that because I thought porn was a taboo subject). So right after I heard it may be the problem I started searching around for answers on the internet. Found Gabe's videos, found Rebootnation, and here I am.

I gave up porn 2 weeks ago to try to fix my problem. However, when I read more from this website I learned that if you stopped masturbating as well you will recover faster. I'm all about a speedy recovery. But, that will make it a little harder because I get some serious urges to M about every 4 days.

But I am starting now! no more PMO, I'll post updates of how I'm doing on here.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
I'm reading other articles from people with PIED and I'm starting to get scared... I don't want to have to go months without being able to be with a girl, I just want to be normal when school starts back up which is in 3 weeks. But from what I've read no one has recovered in 3 weeks which fucking sucks.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
@retro- thanks! I'll look into that

Day 1

Just completed day #1 without masturbating, it was pretty easy, no urges.

I just watched a conversation with Joe rogan and Dorian Yates which was helpful in my case. Dorian who was a 6 time Mr. Olympia champion was talking about his lifting regimen which was very difficult, and he said that he wrote down his goals so he would of course follow through with them. He would not go against his own goals because things got tough and he would not miss his time at the gym, or his diet, or when he needed to go to sleep. He knew what he needed to do so he did that, I am trying to mimic his level of focus towards other areas in my life as well
 

Jones

Active Member
You want a quick fix mane,but there is none. You have to go that mile if you want to recover.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 3 completed

I woke up with 100% MW this morning. Pretty crazy that it happened this fast right? When do people usually start flatlining? Anyways, one thing I've found when my dick starts to tingle and I need to masturbate is I just need to pee. Kind of crazy that I thought that meant I needed to masturbate in the past...
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 4 Completed

I should probably stop saying completed at the end of the days because it isn't really a challenge to not look at porn or fap anymore. I know it's only day 5 so it's not that long of a time but I'm feeling good.

The second I couldn't get hard for that girl I knew something was up and I didn't want that to ever happen again. Immediately after I started googling stuff and found Gabe's video, and that marked the end of my porn watching career. This forum is a really cool way to post my struggles with this!

Will post again at Day 7!
 

Jack Can

Active Member
1 Week Done!
My first week of no PMO or MO is done, it's a really good feeling knowing that I am healing from some of my dysfunctions haha. But I've noticed I have a whole lot of extra time on my hands that I'm not doing anything because I'm not M'ing anymore, so lately I've just been watching hours of Gabe Deem's and Noah Church's videos.

Anyways, in one of their videos they talked about the importance of switching out your bad habit of PMO with good ones. This is really good because I've been interested in starting to do some new things. So I am going to turn this journal more towards how I am doing in some of the things I want to get good at, some of these are lifting weights (Over a year I'd like to achieve a    135 lb. bench, 95 lb. overhead press, 225 lb. squat, and 315 lb. deadlift), running (Run a 25 minute 5k), and become a better pool player (not sure how to measure this yet)

I'm really excited to see my progress with these goals, and if you guys have any suggestions for my goals let me know!
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 8

Today was a really good day, I'm on vacation right now in Kansas City and having a pretty good time  :). Today I walked around the city and got some wicked good BBQ from this place called Gate's.

I saw a super cute girl walking a dog and I told her I liked her dog, she smiled and said thanks. I always like like it when I talk to cute girls because usually I'm too shy, so I guess that was a small win.

another good thing is that I have had 0 urge to PMO all day! Since I am on vacation, I didn't start the goals I posted yesterday. But don't worry, as soon as I get back I'll get to working on those.

Stay Classy, RebootNation.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 10
I'm at a wedding for the weekend so I can't PMO even if I wanted to, which I don't, but there is too much stuff going on. Still not working on my goals yet, but when I get back I will. I am sure this blog will get a whole lot more interesting to read in like a week time.

Stay classy, RebootNation
 

Jack Can

Active Member
2 weeks!!

I haven't PMO'd or MO'd in 2 weeks, this is my all-time record. I tried last year and got 2 weeks, but that was before I learned about my ED... I am taking it much more seriously now.

Going through these last 2 weeks I have learned a couple of situations I should avoid:
  • staying up late watching movies on my computer
  • Being bored and alone in my room
These are situations where urges hit me the hardest

I've noticed I have been getting a lot more erections randomly throughout the day. In the past I would masturbate 2-3 times a day so spontaneous erections would not happen so I am very happy about this.

I have been alone in my house for the past couple of days before I move into my new apartment and am very excited to get there to start talking and connecting with new people. I feel like I have an energy about me that wants to spread out and meet new people.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
17 Days
I'm moving into my apartment tomorrow and am very excited, all of the goals I set a week earlier will start to actually begin progressing. On a side note, I was talking with my brother and we talked about how my mom actually might have contributed to my porn addiction.
You see, she was always pretty neurotic and would get highly stressed out whenever I would leave the house. This made me stay inside of the house at the beginning of high school and just play games on my laptop instead of going out and chasing girls around.
The games quickly turned to porn and when I got older and should have naturally became interested in girls I was in the pornography haze, too lethargic and excited to get home to watch more porn to take any action.

