Fight this, you're soldiers

Stretchcomic · May 28, 2015

Whats up guys, just wanted to remind y'all that all the best things in life are earned, don't let this beat you. For starters, I'm 19 and am going up against PIED so that I can better be with this girl I like. Y'all already know what you want, that's why you joined the Nation. My big question here is: does anyone have special quotes or specific thoughts that keep them strong through the process? My personal favorites are:
"The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates
"The man on top of the mountain was not dropped there." - Vic Lombardi
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius

Let me know your thoughts and fight on!

Stretchcomic · May 29, 2015

I just asked this girl I've had a thing with for awhile and I officially have a girlfriend now! Gotta say that I'm psyched because I really care about this girl and she almost eliminates my thoughts of PMO completely and makes the rebooting process easier, but i'm also TERRIFIED because I am fairly sure I wont be able to "satisfy her" for a few more months while I heal and can't think of a way to bring myself to tell her. I really like this girl, and i'm afraid to lose her right after I got her...

HandsomeAwkward · May 29, 2015

Hey man, congrats on taking this step with your life.
Just want to offer some input on the girl thing, it's awesome that you have a GF now. If I were you, I wouldn't really mention it until sex becomes a possibility. Like if she starts dropping hints that she wants the D, then maybe tell her you actually need to tell her something, and let her know what's going on. I say that because it'd be kinda weird like if you just got this girl and you're like "oh by the way, I don't know if you want to but if you do, we can't have sex for a while" haha. Anyway, regardless of how you tell her, if she isn't kind and understanding and willing to work with you and wait with you then she's simply not worth your time man. And there's nothing you can do about that.
Point being, don't worry about it too much. Just tell her when the time is appropriate, and regardless of what she answers it's win-win for you. Win if she's willing to wait because she's willing to wait, and win if she's not willing to wait because that means you just dodged a bullet anyway haha.

Stay strong and stay clean Stretch

Recovery101 · May 29, 2015

Welcome to the forum man! Congrats on your GF. Don't worry, if you keep on the path you are on, you will be able to "satisfy" her.

I have a thing for a girl too, but she has a BF.... :'( Anyway my favorite quotes are probably from song lyrics. For example
"Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty!" -Guns N Roses
"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it'd only me and I walk alone." -Green Day
"When the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now, entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now entertain us." -Nirvana
And my favorite
"Learning to walk again. I believe I've waited long enough where to I begin? Learning to talk again. Can't you see I've waited long enough where do I begin?" -Foo Fighters
Stay strong bro! And may you and your GF have a happy relationship -Rec101

Stretchcomic · May 30, 2015

Thank you guys both for the support! Hopefully she's okay with waiting for awhile before the topic comes up, and I guess we'll see if I dodged a bullet or got a winner here afterall! Keep up the good work Awkward and Rec101!

-SC

Psychosocial1997 · May 30, 2015

Well I'm in the same boat as you pal! Im 18 and i just got a girlfriend. However i told her my situation in a roundabout way. I told her that I'm a recovering addict and that this addiction destroyed my sex drive and its slowly coming back but it will be a bit before we start doing stuff. NOW I DIDNT LIE IN SAYING THAT! Thats the truth dumbed down. I simply said that and suggest you do the same. If she asked what you were addicted to then just say you don't want to talk about it. Again, its not lying to your girlfriend. You told her the truth. My girlfriend said she understands completely and will work with me! So try it out man!

Stretchcomic · May 30, 2015

Thank you, Psychosocial!! And hey congrats on both the girlfriend and the 110 days since last MO! Glad your gf understands too, that's a solid start to a relationship my man

Stretchcomic · May 31, 2015

Coming up on the one week mark, staying focused is getting tough but I'm trying to keep a level head. Hoping that the worst stages are at least almost over. There's more important things in life than a screen and its all going to be worth it in the end. Fight on, Fapstronauts.

-SC

Stretchcomic · May 31, 2015

Finally passed the one week mark, the anxiety and emotional turmoil was awful but the payoff was definitely worth it. For anyone trying to make it past that barrier, I have a few suggestions! First, I've always liked working out but now I've been doing so to exhaustion. Usually I stay for about 2-2.5 hours until I don't have any energy left to even commit to PMO. Plus working out releases endorphins which give you that natural rewarded feeling and you feel too successful to collapse.
Another thing that's helped me that I haven't mentioned is I'm actually also a stand-up comedian, which is why I call myself "Stretchcomic" (the "stretch" portion relating the fact that i'm 6'7) and focusing on that has been a release. I'm writing more material than ever and my stage presence has been stronger. Not sure how many comedians we have out there, but the general idea is to focus your energy on something you're passionate about. Whether that's exercise, reading, cooking, poetry, anything. Replace that PMO void with something positive. Stay strong, guys

-SC

Stretchcomic · Jun 1, 2015

It's Day 8 and I think i'm beginning to flatline. Been down in the dumps all day and even slight nausea, but the goal has not changed. I'm hoping that this is only going to be a short time of my reboot period, because this is boring as all hell.
One thing that's helped me though is the idea that this is all really a simple choice. I know the feeling after I relapse: the depression and guilt feels way worse than any sort of flatline state, because at least now I know that i'm succeeding. The simple choice is this: How do I want to feel tomorrow? I could relapse, and inevitably feel horrible about starting over. Or I could fight it, wake up in yet another day of success, and be proud of the effort i'm putting in. Try your best to make the options simple, so that you have a clear choice.

