I find that I WANT to be tempted...

After 9 months of abstinence from porn, I relapsed. I've been down this road many times before, but I've never put together that much time before. That craving kicks in. Once you start you can't stop. And then there's that mental obsession. I can't seem to stop from starting. How I got in to this mess was by sexting. I justified that behavior on the basis that it wasn't "porn," and that I wasn't fapping. But, in hindsight, I can see that I was getting closer and closer to the line each time I engaged in that behavior. The truth is that there's a part of me that WANTED to be tempted again. To feel that rush again. Now, I'm just trying to put together a few days (one day at a time), but I simply lack the power to do it by any effort of will. I want to want it, but I do not want it, despite the inevitable consequences that I know await me. I'm sure I'm not saying anything that most of you can't relate to, but I still feel like I need to say it because I need some encouragement.

Nine Months thats incredible! Most people struggle to make it to ninety days. You did it three times over.

One relapse does not reset your progress.

You'll still be able to get it up with real women, and your brain fog will subside in a few days.

The WORST thing to do would be to obsess over your mistake. That's a sure way to relapse.

Get out into the world and conquer your life like you have been. Don't sweat it!