Typing that out and seeing the direction my life has gone because of my PMO addiction is really shocking to me. What would my life had been like had I never watched it?

Sometimes I feel like looking back is pointless and will only make me sad, but I see it as a sign of power. I see it as a way with 100% certainty that will make it so I never relapse to porn again.
 
F

Finw?

Guest
I've had the same feelings. I was a porn zombie throughout my entire teens. Everything would've been totally different if it weren't for porn.

Good job ridding yourself of it.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
^Thanks a lot Finwe!

Day 18

I just moved into my apartment and I don't really have any urges right now. I do feel lazy a lot though, I think the brainfog that comes right after MO'ing has kind of stuck itself to my personality and motivations. Does anyone have any thoughts on that?

Anyways, I'm going to try and force myself to go play some pool in a bit to work on my game. I played for about 30 minutes last night and it is pretty hard and something I would like to get good at.
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Still Day 18..

So I had PIED very bad 18 days ago, since then I have not been around women much. I am on some dating sites though and I've got about 3 girls that want to go on a date with me, which makes me pretty nervous.

I don't even know if I want to try dating again until I am done with at least 30 days because it is pretty fucking embarrassing not being able to get it up (as many of you probably know). But I guess I am getting the opportunity to test it out. What do you guys think I should do? get off the sites, or go on the dates?
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 19

Today I woke up and lifted weights on the stronglifts 5x5 program I am super weak right now. Squat 85 lbs, bench 65 lbs, Barbell Row 65 lbs, the program recomended I start out with low weights. There was a semi cute girl at the gym that I talked to for a little bit before I left, so I felt good about that. Breakfast was next with 5 eggs and a giant sausage.

With such a productive morning you would think the rest of my day would also be productive.. Nope! Didn't really accomplish much after that.

Just went out and drank w/the roommates

 

Jack Can

Active Member
3 Weeks Baby!!

I had another pretty productive morning, lifted, then made breakfast. Afterwards it went downhill pretty fast again lol. I spent like 4 hours finishing season 2 of love, which was decent... Shouldn't have wasted my time (which is actually like all tv shows.. except game of thrones of course).

I think from now on I'm not going to watch anymore tv series' and just try to get out of the house as much as possible. I'm going to go read now
 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 24

I haven't had any MW in awhile which is fairly concerning, but that is paired with no urge or desire to MO. Throughout the day I will usually get like 2-3 60% spontaneous erections; I'm not sure if I was just not turned on very much or if eventually I will start getting 100% spontaneous erections in the day (this actually sounds pretty annoying haha).

If I did two things consistently this past week it was not MOing and also lifting weights on MWF, which are both my most serious goals right now. I am super proud of myself for making it this far, even though I have not yet started experiencing the dreaded withdrawals that I am reading about in others' journals. All that said though, the hardest part of my journey is still yet to come.

My school starts up on Monday and I will have way more urges there. So many pretty girls, in the past I would take mental snapshots of these girls and make up sexual fantasies with them later when I got home. This, of course, isn't a possibility anymore, so I just hope I will start viewing them as someone I can meet and become friends with. I've only had 2 friends that were girls and, not trying to be judgmental here, but both of them were pretty ugly, I guess them being ugly just made it easier to not overly sexualize them and view them as people with opinions.

On Monday when I am in class and joining clubs, I just hope to be able to share who I am (not sharing that I had PA haha) with more people. Not to mention I hope I will have better study habits.

 

Jack Can

Active Member
Day 25

Damn. School starts tomorrow which kinda stinks.. I wish I would've learned about this rebooting stuff at the beginning of the summer instead of nearing the end. Oh well. coulda, woulda, shoulda. I guess I'll just take it really slow when I start talking to girls.

Anyways, today I went to this student involvement fair and learned about a bunch of really cool clubs and activities going around on my campus, a bunch of cute girls their too. I signed up to get emails from the climbing club, the meteorology club (storm chasing looks like so much fun on TV), the Japanese culture club (Cute girl at the booth and I love sushi), a christian club, and an international film study group. It was so much fun to just be around people again and not be secluded like I was for most of the summer.

I don't have all of my stuff ready for school tomorrow which is what I'll do after I finish writing this post.
 

MarcusSecret

Active Member
Jack Can said:
17 Days
I'm moving into my apartment tomorrow and am very excited, all of the goals I set a week earlier will start to actually begin progressing. On a side note, I was talking with my brother and we talked about how my mom actually might have contributed to my porn addiction.
You see, she was always pretty neurotic and would get highly stressed out whenever I would leave the house. This made me stay inside of the house at the beginning of high school and just play games on my laptop instead of going out and chasing girls around.
The games quickly turned to porn and when I got older and should have naturally became interested in girls I was in the pornography haze, too lethargic and excited to get home to watch more porn to take any action.

Typing that out and seeing the direction my life has gone because of my PMO addiction is really shocking to me. What would my life had been like had I never watched it?

Sometimes I feel like looking back is pointless and will only make me sad, but I see it as a sign of power. I see it as a way with 100% certainty that will make it so I never relapse to porn again.

I had to log back in after ages. This surely contributed to mee pmoing too in my teens! But don't sob about it, just understand it and be who you want to be in the future. We only have the present.
 
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