Fight on, Nation!

-SC

Ace · Jun 2, 2015

Here's a quote which I believe comes from sir Isaac Newton,

"The way to chastity is not to struggle directly with incontinent thoughts but to avert your thoughts by some employment, by reading or meditating on other things or by converse. For he who is thinking of chastity will always be thinking of women."

A bit broader than just PMO but still, I think, applicable.

Recovery101 · Jun 2, 2015

That's a very good motive SC! It's very similar to mine about doing it for that special someone and wanting to have a real and loving relationship with them lol. Proud of you man! Keep up the good work. And the flatland should be over in a week or 2. That's how it was for me. Stay strong bro!
-Rec101

Stretchcomic · Jun 3, 2015

Had what I think is an incredibly beneficial day yesterday in my reboot process!

I was having some serious writer's block writing new material that I wanted to use in my standup set for tonight and I was getting really frustrated. It creeped in my head that M'ing just once to relieve the stress might save my performance, but decided not to cave. I ended up writing while pacing laps around my house and wrote down some good stuff!
After the writing, I went to hang out with my gf at her place and things started happening. While I wasn't able to get hard enough to penetrate (think "uncooked hotdog") I got to be about 60-ish%, which is better than what I can say for my previous attempts. And I read that even just spending time with the a partner you care about helps the rewiring process along with rebooting to switch my wants to real women! Fight on, Nation! Don't cave!

-SC

Bacony · Jun 3, 2015

Thanks guys for answering. It helps a lot. I have been taking classes a lot with taekwando and found that it really helps with my depression. I hope you guys can find something that helps you too!

Stretchcomic · Jun 4, 2015

I gotta say, this journal has been a lifesaver. I was hesitant at first but talking about your progress, meeting likeminded people, even just reading other peoples' struggles and triumphs is huge for me. Its almost been 11 days and I feel stronger than ever. I'm still using an app that blocks some of the sites I was more drawn to, but i'm thinking I might stop using that after a month or two so that I can learn to better trust myself.

The important thing for me is realizing that just because I now don't feel as much anxiety or depression as before, it doesn't mean i'm cured and can get back into my addiction "just a few times". I'm done. I have to be. I got a long ways to go, and I can't wait to look back at the amazing feeling of success when I reach 90 days. Fight on, Nation.

-SC

Stretchcomic · Jun 5, 2015

Day 12: Minor breakthrough i'm so glad to reach!

I've been able to get morning wood after weaning myself off of porn for awhile, but that was usually it for me in the day before I've stopped cold turkey for the last 12 days. However, today I was driving and thinking about my girlfriend when I got stiff as a damn golf club and got a little reassurance that i'm doing the right thing by rebooting. Never thought i'd end up bragging about a random chub, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and I think all minor successes should be celebrated for us.

Still not entirely confident in my ability to legitimately be with my gf, but this babystep could be the start of something new with more progress to come. This after I was near a relapse last night and had to sleep with my phone and computer in another room. The future path is going to be full of highs and lows, and I hope to god I can keep this momentum moving forward so I can finally win against PIED and write my column in the "success stories" forum. Fight on, Nation, and feel free to PM me if you have any tips or questions!

-SC

HandsomeAwkward · Jun 6, 2015

Good job dude, keep going. I'm certain that's all a good sign and that shit is only going to get better if you keep being strong and resisting. Hopefully we'll all be able to write a success story eventually

Stretchcomic · Jun 6, 2015

Hell yeah, Awkward! That's one of the goals to reach, and you're sure as hell gonna get one of those stories too.

Honestly, my biggest motivation is going to be looking at where I've been and not being able to believe I once thought that was acceptable for myself. I deserve more than a screen, we all do! It's sure as hell going to be worth the journey and we should all hold each other responsible for no PMO and getting healthy. Could y'all imagine the success story it'd be for all of us to stick it out and fight through, succeeding at around the same time?! Do this for yourselves and each other, you guys! Fight on!

-SC

Stretchcomic · Jun 8, 2015

I crossed my first threshold! I was so terrified about these first 2 weeks but I've finally gotten them down. Its just a small step on the long road to recovery, but it feels good to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know i'm working hard at these changes.

I am so done with this shit ruining my life. I can't wait to know I've beaten it. I'm a little bit afraid of what comes next: the major flatline. From my research and initial 40 day clean experience, this flatline is depressing as hell and lasts a long time. I'm riding a pretty good high right now, I hope that this flatline isn't as bad as last time because I lost a ton of drive and energy, something I can't afford to do now with my gf and various other goals i'm working on reaching.

I guess I can just hope for the best, right? Fight on, soldiers

-SC

Stretchcomic · Jun 9, 2015

Guys... y'all should read this post. Its pretty long and has some triggers, but its totally shifted my perspective on the issue. Focus on your lives, not porn.

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0

-SC

Fight this, you're soldiers

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