"Now - Fulfill Your Destiny!"

"Now - Fulfill Your Destiny!"

My Destiny here is completing a 90 day reboot and then some without PMO. After that goal is reached I will assess and update this post. I am in my mid 30's and have been addicted to PMO since 13 or so due to having access to dirty magazines and dial-up internet without adult filters. Don't know that adult filters existed during the dial-up era I wasn't looking for them and never had to bypass one.

This is not my first no-PMO reboot attempt I have given it a go many times especially the last few years and have been trying since learning about NF in 2016. For me PMO has always been a form of stress relief much like every other addiction I have overcome and with each addiction removed it gets to a point that if you don't get set in healthy good habits for stress relief you are going to relapse on something. These brains of ours takes the path of least resistance working "smarter not harder" for itself so got to make it easier to healthily remove stress (edit) this is key and I associate this with maintaining longer no-PMO streaks in the past.

Stress relief with healthy and accessible hobbies became a must-have for me along with understanding our stress hormone cortisol and taking action to keep it low & regulated - all of which I will discuss in this journal when I get there (edit) though I would like to take a moment to speak on hobbies. The old, bad PMO activities to me had become a sort of a "secret hobby" of "bad habits" that is not good for me. There is still a thrill to my mind every time company leaves the house as if to say "hey you, now's the chance" - no thank you, Brain. This is my chance to discover & practice healthy new "secret & overt hobbies" alike, especially for the room I always did the dirty deed, the mind has to learn there is something better of value worth living for to it. My room has become a sanctuary for book reading and advanced calisthenics, and when I need to get out of it I have taught myself the hobby of preparing whole plant based foods full of carbs to power through my workouts and recovery time. Much stress relief simply in taking a walk, this has become my favorite parts of the day.

I started working towards a Nofap November this month on the 1st decided I would also like to pursue the 90 day reboot with all the help I can get so I registered with the forums here, I am determined to take responsibility for my life and turn things around.

What were my triggers?  Reading the 4-letter P word on a computer, thinking about neighbor's wife that likes to look sexy, unblocking images on a website for petty reasons while said site is likely to flash NSFW content. (edit)
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?  Walking when the rain lets up.
What am I grateful for today?  Rainy day trickling onto tin roof (edit) and people who give me difficulty day to day so I may take time to understand how to better live.
Day 21 no PMO

Hi NowFulflllYourDestiny,

I read that you have tried to stop PMO several times and that you're now trying again. Kudos to you for trying again! That's great. But have you thought about what will be different this time? How will you overcome the things that held you back previously? How will you learn from the previous relapses? I really hope you can make it and I wish you the best!

Wolfman said:

have you thought about what will be different this time? How will you overcome the things that held you back previously? How will you learn from the previous relapses? I really hope you can make it and I wish you the best!

Click to expand...

Stress reduction is the difference   and also took time to read up on articles concerning cortisol regulation, it would be cool to find some peer reviewed studies. Anyhow I have compiled a list of everything happening in my life I believe is contributing to less stress - will share shortly!

This is the list I said I would share - be warned - my way of life is likely to challenge modern forms of daily living for some. This is not a debate of some sort but rather me explaining my point of view so take what you will from it and leave the rest  

Drama-free zone I am happy to answer questions but let us not turn DM's into a debate platform I have no need to debate! That said if anyone has pertinent information you would like to share I do look forward to review and happy to give feedback.

Still being out of a job combined with more time afforded to multiple daily efforts of stress reduction seems to be thanks for the progress this go around. The urges are infrequent and all I really have to do to shake them is stop and think about something else, do something else. Here is a compiled list of everything I believe is contributing to minimizing my stress:

No job

PMO Journaling

12 Step Journaling

No syrup drinks aka Soda / Coke - see "No added sugar" & "Water" below Such drinks are laced with addictive sugar, syrups, and caffeine, a most dangerous combination to overworking the pancreas no doubt contributing to type 2 diabetes epidemic.

