Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

I'm 33.

I've been a heavy masturbator since my teenage.

Porn has been on and off.  but since 8-10 years I'm a regular porn addict but not of porn sites, but mostly of movies, netflix and youtube.

I have only once been in a relationship for a brief interval. I have only experienced a couple of kisses but a virgin.

I am suffering from PIED since long long years.  I did my tests but all are okay. I didn't know about PIED. Since I don't have girlfriend I kept using porn to valide my manhood. Even with porn its not very hard or for long time.

My penis is now very small permanently and its very difficult to pee. I'm fucked up physically.


I will now be exercising daily, get more clients and try to be more social.

I'm committing to a porn free life and will update the thread daily.



 
L

Lero

Guest
Welcome, man. This is the perfect place to be. It's the best forum for recovering porn addicts. The more, the better. The more are against porn, the less power it will have.
 
Thank you guys for all your support

I'm experiencing pain in my back

I'm trying to stay relax but there are some stressful issues  which needs to be dealt with.
.
 
Thank you.

I have decided to implement some rules from today. They're very simple but something important.

1. No Internet after 10 pm
2. Sleep by 11 / Get Up by 5 am.
3. Exercise in the morning - even a walk can count as exercise as of now

These are very simple and inter-related habits.

As for Rewards, I will defintely get better at my work and increase my income.


I will journal as to how I'm working on these simple things from tomorrow.

 
I go back to zero.

I was supposed to watch Chelsea liverpool match but ended up watching adult web series.

But it was not a binge.

I will strictly follow my routine. No cheat days. Any form of digital stimulation is poison.

 

Pdub

Member
Do you know what your triggers are?

For me it is being angry, lonely, or bored.  I had to learn to recognize my triggers before I could walk the path for longer than a week.  Knowing your triggers is good.  Making a plan or having something you do to snap out of it is good too.

Keep at it green_grass.  You can do this man! I believe in you.
 
Thank you.

I think I have those triggers too- loneliness, boredom, insomnia.


I'm doing good. Trying my best to be focused at work and sleep well.
 
L

Lero

Guest
Good discussion about triggers. In my case, when my mental state is good, my trigger is the desire for the pleasure brought by the dopamine release. When my mental state is bad: Sexual frustration (no sex life), anxiety, stress, boredom, maybe really in this order. When my mental state is bad I'm more affected by those, I pay attention to them more. I handle them better when my mental state is good. But, no matter what's going on, there is always something that reminds me of porn  :mad:

Update: I forgot to say alcohol. I've relapsed a lot because of drinking.
 
Lero said:
Good discussion about triggers. In my case, when my mental state is good, my trigger is the desire for the pleasure brought by the dopamine release. When my mental state is bad: Sexual frustration (no sex life), anxiety, stress, boredom, maybe really in this order. When my mental state is bad I'm more affected by those, I pay attention to them more. I handle them better when my mental state is good. But, no matter what's going on, there is always something that reminds me of porn  :mad:

Update: I forgot to say alcohol. I've relapsed a lot because of drinking.

Yes. This is a good discussion. Thanks for stopping by.

I feel my triggers include insecurity too. Like when I feel I would never be able to touch a woman or get married or discuss something of that sort, the noise in my backyard of my consciousness trigger me to indulge in it.

 
L

Lero

Guest
green_grass said:
I feel my triggers include insecurity too. Like when I feel I would never be able to touch a woman or get married or discuss something of that sort, the noise in my backyard of my consciousness trigger me to indulge in it.

Same.
 
I find it difficult to focus for long.  Short attention span, probably years of addiction has made us self-pleasure monkeys. 
The road is difficult and it need lot of discipline. But what sucks is not knowing whether I will get result. But then do I have other option?



 
L

Lero

Guest
green_grass said:
I find it difficult to focus for long.  Short attention span, probably years of addiction has made us self-pleasure monkeys. 
The road is difficult and it need lot of discipline. But what sucks is not knowing whether I will get result. But then do I have other option?

Same for me. I have shit attention span and decision making.
 
Epic fail today.

Woke up in the middle of the night, dont know what led me to yt and I end up being a failure.

Start from day 1 again.
 
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