WATER   Water is what I drink most the day and I am sure to stay hydrated, dehydration would be a stress to the body. I also drink fruit smoothies from my blender along with a plant-based milk such as almond, coconut, soy, etc have to watch those for added sugar and salt.

No added sugar, only sugar from whole foods - though I do put fruits to the blender. Was doing agave and maple syrups but they are way too sweet for me now I can't do them. This is a stress relief coming from using added sugars because you stop overworking your pancreas.

Minimally processed food - I don't buy processed it is usually packed with additives and preservatives. Because of this I know more exactly what I am putting into my body. If I consume anything processed, it is because I put whole foods into a blender myself. Sure the plant milks are my one of my few exceptions buying processed though someday I will have a routine to make at home, I hear it taste the best. My other exceptions are condiments like mustard and ketchup - who knows maybe homemade is really darn good and I do that someday. EDIT

Whole food plant based, like 100% - I know people will want to call bs on that but really something you won't know until you do it

Walking - one of the best things you can do to regulate cortisol, the stress hormone.

Body Mass Index (BMI) in the Normal range. Obesity BMI is a constant stress to the body so considering Normal as an opposite reaction in body that reduces stress

Lot of nature in my backyard, still lots of green trees and birds.

I have an eating routine now that hits every daily recommended nutrient - allowing my body to relax a bit more not living in a state of any known deficiency. I track this for free on Cronometer.com

Meditation - helps me come to my senses identifying rogue thinking patterns or unpleasant memories as well as relaxing. With good habits, thinking patterns can be replaced. New and better memories can be made to overshadow bad ones.

Calisthenics - while this creates a temporary stress on the body it is not a constant stress. For the simple fact that it gets my body moving anytime and even on a rainy day I feel it contributes overall to stress reduction.

Running - while this also creates a temporary stress on the legs, there is just something about getting that circulation pumping that feels so right, it is so relaxing even long after it is done. This can be accomplished with any form of cardio that gets your heart to thumping.

No alcohol - less stress to liver and pancreas both because many drinks are heavily packed with sugar especially when mixed with coke. As an addict I would not stop drinking until I couldn't. A year ago I was a few years sober and gave chance to a drink of bourbon cocktail a gamer friend had offered me and immediately craved more, thank goodness I told them to cut me off and they did.

No cigarettes - less stress on lungs, use to smoke often. Never hit a pack per day often but abstaining is noticeable difference. Hookah bars I would smoke way too much.

Quit gaming therefore no stressful or violent video games - while many games were a way to relieve stress there were some that were so full of stress I would be throwing my controller, biting my controller, and swearing at my television with high blood pressure, red in the face. Was usually the highly competitive PVP gun game multiplayers when losing trying to unlock some stupid weapon camo or gun.

What were my triggers?  Browsing a clean wallpaper-finder app that didn't even have anything visually triggering, brain was thinking on that naughty track like "Hey maybe there will be some skin if you keep looking" - I deleted the app.
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?  Putting headphone earbuds in my ears silences the world around me contributing to less anxiety around those people who usually spike it. A 14 minute walk this morning helped to melt away any stress that was there.
What am I grateful for today?  My addictive personality constantly reminding me to live as autonomous as possible, that I should keep the wide world of things set apart from me as often I can.
Day 23 no PMO

Relapse, 27 days was nice streak, know I have it in me to do better.
What were my triggers? Stress. Was feeling off today taking walk made me more tired, should not be a nutritional deficiency. Thanksgiving holiday stress from a mindf%#k psycho verbally abusive family and anonymous stalker sending threats to my cell phone. Will be living out my days somewhere else much better for me, that day will soon come. Taking interest in attending Sexaholic Anonymous or All Addictions Anonymous meetings I believe I would benefit well from such.
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?  The dirty deed and TV binge.
What am I grateful for today?  This relapse, I will turn out better for it.
Day 0 no PMO